Suicide is all I think about… I just hate my life
within the next few days I’m gonna end it… I lost all ambition in life. nothing makes me happy any more… sick of living like this with social anxiety ‘ I’m always fucking nervous I can’t ever enjoy my time. January 6th is when I gotta do 2 months in jail. fuck that ain’t going back there to suffer even more. fuck the world. my time has come.
I hate myself so fucking much.
It’s quite hard.. to explain how much I hate the way I am.
And I hate my gorgeous, skinny, perfect friends too for saying that they are ugly.
Shut the fuck up.
I would honestly kill to look like them.
I am never happy with myself.
I can’t do anything right.
I’m ugly.
Fat.
Stupid.
Worthless.
Disgusting.
I just hate it.
Why was I given this body.
Why?
I miss the cutting so much.
It’s odd.
For a while.. I didn’t think about it.
I didn’t think about anything.
I was numb. But now..
It’s like a need.
I have anxiety attacks now.
I will start crying.
I need cutting.
Not burning.. nothing else.
Just cutting.
But I just can’t get a fucking blade.
Hello all, first apologizies for any typos, as am writing on my ipod. Anyway, well, I guess what brought me to this site is how sad and hopeless i feel. I’ve been struggling with depression since the age of 5; that was when I first had suicidal thoughts. My parents neglected meto the point of abandonment. After my father severely abused me, my mom and siblings we fled to my grandmother’s care. We were better but still faced poverty, hunger and chaos; along with my grandma lived my gangbanger cousin who brought drugs, sex and violence into our home and a schitzophrenic uncle who was […]
-stop smoking
-lose weight
-work on self esteem
-work on social anxiety
-stop cutting
anyone else?
I have a four year old brother and the last thing I want my death to do is leave a mess. There is a lake near my house and we have bricks left over from construction. I’m planning on drowning. I’ll leave a note though.
I’m just wondering if maybe anybody else has considered this.
I don’t want to end my life right now. But there was a time when I did. Twice, I came very close. I knew how I was going to do it both times. Neither time did I actually recall changing my mind, but instead realized at some point I’d decided not to. That was three years ago now, and I have not since come so close. But I’ve thought about it.
So here’s what I think-
Once you’ve thought about killing yourself (and I mean really thought about it, like planned it out and made […]
I want to die, hang myself.
The universe finally gave me a way out; a small vile full of insulin. Just a few more weeks, and I will finally get some sleep
For most of my childhood and adult life I have had enjoyable and pleasant dreams, however for the past twenty years I have not had one single good dream. I was told that I was probably having “good” dreams but forgetting them by the time I got out of bed. Ten years ago, I bought a small tape recorder and put it on the head of my bed so the moment that I woke up from a pleasant dream I could just reach up and grab it and record what I had dreamed.
I can tell you that for the past ten + years I have […]
DEAR COWARDS; the world aint/never will be full of full rainbows. Idgaf if it is for you, its dark clouds thunder and full of rain here. Im sick of the same old hoes. Im ten ffs, i shouldnt hate myself,cut myself,or hurt myself. BUT I DO. No i aint complainin, im better then that. Just keep in mind, you cowards give me hell
Ummm well I kinda am new.. I once on a while read the post in this page.. and I just wanted to say hi… I don’t really know what to post right now.. but all I can say is that I also have felt this feeling of unending sadness.. Ive committed suicide a number of times.. and never have achieved success. I still feel the same way about my life.. I wish to disappear not remember anything.. Yet for some reason Im still here. I do not feel happy, maybe Im contempt that its not gotten harder, my life. Well I just want to say […]
It wont be easy 2 fully finish this
Or 2 get rid of all my thoughts of my addictions.
I want 2 be done and be free.
I want 2 be happy and i will be.
i am strong and beautiful and will get threw this
now with his help and kisses and comfort
i am 1 step closer 2 being done.
Its a new year and i will start of clean……
I attepted suicide when i had just turned 14 in september… i wrote a song called no regrets and sent it to the one person who has always been there for me. he cried and prayed for me all night.. i was pronounced dead at 3:16 am for a duration of alost 18 minutes, they were able to revive me. the doctors said it was a miracle i survived… and now everytime i say hey to my one friend he says hey my little miracle <3 sadly i still want to die.. but luckily he’s still there for me!!
my dad is an alcoholic he’s been sober since before thanksgiving. This Christmas he started drinking. And has been since. I obviously hatE when he’s like that. Like why does he need to be drinking. Why does he need to start drinking. I hate him. He absolutely had an affect on me and made me how I am. I don’t even understAnd why he started drinking in the first place. I don’t remember him drinking when we still lived in lithuania. Its confusing to me. Its one of the reasons I hate being at home. Especially when he’s like that. Well all in all it […]
ive hurt and cut and overdosed and lots more im 14 and i hate my life everyone hurts me because of the stupid people sayin u have blue waffles yea wen it aint true
The consequences of today are determined by our thoughts & actions of the past. To change your future, alter your thoughts & actions today. There is never a better time then the present.
1.“Action is the foundational key to all success.†– Pablo Picasso
2.“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.†– Jim Rohn
ie by changing nothing, nothing changes. You can’t expect to be doing the same thing, thinking the same thing and then expecting a differet outcome. ie a positive 2012. We are but the product of our habits & thoughts ~ if they are poor then so […]
To those that have been curious, as a few people asked about my name ….. well it’s a latin phrase ….
Ad Astra ~ means “To The Stars”
Ad Aastra Per Aspera ~ Means “To The Stars Through Difficulty”.
ie the universe was not made to be easy. Keep your chin up people and stay positive in 2012. I wish you all a well, healthier & happier 2012.
It’s not whether people have difficulties, this is a given, rather it’s how we choose to face them, that makes our character and defines us.
Here’s to you …. stay positive & strong.
MOLLY WOPPIT; I need to thank you for saying what you sai ” your too young to die stay with us we are listening” Made me feel better. This whole website does. And you gave me a sweet virtual hug soooo(((((((hug)))))))x3 i also want to thank everyone else for commented. All comments let me clear my mind just a little. I truly believe this hole in my heart will dissapear listening to you guys<3 great day so far !