I feel the way I feel because I feel nobody loves me butt it I probably not true at all I just now made this because I have to tell Simone guess how old I am? Ian only 13 and my parents are probably going to break up it I manly because of all of the stress going on in all of our family like from my dads side of the family everyone one of his sisters just broke up with each other so there children are staying with us and they just cry and cry and cry one is 13 months old he crys […]
Dear Daddy,
When I was a little girl I always looked up to you. You protected our family like no other. I will admit, I have always been frightened by you. Sometimes when you get mad, it’s really scary. When we went through everything with Taylor, that was hard. It was really hard on me and no one realized it. Do you even remember how you kept dragging me into your argument the night she was kicked out? That night has scarred me for life. You know what Daddy, in the past year I have done bad things. I have done things I regret. I wish […]
Okay, So I’m 15 years old and my depression all started near the end of summer. It all started a few days after my girlfriend decided to take a break. Just for a week. I lasted about 2 days, Then I gave her a choice. Get back together or never be together again….She told me her friend said that she shouldn’t have to choose if I really loved her. Well She couldn’t have been anymore wrong. I went on with my normal day after that, Got high, ate, then chilled with some friends. After the high wore off I started feeling lonely. I then turned […]
I have an obsession with darkness. In the dark or at night there is a calmness. Something you can’t see or touch. But it is there. Of course nights are also filled with pain. With the realization that the loneliness is never ending. I sometimes dread the night. Knowing I will be forever alone. Lost in the darkness. No comfort. No solutions. Just lost and alone throughout eternity. This isn’t a life. This is a curse.
Im going to start wearing t-shirts again. If they kids at school see my wrist I don’t care, they can judge me all they want. But it won’t mean anything to me. Especially sense they don’t know my story.
I’m going to try to love life again. Tho I know it will be hard and I will still cry myself to sleep a lot. I’m going to try
I am starting the butterfly project again… Hopefully I can do it this time.
-Morgan…..RawrImaTurtle!
I’ve never been abused. Never been neglected. I’ve never failed. I have graet co-workers and a loving family (though quite overbearing @ times).
I was bullies in every grade! Where was the publicity and outcry then???
I cry myself to sleep every night. Who hears me?
I hurt any second I am not actively ingaged in conversation with somebody. Who notices?
Why is suicide a bad thing for chronic depression? It’s not a phase in my life… I’ve been this way since I was 5. I’ve been on meds. I’ve seen a couselor. Why should I suffer every morning knowing I have to face another day. Why? Because people […]
I was beautiful.
I was light.
I was in full control.
I could resist everything.
I loved their whispers, their stares.
I was faster than everyone.
I was not injured.
I was not broken.
I was not torn, or shattered.
I did not limp.
I could do what needed to be done.
I was smart.
I was confident.
I could ignore that voice.
I still loved him.
I did not love him.
I had cheekbones, collarbones, shoulder blades, ribs, wrist bones, knees.
I had everything.
Now I can’t even control my brain.
I’m not fast.
I’m not light.
I’m not who I should be.
Everything […]
I messed up my life at 7 years old. I learned what everything a adult thought of was, and my parents were getting divorsed. My mom hit my dad, and they always cussed eachother out in front of me. We were in the car once, my brother opened the door and was SO close to jumping out. he was leaning out of the car. If we hadn’t pulled him in, we would have seen him dead on the highway. we were screaming, and the one who didn’t help pull him back in was my mom. she yells at us, and nearly killed my dad. My […]
Every night is the worst night of my life, every night I promise myself that tomorrow will be the day I end it, but every time I get distracted or just back out. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t handle another night of pain
i cant stop….i want to die i might as well i really cant see the light…. anymore
Looking out sky, lonely night… so many stars, and full moon.
I just realized I’m just a dot on the earth… nothing but a very tiny dot.
Even if I’m not breathing tomorrow.
This World will still go on fine without me.
Can’t bear the pain of being so despised, by the people I need to give me strength. Antidepressants don’t work, have been taking them for years. I get admitted to hospital, and get pumped full of drugs, I am ok for while but then, again I am kicked down into the hole for another year. They tell me I’m being indulgent, but I just want to hide from the world. Have become a hermit, can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t drive or go to the shop. 15 years in the hole is unbearable. I don’t believe it’s a medical issue, but the only response to the […]
Hey, I’m a 17 year old dude looking for some advice from normal people. I feel hopeless. I am a misanthrope and hate pretty much everyone. I have no hope for the human’s survival. We kill everything we come across, destroy the world given to us, and even kill our own. I’ve been trying to look on the bright side and be an optimist, then I realize there are none. I do not feel close to my family and do not wish to speak to them. I have plenty of friends but I do not feel like speaking to them about this either. Everyday seems […]
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I’ve done worse….
-Morgan…..RawrImaTurtle! 🙁
go to work
go to my moms house
take care of my brother
get high
go to sleep
rinse/repeat
weekend!!!!!!!!
take care of my brother
get high
go to sleep
I do other things but…. I’m sitting here willing myself to get up and go back to my moms house for the evening but I just can’t. Even if I had my own apartment again, it’s all so unsatisfying. I want.. i dunno. A woman? That doesn’t sound right but I’m sure it’s what my body wants. My mind is the problem. My body is healthy and fit.. my mind just doesn’t want. Doesn’t want anything, […]
Hello to everyone reading my post. I only have two more days that I am able to access my computer, so please share any thoughts you would like. I will not be offended. I lost my fiance to his choice of the exit bag on September 15th of 2011. I was completely blindsided as we were happy and making plans. I woke up to police calls, investigations, and a lot of texts from him declaring his everlasting love. The funny thing is I was always the destined one to go, I believe in a life for a life, and would have gladly given mine. He was […]
can i go to sleep and never wake up? can i stay in my dream land forever and never return to reality??
-Morgan….RawrImaTurtle
The time has come, the 11.30 train will be here soon and then i will have to face my fear
Being alone for ever
I hate who I am. What I have become. I see nothing worth saving.
I am lazy. I am a whore. I am not worthy.
I don’t need anyone telling me that I am because If I don’t believe then those words are just a waste of energy.
If I could overdose without risking it not working I would. I’m so tired.
This demon deep within me. I can feel it coming out again. All I want is to be high out of my mind all day everyday. That or just kill myself. I was all about being clean but now I just don’t care and can’t wait to get my hands on some drugs. Well in a few days I’ll be trippin so I am waiting for that day to come. Then I’ll decide if drugs will be enough or not even worth bothering with again. I don’t know where this is all coming from. I was getting so much better. I was happy to be […]