Does anyone ever wake up for months on end and think, what the hell? why am I waking up? I am just so unhappy, and I have no desire to do anything but lay down and disappear. I want to vanish. I want to not wake up. I don’t want to hurt anyone and I’m so sick of people saying imagine all of the people who love you, how will they feel? I hate that!!!! I’m drowning in my own mind and the only response to that is imagine how my decision will make others feel. I see the Golden Gate……….and I’m checking out.

I have been grappling with this decision for a long time.  I have 3 kids…but I know they’d be better off without me.  They may not think so initially, they will probably hate me for my decision.  Ultimately, they will continue to live and the world will go on without me just fine.

I have been abused in every way imaginable. As a small girl my innocence was taken and I have been tossed about like a rag doll.  Everyone I trust has let me down. My life has been a lie since I was born.  I got married when I was barely 20. He seem […]

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first things first if your gonna comment (optional) can you pleaz state your age and current location oh and your sex cuz this whole things got me confused. ive had a couple of interesting days ummm let me think on sunday my mom screamed at me for no apparent reason she told me to stop with my attitude AND i swear i was gonna kill myself or my sub-dad GOD!!! wat he did was unexeptible you wanna know wat he did? HE the fucking asshole hurt my precious puppy soufle and i havent cried in years and for HIM  to do that to her i just burst […]

TWICE, have i already attempted suicide nd I am NOT scared to try again. Both times i overdosed clearly tht isn’t my thing. Looking to try something new. But somehow in the back of my mind i can’t stand but think about everyone i’d leave behind wondering if there was something they could do but theres not..

I don’t care if this isn’t exactly poetry, this is my first so I tried my best.

Rain gently taps the window,

the sun is no where to be found,

and I am alone.

In my mind my emotions, thoughts cloud my mind,

my conscience overthrown.

I long for those old carefree days where we weren’t worked to the bone.

As I walk outside I feel as if people can read my fears: of being alone.

My friends, or the few of them are more complicated than most,

they always talk in one tone.

I tried to clear my mind and ask myself why I push everyone away,

why I yearn to be so utterly alone.

Sorry […]

 

 I don’t know why or how, but everything evil and bad in this world ends up finding me. Like I have a neon sign over my head, advertising yet another easy target for the world to corrupt.

I don’t get it.

Why are some people living the time of their lives and then the rest of us fall through the cracks?

I use to be happy. I never wanted to cut or even cry this much, but here I am. I use to not want to do anything I’m doing now. (Haven’t turned to drugs, but I’m contemplating…)

I don’t know what made me crack. Was is that my […]

Hello all,
I’m 18, male. I’ve been seriously considering suicide for well over a year now, I’m what you’d call a slacker I guess but I have reasons that I know my family will not understand… work seems like a waste of life, I have social anxiety also which is a major contributing factor, and because of that I isolate myself in my room most of the time. I’ve gotten into a habit of staying up all night and sleeping most of the day. I usually think about life and existence on this ridiculous planet to try and push myself towards actually ending it but […]

any one lookin for a Suicide partner in. UK? am in Huddersfield. email me plz if interested and have a definate plan of suicide thanks vazzie_ere_chillin@hotmail.co.uk

this website has erased itself from my mind in the few weeks.

i didnt think about.

i didnt type it in.

i didnt even realise that id been absent for so long

(i usually, even if just breifly, am on it everyday to read other peoples stories, or to post my own)

and i like that id forgotten.

it meant that i was having a good time.

i was busy.

i was NOT depressed.

but ive been at home… litterally ALL day for the last 2 days.

and  just 10 minutes ago. i remebered.

i remebered the suicide project

and i hate that i remebered.

i hate it.

well my life has been pretty wel i dont knw i dont even give a shit anymore i just feellike fucking killing myself now but i am afraid to do it. i dont REALY want to but i want to, you know? and like i wish i cud say something about it but im already in fucking rehab right now and im afraid if i say anything about it here theyl send me to a pysch ward and then il really want to. so fuck man i dont kno man i j\\feel stupid writing this but i dont know wat else to do. i jus […]

So, here I am, again. Drinking beer, alone, surfing the internet to try and find something to keep my mind occupied. I would say that I’m lost but I know exactly where I am, and I know exactly how to get out of this place. So why don’t I? Why can’t I?
I could just leave, well.. if I had a job. Although nobody wants to hire a highschool dropout who hasn’t wuite gotten her GED.
So I’m stuck until I get off of my lazy ass. All of this crap I’m feeling right now is my own fault.
I want him more than anything. […]

I just realized today how messed up I really am.
I get on chat sites and talk to strange old men and show them pictures of me naked and get on web cam with them.
I’ve gave a few of them my number.
I tell them I’ll be there slave and bull shit like that.
The crazy thing is, I’m only 15.
I’m addicted to doing this.
Of guys drulling over me on the web.
To know I’m making guys happy by a picture I send them
Or by a sexy sentence I typed.
I’ve had a couple of them tell me there gonna kidnap […]

I have a simple question:
Is suicide selfish?

That Is All.

I always wake up to wonder if what I THINK I dreamt was real or fake, or maybe a little bit of both, or may its neither… I can’t go out into the public without freaking out, becoming something that I have grown to know as myself. I can’t sleep at night, so I’m tired in he morning. I start to play movies of me flying down a hill, hitting to solid ground hard, and rolling down it. Once I was really not having a good time. I had broke down crying at my locker at school, causing a major panic to some-what nice people, […]

i have my son and my father, but besides that i’m lost…

i look up all the ways online and nothing is absolute except for jumping off tall buildings

and i dont have the courage…i want something painless and forgiving and in the morning,

i will have done the dishes and cleaned the kitchen and they’ll just have to come in and pack it all up.

If I could describe myself in one word it would be a coward. There I said it. I can say I am a dreamer or a musician or even a free spirit, but the one thing that hides deep within me is the fear to take a step forward.

I would say when written down in stone……coward is the best explanation of my time in history. I came from a decent family and I have talents, intelligence, and skills. That doesn’t mean shit if you don’t have the balls to step out on your front porch and approach the day with determination.

For years I have been […]

My older sister has special needs and I have to take care of her because my parents don’t.
My other sister pressures me to do drugs and drink.
My best friend is 400+ miles away and I’ve moved 11 times.
I’ve been bullied since the fifth grade.
I battle my crippling anxiety everyday just so that I can go to school.
My feet are scarred for each breakdown.
I don’t fall and fracture bones, I smash them against whatever I can. Feeling pain is the only way I know how to deal.
I don’t seem to be good enough for most of my family.
My […]

One of my teachers had once told my class the only things promised in life was death and taxes.
How truer could this get?

What do I have to do?

What do I have to do to make you understand that you *have* to stop fighting with me?

I’ve been telling you for years now that this is killing me, but you continue to fight and pick and push.

I really do have to kill myself, don’t I.  That’s the only way to make you leave me alone, isn’t it.

I don’t want to kill myself.  I want to be happy, but God doesn’t want me to be happy, so I never will be.

I cannot live like this anymore.