The happiest day of my life is when i ODed on ibprophens and i thought i was dead i stayed sleep for two days straight only to wake up in the hospital
I hate that my mom walk around this house everyday and act as though she dont see the pain on my face,as though she dont know i desire to die,as if she dont know that this act is all a lie,and as if she dont wont me to leave
A week from today, I will end my life. I have known for better than 20 years that my end would come by my own hand. Now it is time. While I am both heart-broken and depressed, I also realize that I no longer have the capacity to contribute to the world at large, much less to those I love, in any meaningful way. I’ve known for roughly five years that the confluence of events over the course of my now 46 years were heading in this direction. I’ve sunk ever so slowly into a situation that makes my ability to continue, impossible.
A month ago, […]
Hi,
For use with a balloon time helium tank as found in (e.g.) Asda, where can I source an appropriate flow regulator in the UK? I don’t want to pay for one from Exit and also have to wait weeks for it to arrive. Is there a specific and suitable regulator that can be bought somewhere in the UK?
Then, the tubing. What is the required size / type / connection and where can I buy it in the UK?
Many thanks.
Ok, so next week, I have two major exams. And I’m terrified. Sitting in the same place for at least an hour and a half with so many people surrounding and staring at me, OCD has just made it worse, what with fullstop routines and my fear of writing in pen, which I have to do for the exams. I obviously don’t want to fail but my mind is telling me that I will.
I know that I wont be able to use a pen.
I have also developed a major fear of death, which is weird for a suicidal person… I basically think about it all […]
i need to keep busy because every time I’m not I’m more sad and i only think of how I’m gonna be alone forever…
kayso… I’ve told you guys about my break up… it was on january 2nd and ever since that night i cry myself to sleep every night…
theres two other guys….they both like me.. but also live far away… and i know i like them… but it hurts to admit it becuz i feel so guilty… i miss my boyfriend so much…. and they other two guys are trying to cheer me up and make me happy…. and it works… but as soon […]
i’m staring at this blank page waiting to type something but ii have no idea what but i have so much to tell about..so i guess i’ll just start telling.
I’m a girl 15 and last year i tried to commit suicide by cutting my wrists,I survived . I have scars on my wrists and thigh,i used to had more but they fade away, I did a lot of self-harm cuz that was the only way i could feel some relief.My mother heard me cry almost every night,she saw my scratches  on my arm but didn’t do anything about it.I’ve tried many times to tell them […]
im alwayz hopeless and even though ive got a lot of friendz i hav no1 2 talk 2 when i need
My Sister was tailking about when I got sexual abused. She keeps on taunting me. So I just hit her and we was fighting and the street. The neighbors had too break us up. My mom wasn’t here but if she was she would’ve yelled at my sister. Well my sister been making fun of me ever since I was young but since she live and my house I cant avoid her are what she says.
It’s been so long.
Yet here I am, back where I started.
I can’t believe that a person could say this to me, with the knowledge that my brother is austistic…
“Respecting retards isn’t respectful. putting them out of their misery and doing them a favor, however… is.”
With that one sentence; that person has hurt me in every way possible.
He could have called me every name in the book: whore, dyke, ****, slut, *****, etc. and I wouldn’t have cared.
But having the balls to say that to me…to my brother…someone he doesn’t know….
How could someone say that?
How can they sleep at night knowing that by saying that they […]
Everyone who has ever encouraged to to keep living are just plane old shelfish how could you want someone that you see suffering so bad to stay alive people may call me selfish because im only thinking about myself but why cant i everybody else is i just want to curl up somewhere and die a lady once told me that she didnt like people like me because her son is fighting to live while im fighting to die you know what i told here ill prey harder for me and her son to switch places because if i was […]
Life the hound
the equivocal
comes to me at a bound
either to rend me
or to befriend me
I don’t know his intentions
till he jumps at my bare hand
with teeth or tongue
meanwhile I wait for the event
——————————————————
I like this poem,because it expresses my feelings of anxiety
and apprehension.I just wish I knew the poet who made it.
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I…?Â
Insecure
Self destructiveÂ
Afraid to grow up
Nervous
Delusional
Crazy
SchizophrenicÂ
Proud
Dissociative
DilapidatedÂ
Narcissistic
Misaligned
Inoperable
Anorexic
FailureÂ
DisappointedÂ
Nostalgic
ConflictedÂ
Non-committed
Addicted
Afraid
Fearless
Normal
Perfect
Relentless
Depressed
Suicidal
Genius
Mad
Insane
I am!
There is something wrong with me!
I want to be committed to cure my ailments. I am of clear thought of body and mind for all pertinent matters. My fear of seeking help is loss of respect from my family, social status, future, but most of all, my 2nd amendment right to bare arms. I shall stand naked holding my weapon of choice and I will […]
I feel like I make the same mistakes over and over again. I don’t learn. I hurt those who are closest to me, then I push them away to protect myself. It is a constant ongoing cycle. More than anything in the world I want to feel close to someone. I want someone to know what a broken mess I am, and still accept me. It’s just not in the cards for me. Three years nearly to the day since I’ve felt like this. I wish I could cry, but I’ve spent a long time coaching myself not to and now that I’d like to […]
Okay so i woke up thinking today wad going to be a good day i got up went to work out with my mom but i left my phone in the car so at the end we left and i checked my text messages and my boy friend texted me and said that i have to much going on in my life and that he wanted to break up so i tried to call him and he didnt answer whhy are all the people that i thuoght was really close to me leaving me i cant help who i am trust me if this […]
It a bit hard to sum up ones failures in life in a quick way however I will try my best; thanks to everyone that reads it,
Basically I was abused and neglected emotionally as a child sometimes physically- my mom tried her best to make me as wimpy as possible as she is a social retard who attacks and sabotages her children when ever she can and will attack anyone displaying any sort of healthy self esteem, she’s also a drug addict although not a ‘hard’ one a medicated and tobacco one. I have no idea why she does this and she has a completly […]
Why can’t I fucking sleep
Well I didn’t smoke today! So I felt Mad and sad today. I was about to smoke with this 18 year old men but I just went in the house! I tried very hard to turn it down. I love weed and very addicted to it. When I smoke my self-esteem goes up. I don’t know why but i always had low self-esteem ever since I was real young. When I don’t smoke I’m very angry and sad and when I think about when I was sexual abuse tears comes down my eyes. Snap Shots Comes in my head of me giving boys oral at […]
Today had been a rather uneventful day. It was long, boring and full of drama only known to those who remain in schooling. Started off ok, but the abysmal ending left me in tears. It started off with my friends and I going to the plaza to find some thing to eat and just look around. At six or so, a group of guys we didn’t know started to flirt with me and my friends. They asked us to go out with them. We had said no and walked away. We bumped into them later and found ourselves getting followed around the place. We tried […]