I am a 36 year old male who two months ago impulsively tried to commit suicide following a very sudden breakup.  The afternoon of the breakup I ingested 60 over-the-counter sleeping pills after drinking ten beers within one hour on an empty stomach.  I hastily scribbled out some notes to friends and family before taking the pills.  After taking them I got into bed and waited to die.  I thought it would be a sure thing.  After approximately 10 minutes I started to feel my entire body buzz.  It actually felt very pleasant.  I remember looking up at my ceiling….thin lines of sunlight stretching out […]

by U. kill me oh kill me to save me from the pain. i see a couple and think of u, hold me dont let me go. i love you. i CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU. not that ur ignoring me cuz right now ur not. but i know if i dont get my phone back soon i can kiss u good-bye. nope i cant do that. EVERYONE HATES U. i dont get that. i know sometimes u just have issues but i rather work through them then forget everything. i hold on. and baby? u blinded me. cuz now i screw everyone and love […]

today she told him. that she was and is in ove with him. she knows that he is with one of her old friends. but yet he says he loves her. she asks what he wants to do what he will do. he says ignore it. she dosnt want that. but she dosnt want to loose her best friend. but his next words killed her. he said we could be friends with benifits. she answers no. no words are exchanged for weeks she lost him. what to do? help

Its that girl who dated that guy who threatened to kill us at school. That girl lives a quite life dosnt have many friends. She dosnt trust that many people after that guy. her life is miserable his dad works at her school he reminds her of the pain she went through of the three years of love ruined by that guy. i am that girl.

yesterday i set out with my bestfriend for her graduation party hungout with all of our close friends… night time came and i went to a party where i hoped id be meeting my boy, i was already mad at him for not getting ahold of me for a week and i find out hes with his two boys and 3 girls = instamadness. anyways he gets there to the party and im already a cup down of jungle juice we kinda talk nothing big… i decide to go pull him aside so we can talk he says no i dont feel like (looking at […]

My story begins in the 8th grade. It was the year 2008 and it was by far one of my worst years ever. My dog, Napoleon had died and nearly flunking out of school only added to my distress. Not surprisingly, it was also the same year I tried to run away from home. Luckily for my parents, I had no where to go so I returned quickly within about a day of leaving. The High School years of my life were a complete mess, leaving me with no direction, I spent most of my time wandering the hallways, lost and without purpose. I felt as […]

Yeah I didn’t think so. A lot of people who knew me on here aren’t on here anymore… Either facebook or email. And only two still talk to me. Probly because the two that I email I said goodbye for good. But I talk to 2 sp friends still. So I doubt I’m missed. Well I’m still here.

I woke up crying this morning. I dreamt that I ran into my daughter’s grandmother at the mall. Only she pretended not to see me.  As I walked closer it became more obvious her attempt was to look directly at my face.  In my dream I remembered the letter I had just written and planned to tell her that she would be receiving it in the mail soon. Only didn’t say anything, but she looked at me all of the sudden as if I had. She began to laugh at me and ask me “if that was all” she looked to her friends beside her, […]

I don’t know who’s reading this and frankly I don’t need you to try to talk me out of killing myself , I’m done with life. I’m done with the system . Everything sucks and I have no reason to be alive . All this shit that is happening , all the crap . I’m done with it . I’m tired of living . Cutting doesn’t even help anymore . I’m just left with the scars , the painful reminders of how much life sucks . How should I go ? my thought right now is hanging but I wanna go quick and painless . […]

Just warning you I’m a bad author so

Well during the school year I was a loud, bubbly, never-cry-in-public, person. But since summer got out and I haven’t been around many people  I isolated myself from everything and I felt fuzzy about everything all the time, and I started thinking. and since then I’ve been a lot more sensitive and I would cry about nothing and I felt really weak. I always was the friend that talked with my friends about their problems and tried to help, but now I’m the friend that can barely pay attention in conversations in general. So everytime someone would call […]

I feel so confused… One minute I want to die, and the next I wish someone was here to tell me everything is going to be okay. I’m so unhappy with myself and I feel like such a failure. I know it’s all growing pains but I’ve felt so sad since I was in high school. I hate these hormones, or whatever is causing me to feel so sad. It’s a cycle. I can’t eat because I’m sad, and I feel sad because I don’t eat. I can’t make up my mind whether I want to live or die.

The boy I live with, whom I […]

i don’t know why i put up with everything everyday. i thought it was because i wanted to be strong for my niece and my family but sometimes i find that i don’t even feel anything towards them. i hate lying about my life to other people but i can’t tell them the truth. i know how many people love and care for me but it makes me feel bad because i don’t love them like i should. all i want is to be happy, to have a real smile on my face, and to be able to say i love you to someone and acutally mean it. […]

I didn’t realize how soon I’d be here with less light. That’s the way of it though, always has been. Perhaps I am a bit bipolar? Who knows? Who cares? Somehow this beautiful day has transformed. Somehow I managed to finally open the bottle of whiskey that’s been closed for months and crank up “Prayers for Rain” on repeat…for the last hour. It’s a great song, one of my favorites from The Cure. Some days though, some days it gets to me. Some days, like today it nudges the floodgates open. I’ve been writing for the last hour or so, I didn’t realize how much […]

I guess I should just put it out thereWhen I was 10 I was sexually abused although it wasn’t rape it has always haunted me. I told my mom Nd my stepfather but they didn’t believe me. Then my stepdad started sneaking into my room in the mornings when my mom would go to work. I guess you can figure what he did from there. I would pretend to be asleep so I could tell myself I wasn’t so disgusting enough to let him touch me in all my snsesz I never told m mom about that. It’s not as if she would believe me. […]

My name is Kerli. I am 29 year old woman. I lost a close relative who was my best friend. She died at the age of 7. I miss her so much. I remember the day i found out she was dead. I could not cry. I was so shocked. I thought about everything and I realized that it was very odd that she had died. I looked at myself and could not imagine I would die young. It just FELT that I would not die young. Then I figured there was something wrong with her that drove her fate to be dead at 7. […]

I have bought 24 sleeping pills, but don’t know how to do this. I have a dog that I don’t know where she will stay or what will happen to her. my story…..I’m homeless, jobless and moneyless. my vehicle will be repoed any day, sadly its my home atthe moment and has been for going on 3 months. salvation army has not contacted me back either, so I’m out of options. its sad to say but my dog is the only thing keeping me second guessing. I’ve found a place for her that I could leave her and hopefully she can be happy. she is […]

I try to help as many people as possible. As you can see, I’ve been trying to help as many on here as possible.

So, I was feeling pretty good for the last day or so. But as I woke today, things changed.

Everything was coming back. First of all, I was adopted, secondly, I was sexually abused by someone, third, I was the boy who abused someone else, and lastly, I found christ.

This all came back to me today. And as I know most of you will probably think that the following is stupid, I’m missing a friend of mine.

She’s my best […]

alright here we go! another post.. i guess I really am just chemically imbalanced.. brain chemistry my therapist said.. up and down .. up and down same shit over and over again.. few months back I thought I was fucked up NOW I realize how great my life was.. and actually how positive I was feeling then..

I had two girls and many prospective ones who were waiting for me to jump on them (i’m kinda crazy like that) .. now I still have them.. and the prospective ones are waiting (tho maybe I left them waiting for too long) .. just that magical feeling.. my […]

i want to know the easy way to die but i have no clue how to do it, i thought gas but dont have a car, hangin but nothin to hang from in my house and everythin else im to scared to do. i wanna die cos i fell down the stairs 2 years ago and damanged my back and pelvis, the pain hasnt gone jus got worse and tht on top of not havin a job and my weight my head wants to explode. i cnt be bothered to carry on writing so if anyone has any ideas, than much appreicated…….

im followed everywhere sure yeah sis and i get along now but do i get to walk around or be in my room before dark. NOPE! im still a bitchess slave and forever will be:/