Today.
21 january.
One year.
One year of self-harm.
One year of cuts.
21 january.
21 january 2012.
The day.
The day I started cutting.
Cutting on my hands.
Cutting on my feet.
Cutting on my hips.
Cutting on my belly.
Cutting on my lower arms.
Cutting on my wrists.
Cutting on my chest.
I can remember that day as yesterday. Saturday 21 january 2012. I grabbed a scissors and started to scrape and scrape on my hand until there was a little scar with a very little bit of blood. I did it, couldn’t go back. Well, it doesn’t matter, right? It was just […]
I’m a 14 year old guy.
These are some of the reasons I think I should commit suicide.
I was at a good friend’s house. He walked down the hall. I thought to use the restroom. He came back with a shotgun. He told me what a worthless son of a ***** I was and that he was going to kill me. He pressed the gun against the side of my head. Then pulled it back and looking frustrated with himself for not following through, punched me. I layed there while he yelled at me and told me why he hated me until my parents got there […]
For ten years I’ve messed around with my brain. I was never happy and I’m still not. I’ve lost almost everything that matters.
Last night I woke up screaming. I was asleep, had JUST fallen asleep, and in my ‘dreams’ I was talking on the phone when I had a seizure. It felt so real. I fell forward, unable to reach the phone just staring at it. Finally I screamed. And that woke me up. This happens all the fucking time.
I laid there and I realized, the dreams really aren’t that bad. Even that terror that I feel at the last minute before the screaming wakes me, at […]
Hello, I’m Bane. I’ve tried to kill myself many times and I decided I wanted to come on here and Impart my story to you fine people. My story begins and ends in darkness, I was born in a prison called Pena dura located in the darkest of caribbeans Santa Prisca. I was forced to serve the life sentence for my snake of a father Edmund Dorrance AKA King Snake. I was raped many times, Raped by Injustice and darkness…and sometimes men, dark men. I had nobody, I had nothing. Except my bestfriend Osito. I loved Osito, I made love to Osito. Osito was not […]
I used this website for a bit and it helped some to communicate with people who can understand the struggle of depression. i think i managed to be okay for two years.. but i had a downfall and im not really sure what exactly caused it but the point is.. im back and personally it got way worse.. i had mentioned how i had tried taking my life but i dont remember ever doing some of the things i have done in the past months.. almost a year already that i guess “the cycle” came back. ive actually reached out to professionals and i went […]
My bdd has reached an all time high
I stand in front of the mirror and watch as my body grows
I feel gross
I used to be the skinny, gorgeous one
Now I always feel fat and ugly
Add that to my crappy personality and you have a real winner right?
I have no real friends, no one to talk to
I have a new addiction: sexting to random strangers online
i used to be the good girl
The attention makes me feel good, hot, strong
it’s also good for my social anxiety.
I wish I could be so confident with the people I know
No one around me knows my dirty little secret
What I am […]
Empty, transparent, and alone I strung a wire up to the main support beam in my attic. Â The other end of the extension chord was fitted with a slip knot, which I slid up the fastened end of the wire making just enough room to slide my head through. Â I tightened the wire around my neck and fitted it carefully not to close the air passage. Â I jumped. I didn’t even write a note.
There were moments where I wasn’t aware of my existence.  All I could see was a black foreground with slowly morphing red shapes strung together in a kaleidoscopic nature. This intense vision was coupled […]
My Junior year of high school, i used to perform self harm to myself. I had a lot of boyfriend trouble and my friends had completely stabbed me in the back and I just couldn’t take the humiliation anymore. Cutting became an overwhelming addiction and I couldn’t stop. Eventually my parents caught on to my behavior and one day my father came to me and asked if i wanted to wake up tomorrow and i said no. I was taken to the hospital so that i could immediately talk to psychiatrists about how i was feeling. I figured when i was done I would just […]
well its been up and down since i joined this site ,i shared my story , how i was raped , and used , hell im still used by so many of those close to me and it hurts but i lets them cause im hurting myself in the long run.When i joined this site , i had never hurt myself , never tried killing myself , i had only had thoughts about it , i was 14 when i joined up , im now 15 ,16 in 4 months ive tried killing myself twice , and cut myself a few times , ive also […]
For the past two years, my family has struggled with my mom’s addiction towards alcohol. A year ago, she was told that she wasn’t going to be allowed in our house anymore unless she got help. And she did shortly after. But after awhile, it started again. The drinking, the yelling, the pain, everything. We all knew, my dad, my sister, and I. She, of course, denied it.
About ten days ago, she was served divorce papers from my father. I was on his side, due to the fact that I was hurt, embarrassed, terrorized. She hadn’t realized all the pain she’s caused me for the past two […]
I am new to this site.  I have been having suicidal thoughts for a while now…  I don’t really want to explain my situation, but to say the least, my life has been a complete failure and I want it to stop.  I don’t want to change my mind, I can’t fucking STAND ignorant people that are like “why you drink/smoke/do drugs?” Obviously because I’m lonely/depressed/have an addiction/want to forget my problems and I most certainly don’t want to talk about that.  I am not looking for sympathy, or all that jaz.  I am just looking for information.  My top choices would be 1. KCN […]
I write a lot of poetry that comes from within when I can no longer express myself clearly. It can be what I’m doing at the moment or what’s pulsing inside. It must get out. I used to draw by hand and every blue moon I will draw one thing. But my art is not what it used to be. I am not what I used to be.
My drawing as a kid at in school got me in trouble. I did it during class when what I was learning didn’t interest me. Teachers would take my notebook, or scold me. One kept my notebook […]
I’ve contemplated suicide for quite some time now. when things really started to get bad I told my psychiatrist and I was sent to the hospital for having a plan. I spent 5 weeks at one facility and still felt suicidal so I was sent to a long term facility for 2 weeks but I talked my way out of there.
I spent 2 weeks at home before I decided I was going to kill myself. I overdosed on medication and woke up in the hospital. I thought great here I go again. I spent 1 week in the hospital and 3 weeks in intensive […]
I fuked up. About a year and a half ago I became addicted to painkillers I’ve been on suboxone for the past 6 month’s my wife found the suboxone pills about 4 months ago so I came clean and she left me and took my 1yr old daughter with her and is using my past drug problem against me to get custody and prevent me from regularly seeing my daughter I also got caught shoplifting about a month ago and during my addiction I used my corporate credit card for work to take cash advances to pay for my pills work found out fired me […]
So, I just stumbled apon this sight and I am finding everyone’s posts extremely interesting and relatable. To tell you about myself I’m a 16 girl and I don’t know I suspose I am depressed even though I tell myself everyday I’m not. I would very much like for my life to be over. I belive I have a mild addiction with self-harm. I have often felt very isolated, but I managed to find a friend I could talk to I could trust. He actually has very similar problems to me and it was really nice to share with someone who feels just the same […]
I know how it feels to be sad. Depressed. Like no one cares. Like you don’t want to live anymore. I feel that right now. I would think a lot on how would I kill myself. Finally I made up my mind.. I wasn’t going to hang myself, or cut my throat or wrist. I figured the best way was to over dose. What could happen. I wouldn’t feel the pain. I would just take the pills and go to sleep. No big deal. I would say no one would care. I am just some ugly stupid girl who is stupid and worthless. I am sitting […]
As a teen girl life is and will be hard, not just for girls, boys aswell. I was one of the many that gave into temptation. temptation with drugs, alcohol, sex, relationships. At 14 years old i had been beaten or hit by ex boyfriends and my father, ran away from home three times, each over two weeks long, Been sexually abused 3 times. I have continued to cut and it’s turned from four or five at a time to a couple hundred at a time, i was bulemic. i started to hear and see things, voices and this man. i could feel him, […]
I can’t stop thinking about him. I really can’t control it anymore. To be in love with a person who is partly responsible for the biggest and ugliest scar on my hand, the other part is me. I know the world is laughing at me along with him but i can’t stop.
I tried to hate him instead but after couple of days he would do something nice, just a small gesture and i would forgive him and pretend we are starting all over again as friends. I am aware of all the lies, his twisted personality, and self-destruction. I also know he doesn’t give a […]
hey everyone …..xx
hope you are all well .. <——- that question is so fckn annoying dontcha think .. = of course we are not well dumbass !!
well i know im not – i dont know what to do .. im so lost – numb – sick of my life !… im so scared im confused ..
today ive not really been in touch with reality to be honest – ive not even got washed or dressed – TRAMP ALERT !
May 5 2012 Day 1
Today I had an idea. It is a good idea I think. From this day I will stay sober! There is this really disgusting habit(addiction) I have and I do believe it influenced my life in a way I never imagined. I know I can’t get the girl I love, even if I stay sober now for ever, but I can help myself a lot. I hope my emotional roller coaster will stop. It is not a serious problem, nothing life threating, but my addiction is bad for me. Very bad. I am feeling so sick every time after I lived […]