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5

this is it…

August 13th, 2009by cindyinNH

i feel like i am slowly drowning myself in mindless shit… i have settled for a life that makes me unhappy simply because i know there is nothing better for me out there. the only person that keeps me  from doing anything stupid is my son..  but yesterday the asshole i have settled with just reminded me of everything wrong with me.. how i am with him because he was the only one willing to be with me cause i am fat, ugly, and dont have much going for me. how i am thousands of dollars in debt, don’t have a driver’s license, have a dead end …

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3

what to do…

August 13th, 2009by cook2012

what a life i have. my parents with there sharp tongues and quick jokes. such bullshit they know the impact they have on me its ridicilous i honestly dont know how ive made it this far. and to think when i was 9 years old being called a mother fucked by your own mother who didnt care who didnt think that would do anything to her son. what stopped me from pulling that knife quick across my throat, there are good things in this world but in my case they come rare and often stay short. bits of happiness for me was looking at the …

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10

i’d really love to help

August 12th, 2009by whydiebeforeyourtime@gmail.com

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God.  so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.

if you’d like to talk about Him or …

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17

Worthless.

August 11th, 2009by GenerationxPlastik

You can choose to read this or not. I know it’s long.

I’m 17.
Ever since I can remember I’ve been witnessing abuse in my household.

When I was 4, I remember seeing my parents fist fight all the time, & I could never understand why. I remember seeing a few relatives standing in my doorway, but I don’t know why they were standing there, or if they really were there at all. I got my first taste of first-hand violence when I was 5. My mom was holding me in her arms while my dad was punching away at her face. & I remember asking him to …

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3

Rejected.

August 11th, 2009by Jess66

I feel rejected. The other night I got into a huge fight with my parents, they were screaming about how they have known I “have problems” for 3 years now and then kicked me out (I don’t have a car) so they told me to go walk, I walked to the streets for two hours and alone and crying, because I felt like they didn’t love me. And it sucks becuase I didn’t have any one else to tell who I felt would give a shit. But there’s one person whom is so extremely nice and caring but, I hate burdening them with my problems all …

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3

No hope for the heart broken

August 11th, 2009by BrodieSwankie

im sorry everyone but i couldnt find another way out life is too hard when every one you love just hurts you in the end life has been hard im sick of being depressed all the time i was only ever really happy with chantal i started to get depressed after peter took his own life i miss him so much i think life would of been good if he was still here i hope to see him in the after life what ever that might be i have tryed to kill my self befor a fewtimes and not just over chantal but im ready …

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5

it will never be OK…

August 11th, 2009by neverbeok

It will never be ok…

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6

My Gay Ex Boyfriend

August 11th, 2009by eagle7613

Hi,

I hope that someone will be able to help me.   I feel I can’t tell anyone anything and trapped.  I had a child by a gay man.  My daughter is beautiful, and I don’t regret having her.  Now, that I see him come by the house more often it’s usually nice, but there’s one thing that is making me angry.  He has a nice boyfriend who comes over, but I see the two of them kissing in front of me.  His boyfriend used to be me kissing him, taking showers and baths with him, and going out doing things together.   You get the picture.  My …

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1

what a life.

August 11th, 2009by cook2012

what a life i have. my parents with there sharp tongues and quick jokes. such bullshit they know the impact they have on me its ridicilous i honestly dont know how ive made it this far. and to think when i was 9 years old being called a mother fucked by your own mother who didnt care who didnt think that would do anything to her son. what stopped me from pulling that knife quick across my throat, there are good things in this world but in my case they come rare and often stay short. bits of happiness for me was looking at the …

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4

need God

August 11th, 2009by plshelp

I hate my life period. I am almost 30 and I’ve never had a real boyfriend and all the relationships I do have ends with them leaving me for someone else. Everytime… I give money to these men and tell myself I’m helping them when deep down inside I know I’m buying there time.
I don’t have kids and I want them worst than anything. The only thing I wished for as a little girl was to have a family of my own. I had surgery to see if anything was blocking my ability to have kids and as a result of that I found out …

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10

Lost Cause

August 10th, 2009by Neverendingpit

I’m going straight to the point here..I’m undiagnosed. Doctors don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. My symptoms are so random. I used to be so happy and pretty until I started taking birth control. Even though I’m off it now, the damage is already done. If I drink anything, I retain alot and expell little. My skin is darkening and I look like a dude. I’m a freak. No one looks at me the same anymore. I don’ blame them, I hate looking at myself too. I want to get out of this shit hole that is my life. I want to …

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6

What’s wrong with me?

August 10th, 2009by Pyro C

I’ve been contemplating suicide for about a year now. I was on birth control pills to help regulate my period and insulin levels. I used to blame my depression on the pills but even after I got off of them I still have really low lows of depression. I graduated high school at 16 because I couldn’t stand all the drama. People were so petty and fake I couldn’t take it anymore so I got out of there. Maybe I felt like people would really think what I did was amazing. I grew up in a small rural town where nobody graduates early so maybe …

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4

ah well…

August 10th, 2009by I'm_Sick_of_it

Hi, I rather don’t want to say my name,
I live in Europe, and I am 17 years old,

I have a disease, Which makes it very hard for myself, to lose weight,
If I lose 1kg, and eat 1 meal, I will gain that 1kg again,
I live healthy, I try to exercise, Nothing helps, And there is no cure,

At This very moment, My weight is 160Kg,
I know, I’m fat, But many, many people bully me,
And that is what was the beginning of my ‘fall’

I tried many sports, hobby’s, enc enc,
I found none to be appealing to me,
Till I started to game, I love playing games, becoming good …

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6

Lost

August 10th, 2009by forgotten

I am not sure who will see this, are if they will care. Everyday I have consider how to end this pain, the empty feellings that are in my heart . I am sure it will be by pills I hope I have enough. I have wanted for so long to talk to someone and empty out my soul to. But I think God is tired of my tears, if I were he I know I would. I feel so tired of trying, putting on the smiles saying I’m ok. But I am not ok. I take care of my edlery father and I have …

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2

Everything is Different

August 10th, 2009by hatethisworld

I really dont know why I feel so alone…I have so many people in my life that love me very much, but I feel so alone.  Sometimes I think maybe that is the reason why I feel alone.  Life is so wierd these days.  I feel like it is all just a blur.  I stay up late and sleep in late.  I go to work and hate it.  I come home but I dont want to be here.  I use to never be like this until poof one day everything is different.  I honestly dont think that I am depressed but maybe I am… I …

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13

Dispair

August 9th, 2009by k3gt2

Ive always lived my life on a knife edge, very much a roller coaster ride, younger women, fast cars, drugs, you name it i did it, im 44 now, but back when i was 7-8years old i vividly remember my mother telling me, when i did something wrong that, “she never wanted me, ‘they’ didnt want a boy, they only wanted a girl,” my sister is 2 years younger than me.

All through my life its been there in the back of my mind, but its not realy untill you reach a certain age (for me it was a couple of yrs ago) that your mind …

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3

I may sound conceited

August 8th, 2009by yayihaveanemail

But I feel like everyone else in this world is fucking retarded. There are so many things I just don’t understand about people. Why would you believe in religion? It’s just something people made up to explain everything. Why can’t people just say I don’t know? I don’t understand why people want to wear nice clothing, do their hair, all that stupid extraneous stuff. My parents keep trying to convince me that if I don’t have money, I’ll be miserable. Half the students in my school are all selfish people who just want to look good in front of others by getting g/bfs. The other …

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1

dead end

August 8th, 2009by cocoabean15

my life is over. i want it to be over. i know that im not alone in all of this but no one understands. i hate having to go to bed at night wondering if ill get raped or if my nightmares will come back. i hate looking at myself in the mirror; looking at all the cuts and bruises. im tired of harming myself, but it feels so good. its the only thing i feel yet im tired of feeling it. i cant wait until this feeling passes. but that means ill be dead. maybe God will forgive me or an angel will catch …

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6

Here Goes….

August 8th, 2009by anonymous26

I’ve been feeling increasingly down…  Suicidal thoughts are pretty much an everyday occurance nowadays.   Although I don’t feel like I could ever go through with it really.  I’m too much of a chickenshit, and I know that I would cause a lot of people a lot of terrible pain, which I don’t want to do.  I just don’t want to be in pain anymore either.  

I feel like I used to be happy.  I used to be excited about life and the possibilities it could have held.   I just feel like I’m tied down to a lot of stupid bullshit that I don’t want to be tied down to anymore.   …

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5

Am I correct when I say…

August 8th, 2009by steveagain2

Therapists and crisis hotlines are overrated? They haven’t really helped me at all. Different strokes for different folks, of course, but it just seems like these people rarely care about your feelings. They just want to keep you alive, like a vegetable. It seems like that’s how everyone is. “Just get over it”, “everything will work out in the end”, “why the hell are you still cutting yourself, idiot?!”, “imagine how everyone else will feel if you kill yourself, you selfish bastard”…it’s all about everyone else but me, isn’t it?

Whatever happened to me being the monster? Whatever happened to me being the villain? Whatever happened …

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