Is anyone on here planning suicide by train? If so, is there anything I should know before jumping in front of some random train?
I have been planning my final exit for a few months and know USA Independance Day will be the night for a number of reasons. Main one is the city will be fired up partying along our 3 rivers Regatta and spectacular firewworks. I know what time they begin the fireworks & locks all the traffic. I have to call 911 before I lower the bag or no one will even notice I am gone until they smell me & I rather have my body parts harvested for others to use & the rest of my carcus donated to science. I have already done a 911 […]
at night. When the house is quiet. But my pain is loud. I like to dance. I dance so much. I work on my dancing. I’m actually not bad. I like to sing. Oh how I wish I could sing better. I would do anything. Music allows me to do these things. Without it I’d be nothing. Its a part of who I am. Id dance and sing for years and years just so I wouldn’t cry. But I cry. I cut. Nothing will ever be enough. Just tell me you care. The bad news I can bare. My life is a song. I don’t […]
I composed this e-mail to my counselor but decided not to send it…for obvious reasons. I dunno. I feel so lost without his guidance. I wish someone more permanent were there for me.
Mr. –,
Chances are you’re not going to read this e-mail, anyway, since even though you told me that I could e-mail you over the summer, you forgot to mention that you would never read or respond to anything I sent.
I’ve decided that I am not making it to the end of the summer. I’ll be gone by mid-July. I don’t have to worry about you calling home because chances are, you will never […]
I’m considering drowning or jumping off a building. To be honest, I live in S’pore and it’s so hard to off myself. Here, we have very strict laws on sleeping pills so I can’t get my hands on them. I have try hanging and suicide bag but my survival instincts kick in. Didn’t want to try slash my wrists cuz that will only leave scars and I’m scared of all that blood. Well, I’m a coward so I want to put myself in a situation where I can struggle and it won’t do a thing.
Well, jumping off or walking into water both will off me for […]
that make me want to kill myself.
days when every emotion rushes to your active mind and you feel everything at once.
when being alive is more than bearable .
when the sight of myself brings disgust and hatred to my thoughts.
when loneliness is suddenly all i can think about.
when the thought of suicide feels necessary for survival.
Glorify it for me,
The ignorance that feeds on us like parasites,
The feelings that make it so we can’t do anything right.
Glorify the wheels that turn, the flames that burn,
And threaten that if I try to leave I’ll be devoured.
But I’m not scared, oh no, I’m never afraid.
I’ve been through the darkest valleys,
I’ve sailed the angriest seas;
Yet no amount of mortal terror could ever plague me.
I am numb, no, I am dead,
Inside this fragile body; inside this empty head.
My hands no longer shake; my tears no longer fall,
For I am a mortal no longer, I’ve been promoted.
Oh, but the power is more than I can handle […]
I actually don’t know what I’m doing. Why am I studying a course I hate, living in a place where I’m suffocated, pretending that everything is okay with my family and friends? Why I am here? What the hell is the point in all this?
I’ve been laughed at my entire life, do I always have to be joke?
I don’t want my scars to go away.
I want a reminder, do when I’m older, I’ll remember what I’ve done,
And know that I got through it.
I hate these scars. they are so freaking ugly. only 2 people know of them, and they don’t even care. I can’t stop cutting, I won’t stop cutting. I NEED to cut my arm.
I want to cry. I want to bleed. I want to scream and shout. and be in this everlasting agony, to suffocate in my own, desolate, barren corner of loneliness. this is who I am. this is what I deserve.
does anyone know, if I stop cutting my arm will the scars heal on their own? it’s hard to keep hiding it, my parents would kill me if they found out. I’m gonna […]
I’m ashamed. I’m hurt. I’m not worth it obviously.
I just wish I would have realized it sooner. I wish I would have realized that this isn’t worth fighting. I’m ready to go and it’s not worth trying to stop me. I’m already gone
I’ve not posted here for a while, didn’t really need to. But my heads a bit of a crap pot today, so I thought I might as well.
I’ve definitely stopped self-harming. Havn’t done it in months. I’ve been using bio-oil on the scars on my shoulder, and fuck me does it work wonders. I’d say within the next few weeks, I’ll be able to wear a tank top. Wow, that’d be fucking wonderful.
I’m keeping the ones on my thigh. I dunno why. I guess I just like the feeling of having my past right there.
I’ve definitely been happier. Still get my bad days […]
I think I’m gay. I’ve started feeling different towards some guys I know for the past year. And I use to watch porn a lot, but recently, I can’t seem to get horny from watching straight couples having sex. I don’t really think its a phase because these feelings seem to have grown slowly for the past few years. I go to a all-boy school, not sure if that has influenced me, to be frank I find some of these boys really disgusting like some of them don’t wash.
I don’t know if I should express these feelings or if I should wait a little while […]
I’m so lonely. Â My best friend has been out of town for the past few weeks and might be gone the whole summer, and my other friends havent even talked to me in a month. Â Not even a call. Â No one cares about me. Â I cried more in the past three days then I have in a month. Â I just sit in my room and cry and think about how lonely I am. Â Why cant anybody like me. Â I just wish I knew what people hate about me so much. Â For a little while I pretend a girl is sitting next to me, talking but […]
To be honest, I really don’t know what to say or where to begin. I stumbled onto this site today and my main reason for joining is because I don’t think my family or friends would really know to begin to understand.
I really feel like the walls are just tumbling in, and I’m trying to run, trying to find a way out but it just seems like there’s no open door. I really wish I could just have one moment of clarity. Like just recently, things weren’t going to well, and I told one of my good friend how I had been feeling lately […]
I have been reading this site for a while now and decided to register and write about myself. I don’t know when my problems started, when I started to loose confidence, motivation, joy ect. I remember a time that I always mention when talking to a new “help” person. I was sitting on the matt in primary school, I would have been roughly ten and I just remember feeling very self-consciose, very seperate from everyone else. I found that a very unpleasant experience. I don’t know if it was the first time I had experienced it or maybe it was to a degree that I […]
I don’t fucking have a dad. He’s dead. Somebody should be unbusy today. I’m not even in the mood to mope. I just want somebody dadless like me to show up so that I won’t be so friggin’ bored.
Someone feel free to message me meggypoo_cutie@hotmail.com i’d like to here storys and help you all <3 life is a struggle <3
never thought that i’d be here.
i have fuzzy days and days that are okay. i wish i had enough strength in me to go through with it, but i’m too weak. i’m not enough.
Ok so, I need some answers.
I need to know where to hide a blade (pencil sharpener blade, small)
I’ve been hiding it in my phone cover, but they slip out.. I’ve had multiple.
I also need it on me 24/7.
So any suggestions? Please tell me.