I cant seem to stop cutting i dont want to cut but i just feel like i need it. Its the only thing that calms me down and keeps me from doing something much worse but i dont wanna do it anymore i just dont know how.
I am just so sick of it all. I am in so much debt from college that I do not even know what to do. Unless I can pull a miracle I will have debt collectors hounding me. I really see no light at the end of the tunnel.
I am completely unable to concentrate on my work because I am completely unable to stop thinking about the blade in my purse and the things i want to break and the cuts i want to make and the blood i want to spill and the pills i want to find and take and and and and and i feel like i am going completely insane and i don’t care about anything at all except for hurting myself. Â i can’t even concentrate on DBT skills which I promised to practice. Â i can’t concentrate on anything. Â i just want to hurt myself–with pills with knives with […]
I’m already dead… there is no life left in me…. my boyfriend hasn’t talking to me in a week. and i need him the most right now… I’ve been getting lots of head aches so i take advil… but i always take one more pill then needed… i know this probably isn’t a good thing… but i just want all this pain to go away.
i went to see my counsellor today.. we talked about how i have been feeling. i finally was able to tell her how I’m in so much emotional pain and i just want it to go away!
my mom and sister fought […]
1. i have CAPD (central auditory processing dissorder)
2. im bipolar
3. im bulimic
4. i cut myself everyday
5. im highly suicidal
6. the principal is like my best friend
7. i have no friends
8. i hide who i really am
9. im totally weird! haha!
10. i have a bf..
11. im not a virgin (of course ive been hurt a lot)
12. ive been raped 8 times
13. my family hates me
14. i was almost bullied to death
15. i almost commit suicide at school but the principal saved me
16. i wish i was beautiful
17. i wish i […]
the truth about me is that i try my hardest to be someone im not. if i were to go in school right now wearing what im wearing now (leggings, skirt, sweater) people would beat me up and make fun of me. instead i go in there wearing hollister and fancy rich people clothes. i feel kinda stupid when i walk down the hall, and this girl comes up to me and says this (one example) “you know youd look WAY better with a bag over your head right!?” me: “i dont know..” Girl: “well its true!!!” *walks away laughing with her 5 best friends* […]
i’m missing only one thing in my life, its to find love and all that mushy crap i could hone4stlty say then that iu a m happ;yu. i could honesry say i really amn hwsappy//// butt i never will be, andf never will i gert a girlk.
I was talking a few people on here the other night, and it set me thinking that maybe I could make a massive difference when my time is up…
At the moment suicide has a negative stigma attached to it, with the stereotype of the highly emotional, desperate victim making a final call for help. This may also be why it affects so many friends and relatives as they feel guilty they missed this cry for help before it was too late. Lets look at the other other side, the rational unemotional decision that you should be able to control at least one thing in your […]
Okay, so, I’ve been diagnosed with depression for just over four years now, and frankly I’m getting a bit tired of it all. My friends simply do not have the capacity to understand. I, an eighteen year old girl, cannot stand my own reflection. I have created this smiling persona, which serves its purpose of falsely leading the people around me to believe that I am ‘okay’, who is able to get all A’s at A Levels, but actually, I couldn’t give a shit. But maybe that’s the fluoxetine speaking? A few grades can’t make me want to live any more than the monotonous personalities […]
have a doctors appointment regarding my mental health. usually feel worse after them, from crying in front of the doctor, and feeling ashamed. I wanna not care what they think?
I suppose I suffer from what a psychiatrist would call a classic case of depression.
I’m not stupid. I know that life can suck at times for everyone, but THIS is getting out of control.
I have a TON of things ‘going’ for me; at least in the sense of having what MOST Â people consider ‘successful’…
A great, well-paying job, money in the bank, etc…but it doesn’t mean DICK to me…
I wake up every morning wanting to just simply be DEAD. This life thing is a cruel joke & I just want it OVER.
I’m already on Xanax b/c of my anxiety attacks -which are bad enough- but I just […]
I’m not too sure what to do anymore. Nights are the worst for this constant depression, days aren’t too bad because if i’m at work I don’t have time to think about them. I have to wear long sleeves at work though, weather it be hot or cold out just because  my scars and cuts make me a little insecure. But that’s not bad. Just lately, it’s been getting worse. I do NOT want to kill myself. I mean, I think it would just make all the pain go away but i want to see what live has to show me. I’ve been thinking lately […]
It feels like such a monumental task to explain everything that got me to where I am today. I simply don’t have the energy to write it right now, if ever. I don’t know.
Lately I’ve just been letting the days go by, I keep hoping something good will happen and change the current situation I’m in. I’ll explain the tip of the iceberg.
On February 20th, my best friend named jackie was supposed to video chat with me that night. We had just gotten off a stressful video chat during my lunch break that day. A few […]
It’s 3:00 AM, I’m laying in bed. Thoughts running around my mind, can’t sleep. Nothing new there. One thing keeps replaying though, a dream of my parents trying to explain to my little brother and sister why their big brother decided to take his life.
Why can’t I get rid of these thoughts? Why does my life seem so unbearable? There are so many more who are worse off than I am.
Why am I so miserable?
Currently on the phone with my boyfriend about to kill myself…we just got into a big arguement. After breaking up numerous times in the past couple months, we decided that since we’re dating now, we’d keep it secret. In order to keep guys from hitting on me, i put on facebook that im in a relationship..he never put that he was in a relationship on his facebook though. So i decided to take it down after a day because i felt like people thought iw as lying about having a boyfriend. He got upset really fast and started being rude. The rudeness eventually led to […]
What kind of vows are out there aside from marriage vows?
I understand that there are common-law marriages wherein a couple lives together for a certain time and are then deemed married although they’d never taken any legal action to certify the marriage.
I understand that there can be a vow between any two people or any number of people(e.g. I vow to do…)
So, what makes one vow stronger or more acceptable than the others?
A friend of mine recently argued to me that a breakup that I’d gone through could not compare to the troubles(a temporary separation) in his marriage. He went on to list everything he’d […]
I actually kind of enjoyed school today. Â Studying with classmates– I could almost pretend I had friends. Â And being playfully teased by a cute girl? Â I think I actually blushed.
But then I go home and the reality that I don’t really have any friends is inescapable. Â And I’m sure I’m too crazy for any girl to like me.
But I don’t think there’s a good way for me to go on living. I feel horrible all of the time. I’ve seen enough doctors, therapists, and social workers to populate a small country. I don’t see any future for me. I don’t even have any dreams to hang on to. I don’t have any friends either. I’ve spent two weeks in the hospital. It made things worse.
It is sad when happy people die; if only we could trade places so that they could go on living.
I’m young. I hate it when older people complain that my generation feels entitled to more than we deserve. […]
Teas gone cold, im wondering why I got out of bed at all
With all them rainclouds out my window
I cant see at all
Even if i could, it would all be gray
but your picture on my wall, it reminds me that its not so bad
its not so bad at all
The blood flows from my arms
You cry and tell my that I need to stop
You don’t understand.
This is what keeps me alive.
This proves I’m still human deep down.
This shows me I can still bleed, that I can still feel.
The razor is my best friend now.
He never judges.
He’s there when I need him.
He let’s me take my feelings out.
It’s not healthy it’s what makes you right.
This makes me right.
No matter how sick and twisted it sounds, its what keeps me sane.
If the price to pay is a little blood and […]