Tag:

abusive

Getting Banned From Suicide Sites

by louise52 4/12/2015

written by louise52

I hope this doesn’t happen to anyone here (unless you’re an abusive troll of course). I was banned from two chatrooms and this forum. I was manic and somewhat obnoxious at the time, however others misbehaved too and deliberately stirred shit for me with a loved one. I’m sure they’re still happily included in the respective groupings.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not bitter about it. I would just like to highlight for people the fact that many people with mental illnesses use these forums. Being banned or outcasted from a suicide forum could have quite a damaging effect on that person. Human beings yearn to […]

4/12/2015 12 comments

How do i get over my fear of the afterlife?

by deadpuppy 3/31/2015

written by deadpuppy

I’m not Christian or anything, but i still fear the possibility of going to hell if i kill myself. I have chronic pain, severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD due to an abusive childhood. I’m ready to die, but this dumb fear is holding me back and i don’t know how to get over it. I’m suffering and i just want to be free. Does anyone have any advice at all? :/

3/31/2015 9 comments

Help, someone

by pixilatedpixie 3/1/2015

written by pixilatedpixie

Hi, guys. Bit of a long story here, will try to keep it short.

I’m Pixie, I’m 22 and I live with my fiancee, as well as severe depression.

I have been known to drink to cope with my problems in the past. It has caused problems, for which I have taken action on and done my best to cope with therapy and medication. It has helped to some degree.

However, tonight my boyfriend went out to a party he didn’t invite me to, even though the host of the party did, and came home drunk and abusive. He told me to f-off and shut up any time […]

3/1/2015 3 comments

I never had

by IndigoMasquerade 2/27/2015

written by IndigoMasquerade

I never had a sweet 16 birthday, a great 21st birthday, I never got to go prom dress shopping and I wasn’t asked by any guys to go to prom, I never had a bridal shower, or went wedding dress shopping, I didn’t get a romantic proposal or a housewarming party, I don’t get a honeymoon or even a ceremony in a church. I had to wait 8 years with a guy who has abused me in all aspects possible the entire time. I’ve always been in abusive relationships. So after 8 years I finally settled on just going to a courthouse and getting married […]

2/27/2015 4 comments

Extremely Depressed

by lonleyk 2/22/2015

written by lonleyk

I think about it all the time……killing myself. I’m in a abusive, manipulated, horrible relationship. I am 31 and female. My common law husband is 43, so we are many years apart. He is horrible to me. He plays mind games with me all the time, manipulates every situation that he can with me. He makes me feel horrible about myself and he thinks he is better than anyone.

Because of all this I want to kill myself. I just can’t take this pain anymore. I can’t leave cuz I do love him, but at the same time I can’t take his shit. I feel like […]

2/22/2015 3 comments

Time to go

by kontinkatink 2/22/2015

written by kontinkatink

I have no reason to lie. I’m not a liar…never been good at it. I’m a good man. Everyone I’ve met I’ve helped and loved but I’ve been treated really really badly all my life. I’m 53 and from the moment I was born and my physically and psychologically violent father trashed me, to sexual abuse from another family member, to cancer at 17yrs old, to 3 near death experiences, to disability, to 8 abusive relationships (that totally broke me), to 3 suicide attempts, self harm and the list is actually over 50 separate life changing events I can no longer live. I’m broken now…I […]

2/22/2015 5 comments

Silence

by Stormadriel 2/4/2015

written by Stormadriel

I have been in a lot of abusive relationships, and until now, I’ve always been able to fight my way to freedom.

But now…

I’ve developed Conversion Aphonia… meaning, because of the trauma I’ve suffered, the emotional, physical and sexual abuse, my voice… will no longer be there…

I can’t speak. I can’t laugh. I can’t even try. No matter how much I try, my body will not let me make a sound.

What am I supposed to do now?

2/4/2015 1 comment

I don’t know why i’m saying this…

by magenta98 1/20/2015

written by magenta98

I don’t really know why I am posting this. Perhaps it is just to pass the time or perhaps it is because there is one else I can tell. That doesn’t matter.

I have been bullied my whole life. It really crushed me inside and I started self harming when I was twelve. Despite the fact that the bullying has stopped, my life is still greatly impacted by it. I am incredibly self conscious of how I look, what I say, and even in every miniscule thing I do. I can’t make one little mistake without thinking about it all the time. I can’t even handle […]

1/20/2015 3 comments

by notsureifreadytogo 1/17/2015

written by notsureifreadytogo

O.k. guys. I have been in a relationship with a woman who has some serious emotional disabilities. Things get heated frequently and I have become very abusive. Luckily for her she left 2days ago. We have been raising our kids together so I have lost a son as well. The house is full of her possessions, presence, and memories. I find myself staring at her empty spot in our bed and i have begun sleeping with her pajamas in my hands. I have no help with bills. Its looking hopeless and the pain is overwhelming. All I know how to be is a family man […]

1/17/2015 2 comments

I just wish I could not be scared

by AJH7879 1/6/2015

written by AJH7879

My mom died just a couple of months ago in October. She was my best friend. I don’t have any other friends. Her absence leaves me feeling very alone in this world. I’ve been married for 12.5 years to someone who doesn’t seem to love me and it finally seems to be falling apart now. I need my mom more than ever. My oldest brother finds nothing but disappointment in me. My other brother would screw me over for an opportunity to help himself and his family. The only person on this earth now who loves me and would miss me is my teenage son. […]

1/6/2015 3 comments

Lost

by smalls714 1/5/2015

written by smalls714

So I’ve been fighting through terrible depression for a lot of years. I was in an abusive relationship for over a decade where my insecurities anxieties and depression were used to keep me blind and dumb. All my friends have moved or disappeared. I was not raised to communicate or express myself properly.
All of this has lead to me just spending my days wishing I could die. Apparently this would upset too many people.
My question is why can’t I? Why can’t I have what I want? I just want peace. I don’t feel like a real person anymore and I just want to […]

1/5/2015 3 comments

by StrayMuttBall 1/4/2015

written by StrayMuttBall

Found out yesterday my father is leaving my mother (with three children). He fell in love with a co-worker half his age, a few years older than me. He just took his clothes and left without telling his children. He want going to tell mom either. My mom finally confronted him….And asked him if what she silently hoping want true was real. He admitted top being in love with someone else and just left. This just happened. Happy 2015. My dad isn’t an abusive alcoholic junkie asshole. He had his problems sure like we all do but […]

1/4/2015 3 comments

Annoying Cheeseball

by FeelingFunny 1/1/2015

written by FeelingFunny

Hey I know it’s totally cheesy but you all have the strength to overcome your adversity. I believe God never gives us more than we can handle. But, even if you don’t believe in any god or any religion, I still believe that as humans we have the inner strength to persevere. I have gone through suicide attempts, bouts of mental instability, self injury, addiction, an abusive father, and I recently realized I was technically molested by my sister from the age of 4-10, I had just never thought of it like that cause she was only three years older than me and I forgot […]

1/1/2015 26 comments

Best wishes

by ackerman 12/29/2014

written by ackerman

It’s important to acknowledge that every person’s justification for suicide is valid and should be respected, whether your suicidal tendencies are a product of an abusive environment, deprivation of vital needs (such as social needs, romantic needs or the lack of care and appreciation from others), or financial complications, physical health impediments and decline, or even if your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner has left you or you stubbed your toe and that’s thrown you over the edge, every reason is valid. Suicide is entirely subjective and is construed in a different way by each individual. Humans are innately logical creatures, the only deviation from this is decided by […]

12/29/2014 4 comments

Jaded: My struggle with suicide

by jcanida56 12/23/2014

written by jcanida56

My name is Joseph…..I’m a cutter, and I’m sick of being alive. I have nothing and nobody, and I’m worthless. I refuse to act on suicide anymore though because I’m sick of being locked up in those inpatient prisons for the mentally ill. Getting no help. On August 26th, I drove out in front of a semi going 70 in my 2012 Ford Focus. I was ready to end it. I was sick of the pain. It tore up my car, but somehow I walked away from it. Then my mom decided to kick me out so she could have her piece of crap, sleezebag […]

12/23/2014 17 comments

Trying to Find Hope

by depressed9 12/15/2014

written by depressed9

I need to find an outlet. I’m not sure what, but I need to. Every day I wake up and wonder why my life suddenly feels like a nightmare. After ending an emotionally and physically abusive relationship of four years, I have had my ups and downs. During our relationship, he could make me feel amazing and he could make me feel horrible. He would either tell me I was beautiful, or tell me he wished I was pretty, like the girl in his class, that I had a more toned body, instead of being so skinny, that I had bigger boobs, that my lips […]

12/15/2014 0 comment

Pain so deep it bellows

by IndigoMasquerade 12/11/2014

written by IndigoMasquerade

My fiance (if I can even call him that anymore) has resorted to lying about where he goes. Then I only find out when he gets random texts from people thanking him for stopping by on his way home and he asks me to check his phone for him. Not only that, I don’t like the way he talks to his female coworkers, but he doesn’t find it a problem and has called me “retarded” for being jealous and hurt. I’ve been with him for so long. It’s not a thing that lasted a year or two, or even four. Much longer than that. He […]

12/11/2014 3 comments

Painless ways?

by 1moreday 12/11/2014

written by 1moreday

How do I die peacefully. I was raped from 5-11 constantly my dad is abusive. Please let me go. Please. I need some way to die but not hurt or vomit or be in pain I’ve already suffered too much please help

12/11/2014 9 comments

under pressure

by soonerthecosmos 11/26/2014

written by soonerthecosmos

God, both my parents are dropping not-so-subtle hints that they already want to retire…

My father had a myocardial infarction a few years ago and he’s still struggling to pay off the loan he took to pay for the medical bills, and on top of that he’s paying for his meds for diabetes monthly and sending my 2 younger siblings to college. He says he really wants to pay all the bills and just retire as soon as he can.

My mother is sick and tired of her abusive boss and unprofessional work environment. She only plans to stay 3 years tops to complete a 10-year company […]

11/26/2014 16 comments

Random Ranting, I Suppose.

by IndigoMasquerade 11/9/2014

written by IndigoMasquerade

I was laid off of a job four months ago. Since then, I’ve been very sick, I’ve failed several interviews, and have started to take full time accounting classes. I have a fiance of seven years who says what I believe are the worst things you can say to a human. He has told me to kill myself, he has called me worthless so many times, as well as anything else you can think to call someone. He tells me things like, “you’re so worthless to me”, “Oh great, I’m turning into you. I’m just going to be a miserable, worthless manic depressant”, “I used […]

11/9/2014 3 comments

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