Awhile ago I had this dream. I was at my grandparents house. It was somewhat bright outside and it seemed to be a summer day. I found a deer eating so I watched it and it saw me. I don’t remember if it was a doe or buck but it chased after me and it started to attack me. I couldn’t get inside or run away. It was going to kill me.
I read somewhere that if you dream of a deer it suggests some aspect of yourself that you keep private or someone in your life very dear to you.
When I told my […]
I wake up everyday around 5am breathing fast anxious to start the day because I have no future. I become more buried when I see the thousands of people at my uni. laughing and doing well in classes with ease. Family/school problems have done lead me to this point and I honestly just want to end it. I’m sure at this point everyone I talk to can see and hear the anxiety and depression in my voice and face. I can’t compete in this world and I’m reminded of that everyday and that’s all I can think about.
I have nothing to look foward to […]
ever since elementry school I’ve been called cruel names like “man” meaning I’m ugly or “panda” suggesting I’m fat. Every girl In my school is gorgeous. They all get the guys never me. I feel unwanted. I fall asleep crying and wake up to it too.. Some days I just can’t take it so I come home and cry to my mom cause shes the only one I have the the girls in “friends” with are all terribly they are full of drama and lies. I need someone to talk to..
I bet my family thinks i have an eating disorder or that iim on a crazy diet especially my grandma because im not eating at home well excuse me for not being hungry but i do find it weird aswell i wonder why i don’t get hungry anymore?that’s really weird because im not planning on starving myself that would be too slow…
It just hit me…
I’ve never gotten a birthday card from my dad.
that really hurts.
Someone here suggests piano wire as an effective and painless way of hanging. Are they insane ? It may be effective, hanging is, but with piano wire ? This was a method favoured by the Nazi to deal with many who were involved in the 22 June 1944 plot to kill Hitler; Hitler chose it because it was slow and painful. He wanted revenge.
I understand the desire to die. I understand the attraction of suicide. I understand the sense of control it gives me. It allows me a choice but I wonder, whether it is, in fact, an addiction, a fantasy that gives me […]
I feel like things are getting better and then they go and get worst again.
Why is it so hard to just move on from things and just let go. I don’t fucking get it.
Sometimes I feel like I want to be helped and move on with my life and then other times I just feel like there is no hope so I might as well just deal with it or just fucking die.
Alls I keep thinking about is how torment free my family, friends and (ex?)boyfriend will be if I just pop my clogs.
I actually get a shiver down my spine when I think that […]
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 she sits behind the glass wanting whats on the inside
licking her dry lips wishing for just a taste
nose pressed on the glass making it foggy and warm
leaning back watching the dew drip off the window
breathing on the windown again foggin it up just eunf
holding up one finger to the glass she writes
moving fast before the fog fades
shivering slowly getting up an turns around to read what she wrote
I was here cold alone forgotten but now im just forgotten
today it was weird,
i was yelling at everyone
i wasnt happy
i feel weird
Just heard the song Why by Rascal Flatts talking about losing a friend to suicide. Wonder if something really happen would anyone think of me if they heard that song? Broke down to my boyfriend last night he said I have a week to go talk to a doctor before he does something about it. I doubt he will. Trying to study I have several major tests in the next couple of weeks, but wonder if it is worth it. Counted up by points to see if I can get into my program this fall and wouldn’t you know I am around 1-5 points short […]
I just wanted to share this…I know I am not perfect and although I think of suicide all day long, and fantasise about how I will do it, and though I can almost taste the sweet rest I long for…I know I will survive this. And one day, I will be happy. Not the fake phony kind of happiness…but the kind that all of you have ever dreamed of like me. And I hope that together we will all see this day. I wrote this a year ago. I still feel this way every waking day of my life and I am still fighting. I […]
I wake up each morning alone in my bed, unable to breathe when I think about the depressing things in my life.
I go to school alone, sit in class near people who are fakes. I talk to those around me, but can’t get close to anyone. I grow envious of those who laugh and smile with close friends near by, wondering why I can’t have someone like that.
I go home alone, heading straight to my room, where I’m caged in for years now.
I do homework and study alone, sitting on my room, unable to breathe thinking of how many people I trusted have lied to […]
I ruined my life school, social and family wise. No one cares about me and I need an escape so I want to ruin it for good. I took 15 hydrocodone apap 5-500 trying to overdose but just ended up feeling sick for one day. Every morning I wake up with anxiety and have such hard time breathing just thinking about how bad things have gotten. At this point i want to die and end all this pain. I can’t even have a regular conversation with somewhat close friends and family members because of the depression in my voice. My plan now is to buy […]
I don’t know whats wrong with me. I put myself in therapy but we can’t afford to keep me in it. It was helping, but now everything’s falling. I find it harder and harder to breathe. Maybe one day I’ll stop. I find that thought comforting.
Sometimes I can’t think. I’ll start and stop. People think I’m weird for that. My own flesh and blood don’t understand. And I’ll forget. I want to scream, to tell them that this all hurts so much. But I can’t scream. I don’t know why but my voice is too weak.
Maybe I could blame my parents for this. They […]
I’m probably not going to be on here for a while. My husband thinks I’m having an affair cause I’m on here so much and I’m getting sick, so staying up late after he goes to bed isn’t an option.
I’ll be back until then… Good Journey!
How many Zopiclone do you need to take to be sure you do not wake up, beecause knoweing my luck I’d survive but disabled.
I dont think its right people are coming on here and saying they are seeking someone to kill themselves with. There are people (like me) who have suffered a loved one taking their own life and come on here for support just to see another person planning how they are going to die. It is wrong. If you need help, then ask for it but dont say you need a partner to kill yourself with or to have sex with for the last time. While I have every sympathy with you for wanting to end your life it is not a nice thing to read.
I just got out of the hospital for my third suicide attempt this year. When will be the end of my misery.?! I’m so sick of everything, the bs drama, the fights with so called friends, the arguments with parents, and the constant torture called ‘bullying’. Bullying to me is just a name to cover up a crime that seems to not be worth punishment. But where do you draw the line.? Someone help..
I feel so alone and attempted to die with pills but it only caused vomitting and made me look like a sick freak to my family even though they don’t know what happened. I realized that that was a bad method and made me look like a bigger freak to my family for getting sick. Please someone tell me where to get easier access to potassium cyanide. Is it possible to get it without a license please If someone has it I will buy it please email at hnli374@gmail.com. The pain is too much and also is sodium […]
I’m 20 and my life feels so depressing my grades are bad to the point where I won’t be able to well to conentrate I have extreme anxiety so can’t focus on much of anything without thinking I may fail. I feel so behind in life and the pain is constant no one understands and just tells me to do better but I feel hopeless and depressed about myself that it’s hard to have any motivation. I’ve attempted with pain killer drugs and took 15 at once but just threw up the whole day and made me look like a sick, weak person that always […]
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