back in june 2011 my mom beat me, should i tell the cops?? it was a while ago but still child abuse

I remember a time where i could cut and then go on about my day with a fake smile as if everything was all fine and dandy. Cutting use to hold me together. It used to keep me sane. But now no matter what i do, or how much blood is shed i just cant seem to even pretend to be happy.I feel like i will never experience true happiness.

I never understood why people write letters before killing themselves. It always seemed sort of unnecessary and selfish to put the ones that stay under a letter apologizing why they did what they did because why did they do it in the first place? So I never understood why, until now. They write because it’s the last goodbye, it’s their last attempt to say they love who’s staying and they are sorry they couldn’t find a way out… They know it’s gonna hurt who’s reading it, they do, but they have to write it. It’s like when an old man decides to reveal his last […]

I’m done with my life. I can’t stand the raping and bullying at my school anymore. I can’t stand how my “friends” keep on back stabbing me. I don’t want to keep on having to cry myself asleep because of a guy who i love but for him i’m only another sex toy. I can’t take it how my family just watches from a far how i slowly brake down. And most of all i can’t take the people anymore who say they want to help but then turn around and don’t come back. Whats the piont in living if you only feel pain?! […]

If any of you need advice/support, text me. I actually care <3

605-223-0681

Today was one of the weirdest days of my life. I have been depressed since I was 10 years old. I’m 14 right now. I have attempted suicide 4 times. I have tried to drown myself, I have thrown myself down stairs trying to break my neck, I have tried strangling myself, and I have taken 15 pills. Today, I was bickering with my boyfriend John all day. We argued over him eating, me eating, and me cutting myself. First time we argued it wasn’t that bad. Then I told him that I was craving blood. He didn’t quite understand. So then I went upstairs to […]

It’s gettin harder each day to act like I’m ok.

I’m not.

I’m so tired of feeling like this, I want it all to end.

I can’t go on.

I wake up a and the feeling of dread washes over me like a tsunami of angst.

Upset I woke up at all.

This needs to end.

do i have borderline personality disorder?
i desperately want to know what i have why i have it and how i can fix it.
i dont know if these questions are ever answered but atleast i will die knowing that i did care enough to look for an answer. i want to be able to grasp what it is that is wrong with me and then be able to tackle it.
this empty feeling is consuming me. i want to be able to say that i can one day be normal. i want to be able to live my life, set goals and realize them.

Im in love with my bf but im not over my ex): painful.
What should i do?

Lost inside idk where to go

trapped with anger, lost of all hope

no finger pointing, only I who is to blame

Im shackled and caged filled FULL of rage

If I wrap this sheet around my neck

I can put water to the blaze

Satan got ahold of me, BOY is he vicious

gave up on myself, dont even care about christmas

miracles dont happen, so I accept my fate

trapped in my own mind there is no escape

razors and knives pierce thru my heart

misery filled conscience, stand alone in the dark

nowhere to run, nowhere to hide

failure hurts, I just want to die

written in summer of 2011, but just bought my charcoal grill […]

Heart breaks into millions, im still standing, You chase me down and broke it when I.was trying to believe and dream but these scars wont bleed because the one I love took it all.

http://m.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.youtube.com%252Fwatch%253Ffeature%253Dplayer_detailpage%2526v%253D8PtcOjrGGIU&h=pAQGJD02K

I will continue facing life with pain, heartbreaks and of course the pressure of society. Im falling apart but i would rather feel pain then dealth because I have the power to decide. Imiss the smiles and kisses you gave me but I face the prints on my neck and face just to know at the end you love me.

I looked up the signs of a controlling bf & he fits every sign it seems like. What can I do to try to fix our relationship. I’m depressed and suffering..

I have read many of the stories here. Its funny I never read any of these where somebody has said to themselves that at that exact moment that they are feeling so down and out that someone else in the world is a lot worse off. I don’t say this to be mean, Its just something I have learned to use in my own life “empathy”. I know the daily struggle of suicide. I myself have been locked away in the bin a few times. I too am a cutter and burner and lots of hitting in the head and face. I have thoughts of […]

It’s been a few hours after my last post. I am tired of this shit. I’m tired of living, I hate life. No point in having one. God is a false deity. The idea that God is Satan is very thorough, but I still don’t believe in a god. Or else he’s past insane. He keeps repeating human’s course over billions and billions of people and never is there a right person. Everyone is evil. I wonder what was Jesus’ motives. He was probably filling his ego. Maybe he was brainwashed. 

I hope to join the army in 1 1/2 years. That’s too far away, though. […]

all of this pain…it didnt just come alive inside of me. it brought on throughout the years. i remember myself being such a happy child. i remember loving life and i remember i hated thought of dying. then i got to 5th grade and thats when everything started to change. people started to make fun of me because of my weight and because i wasnt all that smart.6th grade was the worst. the kids in my class tricked me into thinking that this guy really liked me and after a while i started to really like him too. then they told me that he never liked me […]

Sometimes it may seem as thou i am alone in this world because it seems as thou no one else s in it with me but after watching the movie cyber bully i realize i am not alone there are other people like me out there so what i do is search the net for sites that give info on people like me and talk and relate with them and try to understand them as they understand me and make it known to my self that i am not alone in this world and even if it seemed as thou there are no people i […]

Pain burns through me and I cant stop the fire that kills me. Im nothing. Ill always be nothing. I like to believe that Im worth it. But am I truly? I can never be the girl that Ive always wanted to be. I could never be pretty, smart, extremely talented. Ill never be cool and ill never be someone amazing. Ill always be the fat ugly girl. Ill always be stupid…ill always be alone. I know that they all want me to be different. Even my own father wishes that I was different. Trust me, I wish I was different too. I trick myself into believing […]

I was taught to believe you exist and you are the creator of all things.

Through my own thought and reasoning I do believe you exist and I do believe you created all things as  everything is too intricate and  complicated to have happened by chance.

But as you are the creator, the point of origin of all existence, I feel you have some explaining to do.

As God and creator even if you created the big bang and evolution, you are singularly responsible for all things.  This means you are evil. This means you are good.  As these did not exist otherwise. Yes evil is your creation. […]