I don’t know what’s wrong with me. The past years i’ve wanted to commite suicide. I would sit around and think about how I could do it, or when i could. And i’d think about what would happen, and where’d i go. And i’d think about all the things i haven’t got to experience in my life yet. I’d always change my mind. Sometimes i go get a towel and wrap it around my neck and try to chock myself but i never can force myself do “it”.  I just don’t get why i have these thoughts. Also when im angry, i punch myself in the legs […]
I want to kill myself so badly I’ve tried before but my dad stopped me I wish he hadn’t. It would be so easy to do it the second time around, just slit my wrist right down the middle and bleed out completely numb and finally at peace. But I feel like, with my luck, as soon as I kill myself I’ll get accepted into the school I want James will finally fall in love with me but it will be too late because I’m dead and I’ll get called in for a interview for this job I want. But if I […]
I’m going to skip the big intro and get to the important stuff…I own a crime and trauma scene cleaning company so on a daily basis I deal with people going through the worst times in their lives. Every day in day out I see first hand what suicide does to families and friends, neighbours, colleagues and so on. No matter what you may be thinking there are people who care about you. Your actions will forever change the lives of every single person you know even some people you don’t. Suicide is a permanent solution to your temporary problem. You never know what the […]
when is it time for me to get something i want. not to sound conceited but i do tend to give and give…well i try and i rarely… id like to say never get any sort of respect in return…. whatever. push me away. in the end i wont be suffereing anymore.
I have been planning my own death for a few weeks now. Carefully deciding which method is best. I think I have the perfect solution now.
There have been several reasons to lead up to this decision. The main one I want to share with you and you may judge me but I hope this will at least change someone’s mind along the way. Instead of spending Christmas by myself I should have been celebrating the my child would be born on February 2nd, 2012. But this past June I chose to have an abortion because I was not happy at that moment in my relationship […]
I feel like everything is my fault. My ex cheated on me, and i felt like it was my fault, i told her that and she agreed it was my fault. Even things that have absolutely nothing to do with me, i blame myself. I hate it, and there is nothing i can do to make myself not think that. I hate hurting people, i hurt so many people all the time. I love helping people, and i feel like im someone people can go to to talk about things with, and id always be there for people. but i feel like i hurt more […]
I WILL LIVE THROUGH THIS? i want only honest people to answer. How do you live through everyday pains. Good advise please..
You awake in a room
The fires blazing hard
Biting you with the intensity of their heat
The world comes crashing down in flames
The room begins to crumble
Sealing you within it’s fate
Trapping you inside
Burning you alive
There’s no way out
You find that it’s the end
The flames sore higher
The heat increases
You sware you can feel
Skin on your face
Begining to melt away
Burning from the bone
It’s over, it’s over, it’s over…
It’s time to fade away
Silence your screams for help
Bathe yourself within flames
Feel your soul being ripped from your body
The pain will end,
When […]
I didn’t even get to see my own father for Christmas this year. And not because he was in jail this time but because he’d rather spend it with his girlfriend and probably with her kids. I’m so pissed off because of this. We aren’t close but I like seeing him even if we don’t say much or do much together. It’s always just nice to get to see him since I only get to a few times a year. I guess at least I get to, right? I’m just hurt and feel like he didn’t want to spend time with me. That’s why I’m […]
half heartedly i name the things
you suggested to me
somewhat in consideration but
in the back of my mind this just isnt right
the stars are too bright too clear
i dont want to see whats happening
yeah sure write what you want
the weekly apology
try to invest in me
have a morning glass of gasoline
have an afternoon light
when a break from bad luck is right
life leads you through a bad scene
focus only on whats happening
don’t forget details are the key
ever since i chose what i chose
i have antarctic bones
real love is a daydream
absent from reality
i cant seem to find it within me
not anyone except for you
can give it straight
bring it […]
If I like my body. If it really has any real use to me. Sure, I’m attractive.. At least that’s what people tell me. I’m thin but muscular and I’ve recently bleached my hair blonde.. Every contour of my body drives the men crazy… But is that it’s only use?
Is the purpose of my body to please others? Because it certainly doesn’t seem to please me. All I see are the scars.. All I feel is the feeling that my body is giving up. I don’t feed it properly.. I don’t necessarily take care of it. I smoke cigarettes and fill it up with drugs until it requires them […]
I’ve decided to end my life tonight. It’s been coming for a long time now.
People who say everything happens for a reason are full of it.
You’d think i’d have more to say, i mean this being my last chance at it. I have nothing incite full or wise to offer you, no wisdom before i go.
Life just really sucks.
I can’t deal anymore.
I leave my two baby girls behind, i hope the worlds gentler on them then it’s been on me.
I’m sorry girls. I did everything i could. You better take good care of em michelle
I’ve only been depressed this year. Â Extreme anxiety, a possible eating disorder. Everything at home is always fine, I watched the rest of my family enjoy Christmas dinner, while i was counting my calories and limiting food intake. It’s the bullying. I tried so hard to be happy, to enjoy Christmas. I LOVE Christmas. This year, I sit at the table with my head down. It’s honestly sad looking to me, Â I picture myself today and all I see is this girl looking depressed, ghostly pale skin, tired.
I would’ve never thought I’d ever been depressed. I’m different. What used to be a lively outgoing young […]
Hi all,
I am absolutely desperate to obtain ********. Â I’ve read the PPH, and am aware of the source mentioned therein; however, from what I’ve read in various discussion groups, this source is rather hit or miss.
Does anyone know of another source, perhaps within the U.S.?
I’ve thought of all the other methods (i.e., helium, etc.), but they’re not for me.
Thanks!
For about two weeks now I’ve experienced a loss of appetite. When I look at food, even foods I like, I have absolutely no desire to eat them. And I rarely get hungry. The thing is, I want to be able to eat. I don’t enjoy not eating. At first it was just a little annoying, nothing that even concerned me that much. I tried not to pay it any mind. That is until my mom said to me, “Your hands are so cold. Why aren’t you eating? I hope nothing is seriously wrong with you.”
That did it. She inceptioned, if you will, the […]
Then i’m gone. Then i’m gone. Then i’m gone.
That’s how i feel 99 percent of the time. I feel so alone. I hate bein alone. I hate it because I can think. And its bad when I think. Nothing good ever comes out of that, only scars and tears and bad thoughts. I feel like everyone is forgetting me. Why can’t I be normal and loved? Why did God have to put me in this place? I hate living and I wish I was dead. Nothing good ever happens so there is no point to it then. Why hurt when freedom is just on the other side? It doesn’t cost to die. And […]
I cut myself on Christmas. I didn’t think i will do it. When I realized, i was already wipping blood away and more appeared. It wasn’t deep enough to scar. It was just amazing in a scary way to see the red blood against my skin. Strangly, afterwards, I felt cold down to my bones. Like something is trying to burst out from my body and i vomited.
So much has happened today and I’m all very sick. Cold and tired. Life has somewhat become a stand-still. Nothing too bad, nothing good. It’s frightening that I’m getting used. Being alone, being useless. I sit all day at home, watching […]
I can feel the darkness fell my heart! I can’t see the warmth of Christmas after Losing you. I have felt this feeling before! My cancer is overcoming! At times I wish it would take me so my pain well stop! The one who gives me joy love. And happiness is gone. I love you Suzanne!