it’s not like I have had a bad life… nothing major has every happened to me but I have always felt kinda depressed and social awkward. I can’t go back to a time where I didn’t feel that way maybe in kindergarten but that would be it. I was never the smartest kid I’m my class an I sometimes needed extra help. I have been bullied and made fun of for years. probably starting in 1st grade till now as a senior… I went through so many stages but nothing really ever helped. I have absolutely tried everything I was anorexic on and off for […]
I think I will go with hanging. The most clique way to suicde if you dont ahve access to a gun. Especially if your underage.
Also I think my cousin Alex, brother of the beautiful Jasmine, has cancer. He told me that he spit out blood recently. I’m not sure if it was for attention since i have the sense of mind that I’m a bit of a higher level in depression than him due to being two years older. Anyways I am a bit worried since it will be at least a year before he dies from untreated cancer. Lots of pain through that […]
Well today, the place that said they have a replacement for my broken flow gauge misunderstood me and did not have the right one.
So Tuesday (tomorrow?) I will have to drive 80 miles round trip to a place that I know has what I want. My cup runeth over.
For a brief moment I thought about just running away and driving to a warmer state. I could take the money I had put aside for my cremation and use it to rent a U-Haul type truck one-way. Well that sucked; it would cost me about $2000 and that does not include gas. That is $500 more […]
What am I thinking? I’m only 12 and already I’m fed up with life? Not only do I want myself dead, but I want to hurt others too. I can’t tell my mom. She already knows I cut myself, She used to cut herself too. In fact she was anerexic. She took my knives and thought that would solve the problem. It didn’t. I think of how easy it would be to just put on a little more pressure than usuall…
I’m tired.. January 23rd… my 18th birthday… Your supposed to be happy right…? But now… I’m ready… I can”t live like this anymore… I’m doing it… Tonight’s the night… Goodbye…
I use to think that I wanted someone to see behind my mask.And now someone has seen through it but I can’t let them in,and this makes me reconsider everything about myself.How do I know what I want or who I am?I think I’ve put up my mask for so long that now I don’t know myself anymore.I want to find myself again,but how do I do it if I don’t know anything about the real me anymore.What’s the point of living if nobody not even you knows the real you.
Every once in a while, my mom notices I’m lazy and won’t even call my dad to pick me up. She says I am selfish that I dont do anything for anyone but myself. I believe I am. Im not sure who i am anymore. I feel uneasy and unsure about everything now. I don’t know why though. I think I’m bipolar, but a few months ago i thought i had insomnia cuz i didn’t sleep some of the time.
Now Im unsure again, my mood is a bit erratic or unsteady. But it might be that i play video games and become easily irritated and […]
Ok this is it. I’m leaving in about 2 hours, it is 5:46 am over here right now, i only slept about 4 hours. I’m jumping from a bridge. I waited way too long, i should have done it a long time ago.
It’s gonna take me about 20 hours to get there because the bridge is located on the other side of my country. I really can’t  wait to break free from this world and I really hope there is no afterlife. fuck life
bye guys
i hate how it always seems like the answers in life you need the most are always the ones they forget to answer….. always. nomatter what i get the wrong answer, i just want the truthes of life… not some shit a freak made up to make it all ok…. i just want some answers.
There has to be a difference between these two statements: “I want to die” and “I wish I weren’t alive. You know how I know? Because I can honestly say the second statement but cannot say the first. Well I can, but I don’t mean it. I know this because about a year ago (Around May) I ‘wanted to die’ so badly, and to my dismay, for the first time, (after roughly 7 years of being suicidal), I realized I couldn’t go through with it. Since that day, I daily wonder why that’s so. See, if I wanted to die, I would have made it […]
If what’s ahead scares you, what’s behind hurts you, just look above..He never fails to help you.
I like this guy… a lot… but he only wants me sexually. and it hurts so much.. people say i should just move on and forget about him, but i can’t.. i even do these sexual things with him becuz i can’t lose him.. and i feel thats the only way to keep him in my life…
i want to keep him in my life…. i can’t lose him… not after all the other people who have left me.. i wouldn’t be able to handle if anyone else left me…..
-Morgan
So earlier I qot discharqed from the hospital,It sucked!qo to sleep at nine?I’m not a little kid!!!One lady there was a completely b****!The person I was cool with was a thirteen year old that kept dick-ridinq me all the time.When I went to the restroom he’d hit the door,when I’m In my room he’d turn my liqht on and off.He tried to qet this qirl but he didn’t qet her cause he couldn’t flirt lol.He was very in-mature!but what do you expect from a thirteen year old riqht?When someone tell’s you that you need to qo to the hospital tell’em fuck that!IT only makes you […]
so where should i start im only 13 i know young everyone says that i am weird. Theres two or three girls especially they make fun of me they put their hands over their mouths say stuff while their looking at me and then laugh they make fun of everything i do and then they make fun of me for having friends in different grades. My parents are divorced ever since i was two they think i am fine with it but im not i cry when im alone. The girls think they are so nice and definitly not bullies they would deny it 24 […]
Today my friend came over and I went to the kitchen and when I came back I saw him on my laptop.He looked at me with a look of shock and he began crying why’ll repeating I’m sorry,so I ran over to him to see what was wrong.That’s when I noticed it,I had forgotten to log of my account on here and he  read my posts.When he calmed down he told me he would keep it a secret,but he wanted to help me.So I explained my feelings to him,but I could feel myself holding back and I know he could too because when he left he told […]
      for all th people who wonder were i am i am gone. i have seen a thousands hearts broken and i believe they were mostly mine. I have tried to look after people in need. i served my comunity as an EMT for 5 years and i felt good about saving people in their time of need. but for the past two years my life has fallen completely apart and their was know on to save me. people have hurt me and taken what they needed and left me to rott. the world is a comlpete hell and i cant be apart […]
i feel so depressed. especially because im at home. i dont have the one person i wish was with me. i saw her today(my best friend that is). my parents wanted me to go to the store with them, but this morning i told my mom i dont wanna go anywhere. and when they left i went right to her house. but i feel sooo bad for what did. i enable her. soo much. and i hate it. she is an addict. even though its hard for me to say that and it breaks my heart to know that. its true though. and i am […]
omy end has come. i have nothing to live for. i wish things were different. when the light goes out for the last time there will be one last smile on my faceface
today i watched a tv program that made me think…
it was about this girl who’s heart was broken… she wanted a cure. so she went to this guy, and made a deal. she traded a piece of her hair for a potion that would make her forget her loved one that broke her heart. she ended up drinking that potion the day her lover came back looking for her… the rumours spread that he was looking for her, but of corse she didn’t remember him. so this news meant nothing to her.
then the show ended… but I’ve recently had my heart broken.. I’m not […]