I’m going to die one way or the other, be it my own hand or someone else. I started college about 4-5 years ago, and things went fine, for a while. And then, it all spiraled out of control. Soon I failed all my classes, no matter how much I studied. I had to leave and start fresh, new school, new subject. I thought it was behind me. It was the worst period of my life. And here I am again, second year at my new school, and it’s all repeating. After everything that happened last time, I know I’m not going to get through […]
I am a 23-yr old male, I am going to take my own life but I do not want anybody involved in this. I know that suicide is illegal in the United States. Will writing a letter stating that I am responsible for my own death be enough?
Can you give me an advice on this?
I have always known that I am merely an experiment, like mass, disposable, since I was a child I have contemplated death; my own death. I am merely the irresponsible result of a night of beer of two youth, a man and a woman, who did not know how to consider […]
grew up in a great family with money. made a bunch of foolish mistakes and always sought the easy way out of things, never willing to take the time to learn essential things (cooking, fixing things, and so on). got diagnosed as bipolar after a second dui. post 18 years old, half my times have been incredible and anyone would deem the “good life” and half my time has been miserable. now i am lonely, live in an area where i do not want to live because of my shitty job, and dont enjoy anything at all. i always carry on hope. everything seems too […]
I forget who or what I’m running from.
I’m just running.
My body accelerates against the cool breeze.
My legs ache. Throbbing, pumping blood.
It’s cold, but my body radiates infernal heat.
That liquid sliding down my skin, from my head all the way down to legs.
What is it? Sweat? Maybe it’s raining. I can’t tell.
Oh yes, I remember now.
I’m running from “them”. All of them.
They did this to me.
They disgust me.
With their primitive, puny little minds, snickering comments and destructive… well, everything.
They tried to kill me from the inside! Those fucking bastards.
But I didn’t let them. I took matters into my own hands.
And now, this is my […]
I lost someone I loved deeply on July 26th of this year to suicide. She was my best friend. It’s been an incredibly hard few months. I used to be a happy person, I used to smile, and mean it all the time. Now, I fake smiling. I know it has to get easier with time, it can’t get worse. I think about how easy it would be do follow her footsteps and end it all. I can’t though, I won’t. I wouldn’t wish the pain I feel on anybody, and that is what I would do to everyone around me. I know this. Whether […]
For the first time in my life i do not have any self confidence, or cares in this world. Two trips to Iraq, 13 years in the military and I am contemplating taking my own life. I just had my second cervical fusion surgery a week a go, and my fiancee dumped me two days ago. I am not sure where to begin, my military career may be over and my first thought of having a real family of my own is gone. i’m lost and don’t know what to do.
Lets say 7 people died.
Just a random 7 people.
A druggie, a homosexual, a suicidal, a thug, an abuser, the abused, perfect life.
Each and every life is different, yes?
But each and every member of their friends or family care.
People DO care.
And they WILL be crying at your funeral.
You might think no one cares,
But that doesn’t mean its true.
What am i doing in school? One of my teachers took me aside today and asked about a whole bunch of essays i hadn’t turned in, and “was i going to finish them? And what of the oral presentation you have on week 50? If you don’t do it, or don’t turn up, it won’t be fair to the other students”. What can i say to that? I know i can’t do any of those things. But if i don’t, my teacher will be upset with me, I’ll fail even more, and my parents will eventually throw me out. I’d managed to shut it all […]
As darkness look’s at me.
For i walk to the night.
For my soul can not be saved.
As i surrender to the moon light.
Forever my soul asleep.
It feel’s there’s no escaping the curse on the moon.
The blind ness of fear. So deep and dark these time’s.
That the sun cannot shine down here.
I feel like a lost stanger stranded.
I fear i have killed. I hope it was just a deer in a field.
Should i wake up dead one day
Open my eyes and find my life had gone away
Should i witness this from afar
Or from where usually I sat looking out
My mouth firmly pressed into a discontented pout
Now from death left wide ajar
– If only
Hello all,
It has been over 7 months since I found a work mate dead. The effect has been huge on me & my family, I have felt almost compelled at times to follow. Anyone that feels like following PLEASE stop…..It will just go on and on. You are better than that no matter what you feel now! Please don’t let anyone find you.PLEASE PLEASE it will cause more pain to someone you may not even know than you know now.
Please !!! stop and think have a cold drink of water then a hot drink of coffee or Tea. Go for a brisk walk […]
I really don’t want to ruin anyones holiday, or uture holidays, yet the time is near and I can;t determine when. All I know is when the pain exceededs the will to bear it the ned will be at hand.
I have 2 methods, niether of which I want to use, a third didn’t materialize, can’t trust “Real” druggies to get what you wnat when you want it.
The wrecked lives I will leave, these lives are wrecked either way. If I stay, those lives are wrecked by many years of me being incarcerated, at my age I will probably die inside without ever seeing the free […]
I will never be good enough for anyone
And don’t even try to plant the idea of that I will
Because I won’t
i feel like i cant help no one not even myself, today me and my sister tried to go see my mom whose pretty far away well me and her are still young we can drive except we dont have a car and the thing that happened was that i cant help but think about what my sister has said many times over and over again….. im dont do anything to help her with struggles and stuff that has happened over the last summer, before summer started a week before school ended my mother was deported … i didnt feel sad or mad and i […]
I am just less than 15 hours away from a long awaited back surgery that will finally relive the pain in my leg that I have had since May. 39 minutes ago was supposed to be a different kind of surgery….A self administered death. But here I am thankful that it didn’t happen that way. I have learned that we are blessed with people in our lives and that sometimes we may think those blessings are curses. I see this is not the case anymore. Everything happens only to make us strong and smarter. I have been depressed for so, so […]
My dad is a hardcore alcoholic and I burly ever see my mom. I guess I should start from the beginning. I have an half brother from a different dad who is 18, a half sister who is 17, and a little brother who is 5. I am a 13 year old girl. Growing up in my house wasn’t easy. My dad used to sell drugs and when he did take them he would come home and beat my mother in front of me and my siblings. I remember one time he hit her so hard that she fell into a mirror and broke her […]
I hear what everyone says, don’t freak about it there’s been worse, your life is not that bad and I know. I’m well aware that my life isn’t as bad as most people. I’ve been lucky I guess. I got out easy. But from everyone telling me it’s not that bad no one stops to listen. I don’t mean to complain about these little things that have happened but I do need to vent so here goes; ver since birth, my mother has had a strong passionate dislike for me. Saying the word hate only pushes me closer to the edge so I’ll use dislike. […]
I have decided to return to God. I have decided to tell my family how I feel. God know, and I’ve told him already. My current life is in jeopardy, but I must atone and try to make the good choices. I guess I should be glad that it’s not so bad yet, but I am not. I want my family to know how I feel.
So. First off I hate life. I honestly see no point in me being in this world. Suicide is very tempting, but scary. My parents, honestly, dislike me. I want to get out of my house, might run-away, not sure yet. I just think I’m useless in this world… My friends always put me down in a joking matter, but it still affects me, even though I tell them to stop, they keep on. I’m 15, and yes I’m mature, I’m not being a ***** about life and crying over everything. I used to believe in God, but everything went down hill, so I lost […]
i was 15 going on 16 (this happen in October 2008) when i lost my great grandpa. i never met my grandparents, either set, so my mom’s grandparents were the only ones i ever met. my great grandpa died of cancer that October & i never knew until the day it happen. he never told me, no one did. and i understand why, i had been extremely close to him & it truly did break my heart when he died. i had been a freshman in h.s at the time & it had happen a week before my birthday. i don’t remember my freshman year […]