Suicide is the only answer for me, don’t bother telling me otherwise, I’ve tried and failed before but I haven’t changed my mind. I’ve been unhappy and apathetic for as long as I can remember regardless of how hard I’ve tried to push myself or the different things I’ve tried. I just want the pain to go away, it’s really unbearable at times. I think about bad times in my life, about God, about all the bad people in the world, how bad the world is, how worthless I am, and often enough I picture myself dying in gruesome ways. I end up crying, shaking, […]

I think that I have been dead for a long time or maybe more enlightened than the rest of the world but I just feel so lost and alone with no one to connect to. Its not that people don’t connect to me, its just that I am wading and others are holding on to me as I am drowning, I don’t know how much longer I can do it.

Life is boring… I feel like im just sitting here waiting to finish this life. Like i am at a bus station just waiting to get on and take off to another destination where theres less restrictions and more adventure. I have no reason to be here anymore.

Just making a list that I can look back on whenever I feel down.
– Parents: Unlike what most people I know say about their parents, mine are amazing to me. They have supported me through everything and never left. If anything, they are here more than ever 🙂
– Close friends: They understand that I need them, but that I also need space.
– Boyfriend: I don’t even know where to start with how much he has helped me.
– My old therapist: The reason I can trust.
– My ex / now friend: The one person who completely understood and took all the […]

So here is what is up. I’ve been in the hospital for a few days, I’ve seen sum doctors and a therapist. I went to my new therpist and doctor today and had very good results. . They kno that the feelings and the depression has been caused by all the nuro/seizure/brain issues I’ve had all my life. Plus all the meds I have taken. They are also believing the auras I’ve been having are silent seizures, which scares me so please keep me in ur prayers.. I have a wonderful therapist that is helping me thru sum issues in my life as well as […]

Everyday I think to myself: Why am I not dead yet? All of this is POINTLESS. So why bother? Maybe I could suffer through this, but I’d be SUFFERING. Everyday it’s the distractions, it’s the “what can I do to NOT think about X” – but it comes to mind anyway, stays there. All those bad thoughts make a cozy home in my mind. I question why I don’t just write up a note and go already…I’m so confused. I’m almost fed up with this “try to change” shit.

Had a few good (sort of) days. Now the depression is coming back like it always does. Suffering 2 month long dakr depression for 2 to 3 days of mild happiness? Who ever said it was worth it was a wonderful optimist. The sad part is the depression is getting worse and darker and playing with my suicide button I don’t really hide at all within myself. I dare it to push it. But no…The depression gets longer into the burning depths while the “happy” days shorten. It makes me want to go back to cutting so I can endure this predictability more easily and […]

I’m so fuckin sick and tired of doing this. Day in day out I just float through my day, half awake half asleep, just waiting to die. Every morning I wake up dissapointed to find I’m still breathing, just the thought of getting out of my bed and looking in thr mirror scares the shit out of me. I am a coward . If I wasn’t then I would have finished the job quite some time ago instead of just lingering aimlessly through a pointless existence. I don’t want tp be here anymore, I have grown so bitter […]

There is a boy on Twitter saying he’s going to do it. He has the pills. His name is Jacob.

The way I found out is through some stuck up idiots on Facebook saying Jacob is only doing it for attention, and he isn’t going to do it. But, how could they possibly know? Who are they to decide whether or not someone will or will not do it?  Unless they are posing as Jacob, then there is no way for them to know.  I’m going to tweet a link to this post to him because this is too much for 140 characters.

Jacob, I don’t know […]

Hi, I’m action. I’ve been on this site for around 2 years now. No-one really knows me though because I’m not the greatest at making friends. The friends I have in real life, I made ages ago which is kind of lucky I guess. Anyway, I was thinking and… When I’m on this site I feel sort of, kind of… normal, or one of the majority I guess I could say. By that I mean, going through the stuff I do, and most likely you do too (see what I mean). But is it really normal? I feel when I’m on this site, majority of people are going […]

hold me? kiss me? love me! BUT U CANT. ur to far away. r relationship ALMOST ended today. :'( im so sorry. i didnt think u would it that way..just please stay. if i can just be next to..i can get our love back where it was…i know u love me but u knew im suicidal and said ud be there for me…i tell u i started cutting again…i do it again apparently we’re done. NO! please dont do that all ive done is hold back as much as i can from crying..just hoping u were here to hold me…even kiss me. let me know […]

Don’t wanna breathe anymore, don’t want to think anymore, don’t wanna spend the rest of my life missing the good times, don’t wanna have a life without my family and friends, Don’t wanna have this life, some days life feels just like a sickness and death seems to be the only cure…Fucking life worth less than nothing. 

So you’ve decided to take this from me too?

Well if you hadn’t noticed, most of these were about you.

I have posted this comment a couple of times now and really have appreciated some of the responses.  I posted the same comment to Facebook and still have received nothing so, I would like to say thank you to everyone for letting me feel heard. I truly appreciate it.  I’d also like to thank xJohnnyChimpo for sending me this link to a very tasteful and informative documentary.  ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slZnfC-V1SY )It was very reveling toward my own autonomy and thus granting me more freedom and hope than I ever had before.

I’m taking a class right now that requires me to write a persuasive essay on […]

First off, I want to say that I understand how people here feel, because I felt that way for years.  And I do believe in an individual’s right to take their own life.  So I’m not going to tell anyone that it’s bad to feel that way.  I’ve noticed that some people here feel that they’ve exhausted their options, so I just wanted to throw a few out there that a lot of people don’t know about.  So if you’re someone that would like to live if you could just feel better, think about looking into the things below:

-Hormonal imbalances and blood sugar disorders can […]

Im in love with a girl. She’s gorgeous, funny, and just fun as shit to be around. I love her more than ive ever let her on to know. I love her beyond just a physical attraction. I want nothing but happiness and good things for her, even if im not the one to bring those things to her. I want to die, i really do…. But im just not sure how it will affect her. Im sure she’ll be fine. Im probably just a footnote in her life anyway. Just a nice guy that she liked for a little while and then moved […]

I tried it, I couldnt do it Ive fucked it up. i dont know how to do it, quickly so thers no chance of fucking up, i tried getting some castor bean seeds but my ma caught me online. idk what to do, i just want something quick and untreatable but the only ways i have accsess to can be reversed or aren’t quick im not too fussy on painless though. any ideas cuz quite honestly im fucked up now all i got left to do is die any ideas and no i dont fucking want to talk i tried getting help but in ireland […]

I can still remember that first time in my life when I thought to my self “is there actually a point of living?” at that point, I was in a right state. Didn’t have the best day of school, had so much going on in my life and everything was pilling up. I just got bored and tired of having to pick myself up from the ground and get back on my own two feet. I just didn’t see the point in it at all.

I remember that I kept thinking to myself ” There’s going to be no hope in the end, might as well […]

So my last post was about my last remaining friends nearly leaving me.

Last week, on Wednesday, I guess they made the decision to abandon me completely.

I was going to go out with a bunch of their friends. It was going to be a very, very good thing for me. My life was finally looking up, and I was actually going to talk to one of them about my suicidal tendencies. I was going to make a conscious effort to try and drag my self out of this hole, and I might have actually managed it given time.

And then I got a text.

“Sorry, they don’t want […]

Yeah, Urm. I had an arguement with daniel earlier… About how i was going to put an end to him.

Kinda feel bad now. :/

And still so fucking nervous about this assessment.

Suicide sounds pretty good.