It has officially been one year since I could stand to look at myself in the mirror. I don’t even know who i have become, on the inside or on the outside. It had been a year since I felt purely happy. I’m not sure if I can face a whole year again.
I’m 15 years old. My parents are divorced and have been since i was 2. My dad cheated on my mom with my now step mom. My mom remarried when i was 14. Ever since i was about 5 and started gymnastics, my step mom didn’t like me. She never actually told me that, but she hit me over and over so i could tell. She’s hit me with her fist, a book, a chair, and a belt.She has even threatened to stab me with a knife.
My stepdad sexually abused me multiple times around age 8. The nights i stayed at my moms house and was […]
I am a Schizophrenic Depressed Sociopathic Psychotic Hateful Hated person, i feel like nothing good has happened to me in almost a year and i am lossing hope every day i sit in my kitchen with a knife shaking and crying i have no idea what to do other than the obvious. my therapist is an idiot my school is full of people with an IQ equivalent to their shoe size and all that is good in my life is my kitty but the suicidalism is still seeping through and is getting worse and worse and worse and i dont know how much longer i […]
This has no specific age range but is directed more towards those who have not yet been free to make their own decisions.
I want everyone who wants to to live. Especially you my little brothers and sisters. Because you have not yet been able to live your own lives. Have not yet been able to freely choose anything outside the limits placed on you and the strong influences upon your minds and emotions. From your posts many of you have an amazing and solid grasp on life and that would be wasted by you dying and not being able to enrich yourselves with your talents.
Many […]
Hi boys and girls, my name is Nathan. I suck and fail at life. I hate this bullshit, i’ve been struggling with this life for so long. I’m just 21 go to university, i’m studying to become an elementary school teacher. My intelligence is too low to get something higher than that. When i was little i was planning to become a doctor, i dreamed about being so many things but God made me a loser, he didn’t gave me a talent and that’s why no one is interested in me. I fail in everything but the worst is that my lack of talent is not the only reason, […]
For what is love? You will think i’m cynical, but aren’t we all. For me love is bitter and twisted, it plays cruel sick jokes on you. It give’s you something you have wanted all your life and then it rips it away from you. I say this because I have been in eternal bliss of love and have it ripped away from me by death. Love, you bitter, twisted, cruel, sick, kind genourous person are horrible and lovely at the same time. You are kind and funny, but cruel and bitter. For you, Love, You are sweet on the outside, but sour and bitter […]
i am thirteen years old. I feel so wrong and depressed. I don’t know why. I just do. The only person thats ever truly cared about me has gone away. I have no one. No support. No nothing. I come home from school and cry my eyes out everyday. I don’t like doing this, but I can’t seem to change anything. As hard as I try I just turn out to be miserable at the end of the day. I want to kill myself. I have tried, only once. I was just so sick of being nothing to anyone. I still am. Everyday I fantasize […]
So my last post here was this one
http://suicideproject.org/2011/11/tonights-the-night-i-guess/
Long story short, after writing that, I waited until midnight, walked out to the Golden Gate Bridge, looked over the railing, and got ready to jump. I waited until midnight because I didn’t want anyone to actually see me die, and I know that security around there tends to watch out for any potential jumpers. Anyways, so I’m standing there, trying to talk myself into finally ending it all, when some bicyclist on the other side of the bridge yells over “Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!”. Or something to that effect anyways.
I looked over at him, […]
I got the suggestion of having one day of being completely truthful and to be honest…I couldn’t do it. I’m scared of what people think of me and how they will react. I know I should only care about what I think of myself but I don’t and to be honest, who does? So I’ll be honest here, I’m going to vent and say some things that I’ve never told anybody. So I guess here goes nothing:
I lost the love of my life a little over a year ago because I was stupid and screwed up the whole relationship.
I don’t believe in true love anymore […]
~Arthur Schopenhauer on Suicide ~
Studies In Pessimism Full Article
“In my chief work I have explained the only valid reason existing against suicide on the score of mortality. It is this: that suicide thwarts the attainment of the highest moral aim by the fact that, for a real release from this world of misery, it substitutes one that is merely apparent. But from a mistake to a crime is a far cry; and it is as a crime […]
“oh what a delight, a day at the zoo,
seeing the sights, i love the zoo
stay by the mungkhees an hour or two
people watching because people are brutes”
These words keep running through my mind. I wrote them and have read them over and over and listened to the recording over and over so maybe that is the reason that I can’t let go of the words. But I’m here, wondering about hullucinations. I’ve never mistaken a hallucination for reality (except when I think an event has occured, but it only has in a dream) but I think I’m seeing and hearing voices.
Could just […]
I spent most of my math class trying not to cry. Â of course, that means I only waited until I got home. Â and now, I don’t even know what to do with myself. Â I have plenty of school work to do or catch up on, but I just can’t do it right now. Â I can’t function right now. Â and no one even notices. Â My so-called friends don’t bother to talk to me. Â I’m lucky if they respond to my e-mails or texts at all. I don’t want to try anymore. Â I’m so tired of trying, and it just gets worse and worse. Â I had to […]
There are more dead people than living. And their numbers are increasing. The living are getting rarer.
To die will be an awfully big adventure.
Death As a dark Shadow Beckons his prey Into the unknown By a soft whisper In the soul
In every shadow a light
In every tear a smile
In death I know there is still life that lingers for a while.
Death is just a chapter of a book that never ends.
Thank you for readin
Five months later and I’m back at square one.
Jump or don’t jump?
I fear making mistakes.
I fear disappointing my mother.
I fear life beyond campus.
I fear not being able to repay student loans.
I fear the inevitable graduation.
I fear making choices.
People keep telling me that life is precious. Life is what you make it. But what good is life if you don’t know what to make of it?
They call me selfish. Suicide is selfish. You have no right to end your life.
Hypocrites.
I’m sick of the uncertainty. I’m sick of the fear. Why should I live for others? It’s pointless; they all die in the end. So no matter […]
One pearly day in early May
I walked upon the sand
And saw, say half a mile away,
a man with gun in hand.
A dog was cowering to his will
as slow he sought to creep
Upon a dozen ducks so still
they seemed to be asleep.
When like a streak the dog dashed out,
the ducks flashed up in flight.
The fellow gave a savage shout
and cursed with all his might.
Then as I stood somewhat amazed and gazed with eyes agog,
With bitter rage his gun he raised and blazed and shot the dog.
You know how dogs can yelp with pain;
its blood soaked in the sand,
And yet it crawled to him again,
and tried to […]
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
but i have promises to keep
and miles to go before i sleep
and miles to go before i sleep…..                 Robert Frost
I must sound foolish and stuff but I am 13 years old. I am very suicidal and emo and i do cut myself. I honestly do not see what my purpose in life is.. All my friends have betrayed me and all my enemies have overcome me.. The lies have become reality.. My family ignores my existence.. I will not go on.. I have been bullied for many years…but when i tell my parents.. my dad yells that im a ***** and my mother ignores me.. my grandparents hate me..i’ve been mollested 4 times.. 2 by a cousin, 1 time by a man and 1 time […]
My name is Taylor. I’m 17 years old. And I’m ready to go…Â Â I’ve been bullied since I was 9. And even before that I always had trouble making friends. I have Asbergers Syndrome, and thus its painfully hard for me to talk to people. I’ve been to about 11 schools. I kept dropping out and going switching schools. I couldn’t handle the bullying. But the thing is, even though the setting changed the story never did. I always got picked on and left out. Id come home crying everyday. In 9th grade the bullying hit a peak. I went to a small private school then, […]
I’m S. I suffer with bipolar disorder. I was bullied all through school and had trouble making friends. I was raped when I was six then again at 12 after which I attempted suicide. I grew up with a perfect family. I have always been extremely close to my mam, dad and sisters. Last year I found out my dad is not my biological father when someone emailed me saying that I’m there sister. I now have 7 new brothers and sisters and a biological father who is currently in rehab. My family hasn’t changed but I haven’t coped with it I’ve just pushed it […]
Do you see how you you have hurt me? I wonder when you are up there if it makes you laugh or if it makes you cry. Oh girl, when you were alive my world was an endless bliss, but now it seems so bleak and empty. Why did you die was it something I did i feel like a colourful canvas which has been washed clean to show complete darkness. I would rip the whole world apart just to spend one more minute in your embrace. Why did you kill yourself? You leave a note saying it is not my fault but then why […]