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December 25th, 2010by waitingandquestioning

I know it is so selfish to take your life at the holidays…but today, Christmas, has only confirmed to me, even more, that I cannot do this anymore…I have no desire to live. There is no point to live. I know I am making everyone around me crazy with how miserable I am, it would be so much easier if I was not here…maybe then I could be at peace. Peace…what a word. I really don’t think it exists anymore. I have heard my entire life about peace…but there is no such thing.

I don’t want to do anything anymore. I am tired of fighting, dreaming, …

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December 25th, 2010by thinking about it

Is it strange to spend most of your time secluding your self in dark rooms, when you long to be with people and you are afraid of the dark. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

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eight minutes, 57 seconds

December 25th, 2010by Kim

That’s how long the Christmas call with my parents lasted. They made sure all of the relatives had left before calling me so no one had to talk to the black sheep of the family who got fired. Never mind that my mother has been unemployed for more than a decade.

They kept telling me to cheer up, that there are jobs out there if I just look hard enough. Really? Why don’t you try? I live in fucking rural Wisconsin. I can’t afford to move because I owe more on my house than it’s worth (memo: the American dream is dead and you should …

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everything falls apart in the end

December 25th, 2010by watsername

I mean nothing to the people I love.

My life is a sad story filled with agony. It hasn´t made me strong, just lonely and miserable.

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December 25th, 2010by thinking about it

Its strange, you read about people who hurt themselves and want to die and you thing “thats a bunch of bull, no one in the right mind would do that.” As far as I can tell i am in the right mind. I try to act normal and cheerful, and people don’t seem to notice how i’m feeling because thats how i have always hidden it. Some days i let my wall come down a little and people ask me whats wrong, and immediately a cover up and return to my usual, fake self.

Compared to most people i’m nothing, i’m a lier who tells herself …

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a glorious christmas eve

December 25th, 2010by ...

ive been labled as the worst offspring in my family. the adults think i wont get anywhere in life and my cousins just call me stupid. They laugh at my dreams and havn’t bothered to save money for college cuz they think im not good enough anyways. mayb theyre right. mayb im not good enough to get to college. there goes my dream. if i dont hve a dream or family, then perhaps friends? not a chance. to all of them, even one who i called my best friend, im just another person. things were no different from when i was a kid, so why …

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meaning.. friends..?

December 25th, 2010by Jeffy

I want a meaning to life.. i have never had a true meaning i lost my best friend when i was 12years old, on christmas day today i lost my best mate from school… all because wed distanced.. i have another close friend who has stopped me suiciding so many times.. but lives 3hrs north from me.. i hate burdening him with my bs all the time..

i want friends.. i want people who will care about me.. and not judge me…

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December 25th, 2010by

fuck….i hate my this life…i am trapped inside of my own mind…tortured by depressing thoughts and memories unable to escape…everytime i talk to someone i feel like im holding my breath…i wish i wasnt the way i am.

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Afraid of failure

December 25th, 2010by solange

Like a lot of people, I have been afraid to end things. I thought of overdosing but I’m afraid of waking up. So I have been considering a different way which is more violent but I think it would be more effective…
I have a history with knives so I feel more comfortable using that…well at least as far as making sure its effective.

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I am alone on Christmas

December 25th, 2010by sayummm

It’s Christmas the happiest time of the year and I am just sitting in my bed crying. I am upset that I will spend Christmas alone. Why Can’t I handle this why can’t I want this more, I just want to give up. I hate myself. No one loves me and no one ever will. My parents don’t understand me they send my away to a therapist to get me to understand the value of life and how I am supposed to be. The guy who tells me he loves me can’t even make it to my Christmas, because his brother tells him all he …

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Continuous Suicide Note

December 24th, 2010by waterfallofpaint

Hey, does anyone remember the site:
with the “Continuous Suicide Note”?
It was maintained by a guy with the moniker of “trouble”. A brilliantly written misanthropic masterpiece, from at least the mid/late 90s to early 2000s. He must have sold the domain, though there is some things left on the internet archives. I miss his writings. They used to comfort me, and probably stopped me from taking my life at the time. Anyone feel like reminiscing?

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Talking to others

December 24th, 2010by john.doe

Have any of you ever tried to persuade one of your friends or relatives that it would be best if you were dead?

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Sing me to sleep

December 24th, 2010by ciano

My story? I should be happy, mid 40s, a job I like, no money problems but deeply deeply unhappy inside. A failed relationship and overdose attempt 3 years behind me, no children. My problem from as far back as I can remember is an inability to trust others. Not blessed with a naturally outgoing personality I struggle in social situations. I can put on an act for a while but inside I have thoughts of mistrust, negativity and paranoia. A nicotine addict and negative self confidence.
Lonliness now drags me toward the edge and I plan a peaceful end sometime in early 2011. I have read …

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a lost life

December 24th, 2010by allen

Why did you leave me

you plucked the last light
that shone life for me
dimmed my last
glimmer of hope

YOu cast me into the deepest of
the coldest of pits

YOu veiled my days with darkness
and bind my life with gloom
and despair

when you left you took
the very essence of my spirit
with you.
the meaning of my existence

you shattered my dreams and
thrust me into an eternal

You placed a curse on me
to walk the earth in torment
to search for that which could not be found anymore
for love that was unreachable
for the one precious thing
that I could not find in another
but only in you.

my days became …

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December 24th, 2010by emmer

Hi everyone.  I’m sort of new to this site and I was recently contacted by Suicideistheonlyway97.  I noticed she was recently in the hospital after a suicide attempt, and she told me yesterday that she would try again today.  I have been trying to reach her and I can’t, so I was wondering if anyone has heard from her or if anyone who has her email could try to get to her.  She’s only 13 🙁

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Merry ****ing Xmas

December 24th, 2010by waterfallofpaint

It’s Christmas again. And what have you done? Another year wasted. A new one still to come.

32 years. I can remember the past dozen. Some were ok. Everything that was fun is just a bitter memory of the past. With an unlikelyhood that things will get better. So I’m hiding in my room again. Like a god-damn teenager, but I can no longer blame it on hormones. Now it’s just *me*.

I’m educated, rich enough and slightly underweight. Not particularly attractive. My family is kind and mildly successful without being conceited.

“I never let on, that I was on a sinking ship”

Noone has contacted me …

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MERRY christmas?

December 24th, 2010by hattie

i used to look forward to this day for weeks. i used to get excited and be over caring and friendly (because your meant to at christmas i guess) but what was it all worth, if now christmas feels like just another day in the sad lonely life of a teenager.

now that all those good christmas’ are dead and gone, all that they have achieved is giving me a memory, and great memory, and a memory that makes this christmas so much worse.

they say every cloud has a silver lining. but what if i dont want the fucking silver lining or the cloud. cant i …

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to talk

December 24th, 2010by thad1991

hey everyone its me again i have improved. i know myself better now but the problem is it now seems  since i am satified with myself i find that i am not with others. no one understands me. they think im simple and just meander threw life. but the fact is i am intellecual. i think about almost everything life, love etc.. i am a 19 year old single guy in an area with bitches for girls and tools for guys. if anyone wants to talk my email is i can use a different person to talk to.

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Christmas Magic

December 24th, 2010by Violet Blake

Do you remember when you were a kid and the idea of Santa driving a sleigh through the sky around the entire world through only one night being pulled by nothing but flying reindeer made your eyes light up with wonder?

I do, because it was the only time during the whole year when my mind could focus on something other then the fact that my childhood had been ruined by a rapist; it was the only time where I still believed magic existed.

Every year it was the same, I would stay up as late as I could just waiting to hear Santa’s sleigh up on …

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A ‘funny’ Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2011 greetings from me

December 24th, 2010by niki

It’s funny that despite of all shitty earthly Life’s struggles, observing of how humans still always trying their best to uplift their short life’s moods and atmosphere surrounding the Christmas season and celebrating upcoming new year in their life.

It’s funny of how despite all the damn shitty Life struggles, humans still try to gather around together with their family, or friends,…..even here online in this blue site, everyone is still communicating with each other. It might even means a lot, even though it’s just a very simple, small thing (just like the wise saying: “Life’s happiness & worth often can be found in the very …

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