I never thought I would be posting here but I finally am no longer able to handle everything that is going on in my life. I have just turned 22 and can no longer take the abuse from my father. Every day I am screamed at and it seems that like clock work every 5-6 months he beats me. I just cant take it anymore. I have been through many jobs and cant make enough to move out. Today he humiliated me and screamed at me in front of all the neighbors. Embarrassing. He leaves me feeling like there’s no longer a point in living. […]
Tag:
abuse
I don’t know when my father will ever look me in the eyes or even look at me. He’s always breaking, throwing, and verbally abusing me at the point where I decided to tie a noose and wrap it around my neck in my basement. I was scared of how it might feel and if it would’ve hurt, but you can already guess what I did… as I’m hanging and swinging around I couldn’t help and notice the pressure building up on my face. I felt as if my face was burning and ripping apart and my ears felt as if they were being pulled […]
I’m just done. I really don’t know how to cope with anything anymore. My mom has been in a bad mood for the past week, because she is very stressed about christmas shopping. And of course whenever she’s angry, who does she take her anger out on? Her family. So her and my older brother were fighting about were the clicker was, and my mom got really angry. She was calling him a bastard, lazy ass etc. And my brother just said “Can you stop being a dick to me”, which he should never had said. She starts saying how terrible we all are then […]
As a kid growing up, I didn’t grow up happy. The pain I go through everyday of my life does not equal to the average kid today. My biological father was my everything to me when I was young. He was the only person I look up to. We weren’t close, but he was the one in my life that gave me hope and happiness. Around the age of five, I was oblivious to see our family problems. I had no idea what was going on. My father told me in the midst of my sleep that he loved me, that he was leaving. Again, […]
Hi everyone, I used to be a frequently posting member of SP even before the site’s new look and new options with the dash (….which really wasn’t all that long ago guess.) I usually found answers and help here whenever it was sought, but it has been awhile since I have come here to say anything of real pertinence. I am back now because I have a real strong conviction and yearning to commit suicide and stop all of this damaged, irreparable ruinage. I know such things get said over and over on SP’ however it is difficult to go through […]
What I thought was going to be a great Thanksgiving turned into a nightmare. My mom once again had one of her huge outbursts and just had to make everyone upset. It started out as a fight between her and my dad, they were screaming and my mom threatened divorce, and then she was fighting with my grandma. She was getting into her face calling her names and screaming. I would not allow her to treat my grandmother like that. I had to tell her to stop. Then she was following me around the house screaming for me to give her my phone. She kept […]
Seems that by saying I feel like killing myself and mentioning it was my birthday in the same sentence meant I deserved some abuse. I don’t care how old I am. I put my age as I was sick of feeling like this for years. Not because I want to die because I’m a certain age.
I fucking hate life and being here.
Good fucking bye
I was laid off of a job four months ago. Since then, I’ve been very sick, I’ve failed several interviews, and have started to take full time accounting classes. I have a fiance of seven years who says what I believe are the worst things you can say to a human. He has told me to kill myself, he has called me worthless so many times, as well as anything else you can think to call someone. He tells me things like, “you’re so worthless to me”, “Oh great, I’m turning into you. I’m just going to be a miserable, worthless manic depressant”, “I used […]
the pain and heartache. no one really cares your supposed to get over it. even if the pain and abuse and mistreatment continues no more crying no more tears life goes on, sure not like this
For nearly a month now, I have lost so many things in a matter of seconds, I never have time to cope with any of it, and I just can’t take the pain anymore as well… Seems like for as long as I can remember all I’ve gotten to feel is pain, pain, pain and more pain… Endless, never ending and unrelenting amounts of pain… It just never stops… it just keeps growing and growing, like an ocean that expands over the land, swallowing all in its path.
There just doesn’t seem to be any reason for me to exist at all anymore, no one wants […]
Throughout my life I have been hated,
despite my efforts of approval of others.
Pushing myself beyond my limitations,
it was never enough, not even for my parents.
Abused, and bullied, I was never loved nor needed.
Rented to mental hospitals,
only to be tortured and experimented on.
No memories of happiness are inside my head,
only frequent reminders of hate.
No friends or moments of joy nor compassion.
Nothing to live for, no hope, no dreams, no desires.
I have nothing in my wake and even in my sleep,
the nightmares are there to hurt me more.
I end my life on this promising […]
All my life, since i was 6, my father mentally and physically abused me. It never really hit me till 2 years ago. I went in deep depression and i just shut down. I attempted to commit suicide twice, but i never really could do it. I guess i was scared to leave, or maybe i just didn’t have the guts. So i turned to cutting. This year has been the worst for me. Everyone that has said they were going to stay, left. So i have just shut everyone out. I don’t have many friends because i shut them up before they have a […]
Hello my name is Maddie and I’m 13. I bet some of you are probably thinking ” what would a 13 year old know about being depressed ” well i know alot. It started when i was 5. When i was 5 my mom died in a car accident. I don’t really remember her and it sucks :(. When i was 8 my dad put me up for adoption so i would have a better life. Since i was 8 i’ve been getting bullied because i’m either too fat or too ugly or too short. People just have so much fun judging me. So from […]
Chased down like a deer during hunting season,
I’ve outran them before.
Having moved to a new town,
to start a new life,
quickly shifted back to the old ways.
With the same rules,
and new means of being bullied.
Their words pierce, stab and cut me.
Battered and bruised my mind is,
thanks to the poison they’ve struck my soul with.
The void in my soul buries deeper each day,
even though I am older now.
I learned to adapt to the pain but, it still hurts me.
Their words return constantly,
reminding me of how worthless I am.
Suicide attempts were an outlet,
I have an abusive partner, rarely physical abuse. It’s abuse which is carefully engineered to hurt me from within. Emotional abuse is the worst form I believe. It destroys your mind and leaves you with numbness. Everyday I suffer, in one way or another. I feel myself getting closer and closer to the point of no return. The one thing keeping me here is my son. I’m beginning to feel even he would be better without all of this. Maybe he can then have a happy childhood.
I have no family, I have no friends, this account and post was created in secret. I know it’s […]
You know when somebody says “You shouldn’t be around people who make you unhappy.” There’s only one person that makes me unhappy, and that’s my mom. The worst part is I am forced to be around her. She is emotionally abusive and she claims that she has never said anything bad to me. She says I’m a *****, a drama queen, that I’m crazy, and she hopes I run away. She is the reason i cry so much. I’ve suffered from depression since I was 8, and my mom has always belittled me about it. My older brother at the age of 7 had a […]
I’ve gotten all business attended and done I’ve got everything in order now I just have to do it finally I’ll be free from my abuse all my pain I don’t belong in this world was there any doubt I would die early not in my mind I knew at a youngest age that it would end with a bullet through the mouth and soon it will be done
I can relate with so many of you. I grew up in a family where my father was an alcoholic and incredibly abusive. My ever step or sniffle was a possible cause for a beating if he had too much to drink. As I got older I internalized all the abuse. I attempted suicide will pills but it never worked. I used to pray every night that God would take me away. God obviously had other plans. I had a horrific case of anorexia as I tried to control my life. Not eating didn’t help…I was tiny and people treat tiny people like china, but […]
I don’t know why I keep going unless it’s out of habit. I long ago passed the point where I can even pretend to be dealing with the daily pain. Raised in an abusive home, sexually abused in high school, and HIV+. I’ve struggled for decades to deal with my depression. I’ve struggled to maintain an occupation for which I’ve sometimes received professional recognition, but now no one’s interested. I’m ignored. Never a word when I respond to a job posting…or they want to humiliate me further by paying me Burger King wages. As a Boomer, I guess I’m now too old. As productive as […]
Our eyes met,
and for some reason I just couldn’t resist you,
I fell fast and so did you.
But then the sweet words you called me turned sour,
the touching wasn’t so gentle anymore,
you left bruises and scars,
but somehow it felt better to go through this pain with you,
than without.
I never believed in God,
but I started praying for death,
hoping some greater power could take me out of this misery.
Your mean words became my reality,
and my bruises you left on my body never healed,
they were permanent.
I left you, with swollen eyes and a heavy heart,
never knowing if I would find someone that would make me so miserably happy.