Done. Nothing to live for. Not going to bother being alive anymore. I realize I have no other person in my life who cares about me. I had another awful day today, and I just realized that not a single person cares to comfort me. I ran through the list in my head. My mom is self-absorbed, and suffers from crippling emotional problems, so she is never someone I confide in because she does understand how to properly deal with other peoples’ emotions. My immediate family are rich businessmen and women, who believe that pain is for the weak. My few close friends all use […]
damb,why do people decide to give you reasons to trust them until you trust them enough just to the point you are actually thinking(you know what, i might feel like i trust this person, mabey they aint fake after all)then they go and pull the same shit everyone els does, and people wonder why i am the way i am,its always the people you least expect,so why trust anyone in this world,my heart just got as cold as it can get,i had a little love left in my heart after 21 years,but now i literally feel nothing,   last night i was praying to god(if my […]
May 5 2012 Day 1
Today I had an idea. It is a good idea I think. From this day I will stay sober! There is this really disgusting habit(addiction) I have and I do believe it influenced my life in a way I never imagined. I know I can’t get the girl I love, even if I stay sober now for ever, but I can help myself a lot. I hope my emotional roller coaster will stop. It is not a serious problem, nothing life threating, but my addiction is bad for me. Very bad. I am feeling so sick every time after I lived […]
the Watcher
The woodsmen, on this day as any other, dragged his found logs from the forest, on a small cart, into the village. Winter was coming and like his father before him he would need to gather a lot of wood to fend off the coming cold. He patted his children on the head and headed back into the dark cool forest for another load of wood. Deeper and deeper he searched for trees that had fallen and split so that he may break them with his hands and fill his cart. Deadfall wood was getting hard to find, his need was great but his […]
Hi,
Since i was the age of 12, i got depressed and i still am today, (23 years now). I tried around 6 suicides attempts but all failed.
And the worse part is, my parents and friends dont even know after 11 years that i am depressed. They dont have a single clue.. Parents always know whats wrong with their children. Dont they care or am i hiding it to well
My cousin Rodrick told me about this site and he knows even though I’ve been through a lot I still love to help others. I’ve help so many friends with this and I’d love to help you guys if you don’t mind.
There’s this boy and we have liked each other for a while and now its on and off with him. I get really caught up with the fact that some flirt has to hang around him all the time and make me jealous. She acts like a dumb blonde whenever she’s near any guy. He doesn’t know that I do love him and cry about him because I think he’s beginning to like her. I doubt she likes him like I do, I know who she likes and for once he liked me more than her. I feel like she’s trying to get back at […]
I wont lie – I’ve broken a couple of hearts.
The boys I went out with; they were amazing, loving, romantic people, but i just couldn’t keep an interest and I don’t understand why! Was it just because they weren’t right for me? Or is there something wrong with me; because I feel like I am unable to love… It pains me so much when I see them hurting because of me, but I really don’t know how else I can go about it.
My favorite saying is when a girl acts like she doesnt care thats when she needs you the most. I love that saying because it is true.
My other favorite saying is Its not the broken dreams that break us… it’s the dreams we fail to dream… I always thought that all my failed dreams where hurting me but when i heard this i thought maybe its not those failed dreams… Its the ones i never came across yet. We are all troubled here and no one judges here(i hope) so dream as big as this world and beyond then share your dreams with all of […]
Im just so fucking scared that I will fail. I dont want to fail. And since I’m one of the worlds biggest failures there’s a big possibility that I will.
I found a dead bird in my front yard the other day.
Normally, I wouldn’t be so caught up on this one animal because to be honest I really don’t like birds (long story) but this particular bird was different.
It started with my cousin’s apparent death that is encroaching more and more rapidly with each day.
My cousin, Zachariah, has been my paralyazed from the neck down since he was seventeen in a motocross accident. At first he was still the same cousin I loved, still able to move around in his electric wheel chair which he would always give me rides on whenever I wanted. He […]
My mom told me when I lived in my hometown and was not even one yet that when people had a bad day, theyd ask for me because just my presense cheered them up. People always tell me how noce I am. And how happy i am. And how much I fucking make their life so much better. Ive had people tell me i’d be a good therapist, and thats what I should do in life. Im known for helping people out.. But when it comes to me, I get no help. I have tO go through this shit alone. No one stops to ask […]
My best friend. Gone. Then my courage allows it back. We were non influenced teens. He fell in with a different Crowd and started liking different things. This wasn’t so bad but we drifted more and more over time. I got the balls to come out and say what was up. Then I’m told that his newer friend introduced him to a girl, he lost his v card, she fucked around with his head and he slipped into depression. With which his friend got him to smoke weed… Though you wouldn’t think it from the outside, knowing him for so long I wouldn’t believe these […]
have you ever had that feeling thats like you going through the motions of life but your mind isnt really there? I have that feeling almost every day at skool and I hate it. It makes me very tired at the end of the day and i feel so used to it by now…but what do you do about it??? You cant just say ” Hey brain keep up with me.” so what do i do???
“Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acid stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren’t lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live. “
I am no expert on suicide. I found this site tonight because of an article I read, that caused me to do a google search on exit bags to find out more, as I did not even know they existed.  I am not a person even contemplating suicide.
After reading some stories here on this site, which honestly horrified me. I felt the need to try to post something that may help some people in some way.
I am not against suicide in any way. After watching both my parents die from lung cancer and how horrible it was, I kinda wish they had chosen to do […]
I’m wondering how old everyone on here is, it seems many of the posters here are teenagers.
I am 19.
I’ve been having numerous problems over the past several years (living in fear, confinement, fatigue, weakness, headaches and other physical problems) and I can’t help but pity myself over it, but I honestly don’t feel that bad about it because my life would’ve been boring without having to deal with the hardships I endured. Life is pointless, especially in this society where all it seems to be about is work and money. It’s a shame, I don’t think I could find a purpose to living even if I had the opportunity no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried. It pisses me […]
I am exhausted.
tired from acting happy while feeling nothing.
tired from going through the motions.
tired from not caring while pretending to.
impossible to dull the feelings when there are none.
what is it like to feel something?
what is it like to care?
I remember the first time I actually thought about suicide. I was doing the dishes, and I broke a coffee pot. The only damn coffee pot. I was so sick of everything, of doing every fucking thing wrong, I just started screaming. And then that’s when I heard my mother’s voice. She said, “The knife’s in the drawer. Cut off your singer and you’ll be dead in five minutes. I walked over to the drawer, pulled out the knife, and pressed it to my finger, then my wrist. Hard. Until I winced and pulled it back. I spent the rest of the day sobbing under […]