Hi im 20 and ive benn doing weed for like 6 years or 7 i tryed once to commit suicide but i was not ready ive benn doing ither drugs to but ive been doing weed every day for the last 2 years and qhile im high i think my self dying couz i cant stand my family problems and what my parents do to my brothers too and im just a fucking punk who likes to sell weed drugs and have knifes so i think very strong a way put by giving an end couz im at my limits cant stand this thing anymore.
I finally got my case pushed through to meeting someone. After waiting 40 minutes in the foyer he finally came out to meet me. Thanks for the promptness. Just proves how important I am to these people.
With the last 20 minutes of my session remaining the guy asked me all the same boring shit he should have got in the fax of my assessment. Oh wait. They didn’t fucking send it to him.
So now here we are, more than halfway through and with no past history on the table. What a great start. I was so mad at this point that I could barely answer […]
im a 20 yo male. ive been feeling this way a while now, it doesn’t seem to be getting better. i have friends and family that love me just as much as i love them. as much as it hurts though, i don’t think they can fix the way i feel. i don’t feel control over my emotions like i used to. i have good days, then i have days where i feel like im falling much too fast to be caught. no hard drugs here, just pot. i think it helps me. i don’t want to depend on it though. i have support, i […]
I’ve realized that nothing amuses me or makes me happy. My life is becoming a boring routine. I’m in college and yes, I have different classes every day but it’s all the same to me.
Today, I woke up at 5:20. I don’t drive so I have to rely on someone who has their own business to drop me off. I went to class, where I almost fell asleep in. Now I have this huge gap, 4 hours, until my last class. I have no friends here. I don’t talk to anyone. I don’t mind it but it gets boring. Then I’ll most likely go […]
Hi. I’m a guy that is never accepted or understood wherever I go. I have got several diagnosed problems such as depression and no matter what I do, it haunts me day to day. The isolation for 20 years. I have tried so many times to end the pain Im living on a day to day basis.
I just want it over and done with now.
can someone please help!
Can’t believe that I ever thought I had more serious problems in life before now. I was sexually molested and had awkward sexual situations with adults and others that were my age growing up. I repressed the memories, I repressed all of it because it was all so terrible and disturbing. I never dated growing up, I fell in love with a guy and started dating him when I was 19. I started having sex with him when I was 20 years old and once I started I couldn’t stop we always had sex. We were careful and responsible about what we were doing and […]
Short one.
About 4 days ago I ate 20 castor seeds. I kept them down for about an hour to two hours so they should have been fully dissolved. I peuked and had bad diarreah for about a day then the throwing up went away. The liquid poops I still have. And I havent had a solid one since. I know that its supposed to take a few days but it seems like its not going to work. Any body have any experience trying with ricin/castor seeds?
The stomach doesnt dissolve it as were in another form. We dont have to go into that though because of […]
http://www.gq.com/news-politics/newsmakers/201409/the-last-true-hermit
At least, someone I admire in a weird sense… that’s like, a qualification for a hero, right? This story’s kinda old so I dunno how many people haven’t read about this guy yet, but basically this dude just decided that he wanted to live a life completely devoid of human interaction, and indeed he did for almost 28 years. I think he was around 20 when he just walked into an isolated park in Vermont and lived off petty burglaries around the nearby cabins, stealing only things that he needed to survive on, and apparently a lot of books too, he seems pretty well-reas. […]
I thought I could come to college and settle in and not want to go home til thanksgiving break. But no, I had to get a rude room mate, be told i don’t belong here, and deal with depression that everything is causing. This weekend I’m’m going to visit home but I’m starting to wonder if ill end up coming back to college. I’ve been doing class and homework nonstop since I came here and I’m taking 20 units. My volleyball coach is mad cuz I’m not doing well in practice and I’m not going to the gym. I haven’t had time because of […]
What does it mean to love?
I have been alive for 20 years and I don’t know what it feels like. I have been trying to describe this feeling to myself but i feel like i can’t.
To love someone, and to be loved. Not just in a romantic way, but with family and friends.
Like, if you were to ask me if I loved my parents or if they loved me i would say yes, not because i understand this feeling. Just because its the right answer.
A close friend of mine used to cut like myself. But she stopped when she found her boyfriend. It’s like when […]
well today was almost the day. why it wasn’t isn’t really important here. but the means, the opportunity and the will are all there. i really don’t know why i have fallen into the pit. i have been crying a lot (read everyday), angry, etc etc. you know the drill. after that then there is a certain kind of numbness. i am purposely withdrawing from the world, life. then the physical stuff isn’t exactly helping either. the near constant stomach pain whether i eat or not, various wounds from months ago that are not healing. chest pain and fatigue just for shits and giggles. yes […]
How did I get here again? Ugh! I feel like I am never going to break free of this damn soul-disease that makes me hate myself. I feel numb and just want this continual emotional battle that I have going on inside of my head to just give it a rest and leave me alone already! How many more relationships do I sabotage? I have no friends and that is because I don’t want any. I believe that if someone gets to know the real me that they won’t be very impressed-so I push everyone away. I am not close to my parents and I […]
I have never really written anything for anyone else to read before… to tell you the truth… I am not sure if this is a good idea. But I am going to try.
I was diagnosed with severe depression when I was 15. By the age of 20, I was on and off 12 different anti-psychotics, anti depressants, and anxiety medication. I was hospitalized seven times for suicide attempts.
They then told me I have what is called Borderline Personality Disorder. With Major depression. I am now 23.
I just… I hate myself so much. I became impulsive, after my boyfriend of six years and I broke up, […]
Heres the short version of my story, im 20 have never gotten laid, have aspergers, dont have any legit friends, left school because I couldnt take the mental horror that was bullying. I have no degree, I havent had a girlfriend in years, all my friends have someone in their lives, but me im the ugly duckling who wants to take a revolver an blow his head off. Why am I always getting rejected by people :'(
New dilemma. I had another panic attack today, while at work. I was lucky enough to excuse myself so no one realized, but I don’t really remember what happened in the 20 minutes I was gone. Later on I notice my sleeve is sticking to my arm so I go to the bathroom to wash it off, thinking it was juice or something from one of my customers…nope. I had somehow cut myself. For the first time, I carved “useless” into my skin. What the hell?
I’ve been standing here for the last 20 minutes trying to get enough courage to step of the stupid chair, I want to leave so bad but I just can’t take this last step!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!
I used to be so much. I used to be a firefighter and when i would show up on the scene of a suicide I would always wonder how low does someone have to be to do that. I understand now. I have so much hate built up inside. The things that I once loved have turned away from me. The woman i love would rather be beat by a drug addict than be with me. I stay around for my mom, but it’s getting so bad I’m sure she would be better off without me too. I want to see my sister she’s been […]
I don’t know where to start.
I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. That alone was absolute hell. Every day was about reading the bible and going door to door to convert people. I never had time to be a kid. To make it worse fun was practically a sin. When pokemon came around I wasn’t aloud to play, because Pokemon were “Demons”. When Harry Potter came around I wasn’t aloud to read, because harry potter is a “Warlock.” Instead I spent my entire youth learning how to speak in tongues, how to convert someone, that I’m a bad person. There were no holidays in my […]
I had a real bad night last night. Barely got any sleep cos of these withdrawl symptoms I’m having.
I have been on Cymbalta for the past 5 years. The first doc who put me on it didnt care. So I ended up monitoring myself. I then learned from the 3rd doc I went to that I was taking well over the recommended maximum dosage-120mg I was taking 240mg most days! That was a clue that it wasnt working. So over the next 3yrs I tapered down to 60mg. Now my doc (the 8th doctor ive seen) has finally listened to me after nearly a year […]
I grew up raising myself from age 8 onwards. Prior to that I witnessed my elders shooting up cocaine, having sexual relations and committing violent acts.
My mother was 16 when i was cut out of that wretched *****. I hate(d) her with everything in me. Maybe hate was the wrong word but DESPISE definitely isn’t. When I was four years old I tried to kill her. I remember it vividly. When it came to crunch time I regretfully saved her life. (((To protect my anonymity im not going to reveal the method)))
Four years later I was cooking my […]