so i just recently found out i am 7 weeks pregnant..

i am also suicidal.. but this site and secret talk help me to deal..

i love my baby already and i dont want to hurt it, so i will not do anything to endanger my child.

the thing is i have lost a baby once before and if i lose this one, i might just kill myself..

i am trying to be very positive and not dwell on the past though, so i am hoping my baby is going to be okay.

if anyone reading this has ever lost a child, can you please tell mme how you got […]

i’d rather be alone
then with someone who doesn’t care
i’d rather be alone
then with someone who only stares
out in the distance
out in the rain
you never seemed to notice
that it was my heart
that held the pain.
but it’s not just the pain that leaves me here
no it’s more than that
it’s knowing i once had you
yes, that’s a fact

oh i feel so dejected
so bad, i almost feel rejected,
if only they had some injection
of your love.
that injection would cure me,
and everyone would see
that your love pours out of me!
so clearly like an projection,
from a projector,
projecting on a wall.
your love makes me yell interjections
up above to all!
and somehow now,
i am a subject to your throne,
you call me your very own.
finally i send my love back
to you like a projectile,
and when it reached you
you changed it’s trajectory
back to me
TIMES THREE!
and thankfully
the burden lifted […]

So my cheating gf i busted agin today!
It made me go from feeling like dirt to feeling nothing at all.
I didnt say anything.I didnt look at her i didnt even look in her direction. What do i do. I told her i was aiming for suicide. I told her awhile back when she was my gf not my cheating gf. All she said was “ok” i think she could give a damn less. I was thinking if i killed myself my dad and sister would be hurt. But why would i care. Im dead right so it wouldnt even phase me. Well my […]

so i tried to kill myself bcuz i didnt want to lose her buc i love her so much and yet i still cant see her

all of you who even come to this site, need to go here too: www.givesmehope.com

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.

if you’d like to talk about Him or […]

I wrote my first blog here earlier last year: A Wasted Life… and hopefully my last is going to be posted sometime next year. This one was quite unplanned and most unexpected but after thinking about it for a little while, I just had to go ahead and write it… okay, so here goes. I live with two people who I greatly care for but one of them’s like seriously terminally ill and he isn’t really capable of taking care of himself anymore, he’s also extremely isolated now since he’s pretty well housebound most of the time. I’ve been living with him for years, trust me […]

Hello there. My alias is Phoung. Some of you know of me. I usually just leave comments with my email if someone wants to talk.

Some have come and talked to me; and I have met wonderful and beautiful souls. I would like to meet more.

If someone would like to talk, send me an email and we can go from there.

I am not gonna tell you “STOP! Don’t kill yourself.” I just wanna listen. But its your choice.

 

silly.snowball@yahoo.com

phoung.seppuku@live.com

 

Rest Yourself on My Heart’s Boundless Ocean Floor. Damn the Hand that Should Steal You From the Bottom of My Ocean. . .

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.

if you’d like to talk about Him or […]

i dont want to cut again but i see no other way …….

I’m sad. I hate my life. I only have a few friends and most of them don’t like me that much.

 

This morning, I left an umbrella outside on my school bus stop as I climbed onto the bus. I thought my grandma would come and get it like she always did but she didn’t. She screamed at me when I came home. I feel that my entire family hates me, especally my brother. He curses at me and calls me stupid everyday.

 

I have a strange fear. I am afraid of everything my brother touches and things that touch that and so on. I see those things as […]

I am borderline (but not).  I live in a fuzzy world between reality and a kiss.  I get bored.  I get scared.  Sometimes I want to die.  I am more than a story, more than a statistic.  There is more to this picture than a scared little girl.  I can laugh.  Sometimes I cry.  I have friends.  I have family.  I love them.  I don’t want to hurt them, but I already hurt them.  I hurt them just by existing.  They don’t tell me that, but everyone knows it.

I like to push the limits.  I like to connect the dots.  I like the feelings.  I […]

hey im back

in hiskool its str8

Had a bf we broke up cuz he was mah cuzin……… gross? FUCK OFF

i luvd him he luvd meh and he aint want sex lyk everyone else he wanted meh 4 being meh, sigh

havent met a gurl/stud i lyk yet (yea im bi)

im ready to leave but i just wont die……………

i need a sweeney todd nxt door to meh

I tried for the last time and, I don’t really know how, I’m still here.

I dare to say I’m glad I’m still here.

Please, don’t listen to the voice in your head who only suggest you to suicide. I understood I wanted to die to escape, not to suffer anymore, to avoid the pain I felt and I feel.

But this is life. A fuckin’ painful life. Day by day I only receive bad news, bad things happen to me, maybe I’m gonna develop a cancer inside my chest.

The truth is, if this is the life I’m gonna live, I’ll live until the very end. With hope, […]

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.

if you’d like to talk about Him or […]

hey. uhh, well i haven’t been on here in a while. you might be thinking ‘yay, good for you’! wrong. My life has gotten eons worse and there’s absolutely nothing i can do about it. My mom bashes on me every day about not eating right and about how i look anorexic and how she’s going to make me go get blood drawn multiple times for tests to see if i’m malnourished.  She knows i hate needles and how weak-at-the-knees i get about getting blood drawn. She sometimes hits me now. I haven’t told anyone that, not even my almost-girlfriend. That’s another problem i have. I’m […]

Hey, I’m not exactly sure how this site works because it’s completely different from every other forum I’ve been on. …and I’m on a lot of them.

I guess it’s a form of escapism. I’m admin on a few forums, moderator on several. I spend altogether too much time on the internet.

About three years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I’ve had problems with self-harm for years and am in my second year of college. It’s taking everything that I am to not drop out of school right now. I haven’t had suicidal thoughts in almost 6 months so I was generally happy for […]

I have  overly protective, overly providing, overly loving parents. Need I say more? I am lucky and I am 21.

I have a new good job, good acads and still studying.  I get everything I want, need, wish for, often before I wanted/needed/wished for it.

I don’t drink or smoke or anything intoxicating and I am still virgin.

And all this feels good.

But is having a good family and everything you need enough?

I don’t have many friends. I am a loyalist and dependable.  I have some good friends and some mad people around me. Sometimes I have lost friends. I don’t feel bad for “losing them” but I […]