i’ve always been alone. for as long as remember, i’ve been alone. After what seemed to be a lifetime, I had found someone who knew me as i wanted to be known. I found someone who…loved me as I wanted and needed to be loved. but now, she’s gone. I wake up in the middle of the night crying bitter tears. I cry till my heart gives out and I pass out. I’ve lost the only thing I’ve ever cared about. and it hurts in the deepest broken pieces of my heart.
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alone
I feel weird for posting on here, but I have been visiting this site for months now. This Saturday will mark one year since I was raped. I’m 20 years old and I know many would say that I am so young and I have “so much life” ahead of me. I should have so much life ahead of me, but it was taken from me on that night. I live every day in fear. I can’t be out by myself. I’m paranoid. I’m afraid of the dark to the point where I have to sleep with the lights on….I am 20 fucking years old. […]
I have no one. My best friend don’t give a f* about me. I had a fight with his friend and he forced me to apologize with them even though it wasn’t fault so i sacrifice my dignity and apologized to them. We were best friend before i had a fight with his friends , he stops hanging out with me and left me sit alone in the class . I start to have my lunch alone in the school , feeling helpless in the class . I tried to overdoes paracetamol and ended up vomited all of them out and i never going to […]
Hey guys, i just signed up a few minutes ago and i’m surprised that i’m not alone. I just want to let all of you know, that we’ve got each others back since we’re in the same boat. I hope one day god will grant us the happiness we truly deserve. If not here, then in the afterlife.
Stay strong.
Some of us were meant to live a miserable life and die alone. I use to think if I work hard and be nice to people maybe, just maybe I’d have some sort of hope in this world, but instead I am miserable, alone and almost out iof hope. Burying myself with work only worked for so long. Poetry only gave me a tomorrow, but one run’s out of words and the pain and suffering is hard to endure. The last few years have been challenging, thoughts of suicide constant and love has been obscure and friends have almost disappear. Phoenix Arizona is now a […]
This isn’t exactly a story about an attempted suicide or a failed suicide attempt. I have not experiences none of them but I’m in current fear that I might e sharing my own story of a failed attempt soon – or not.
I have never been diagnosed with depression but I started to self harm 2 years ago. I stopped last year because I told my family (a stupid mistake if I have to be honest) but sine November, I began to feel a bit bad and sad and yeah. By January, I had written that I was suicidal and that I hated life.
I mean, I […]
…Or rather, life when depression is artificially suppressed by a drug called Abilify. It’s pretty good peeps. The weather here in the UK is freaking gorgeous at the moment. Not hot but so mild and balmy, cloudless sky, pollution in the high range here in London apparently but I can’t say I’ve really noticed.
I was getting out and mixing somewhat before, but always driven by desperation, need and fear of the alternative. Now I’m getting out coz I’m kind of excited to meet new peeps and do new things. Went to a local social meet up thing this afternoon, for peeps over 50 with a […]
I know that’s wrong but I can’t do this. I can’t sit here alone all day and stay alive.
Out the door 10.30.
I will stick to what they planned.
Typing that is a bit of a relief.
Peace
Ugh. I hate coming back to my parents house. There always just fighting all the time and just keep reminding me how disappointed they are in me and how much of a fucking freak I am. Thanks mum. Everything here just stresses me out an I feel like I’m gonna explode.
Cats are here though. Hugging them beats staying back alone at my apartment for 2 weeks while I’m off uni I guess.
Dear love, I’m honestly scared. Your voice is everywhere. Are you there? I am not ready for this. There’s so much about you, love, I miss. Do you know that I’m lost? And you left me here on my own. Songs live on but I’m dancing alone. Where is my lullaby? Sometimes I forget you’re gone. You’re all I have, known for so long.
It seems so unfair but the sun still shines and the waves still crash and the wind still blows. I will carry on, what choice do I have?
I’m writing this because I’m thinking of doing something bad. I’ve tried to commit twice before, obviously they both failed. Tonight everything has gone downhill. I have no one to talk to or no where to turn. Everyone has turned against me even though I’ve done nothing wrong. I just wish I could merge with the ground and disappear. It would make so many people happier. I’m a failure that can’t do anything right and I wish I could be a better person. I’m just a lost cause. I’m crying into my laptop right now and I’m confused as hell. Why does everything and everyone […]
I just joined… Have no one to talk to, so here’s my first vent.
Alone and crying, confused since childhood. I’m addicted to the love I never had. I love the ones who don’t love me back. Im stuck in the pain of rejection- for years. I cry for months. Alone in darkness, silent without music. Music haunts my memories. On the outside I wear a smile and life goes on. I move quickly, work hard and keep going. No one knows how I feel inside. They laugh with me and say ‘you’ll be alright’. But at home I cry, all night. My dreams of love […]
Finally done with a horrible relationship and most of the pain that came with it. There are days when I still can’t believe that it has happened and that I am where I am. I am jealous that he has good things and I don’t I constantly compare my life to his. He was a horrible person and yet he has managed to move on find someone who accepts him and cares about him, has good friends, everything I want. I am a better person than him I feel like I deserve those small things more than he does and it is unfair. Someone told […]
So this is my first video so it’s awkward and I apologize; but I decided instead of writing what I’m feeling I’d try doing a video and maybe attempt to let others know….you aren’t alone. Keep surviving.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8N9RFAxBc8
I don’t really know what to do anymore. I tried to kill myself once. I’m sure this time I can do it right. I know what I messed up. I’m just tired of who I am. I’m fat, like 250lbs. I’m ugly. Its obvious. For the longest time I was ok so long as I thought I was intelligent or committed, but I don’t think I am anymore. Sure I was intelligent in High school, but that barely counts now. Not that anything I learned matters, when the only jobs I can get are in a restaurant or a call center.
And now I’m alone. I […]
Life is boring , boring life. why movies, games, anime/manga, & fantasy/imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
life is boring , boring life. why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Marvel / Marvels, Avengers, X-Men, Divergent / Insurgent , Star Wars, The […]
Standing on the shoreline looking out, all I see are blood red seas. The sun doesn’t shine here, so the sky is grey. The land doesn’t want me, so it makes it hard to live. Nature wants me dead. That’s why we all die anyways, it’s natural. But I have survived. Year after year I remain, but it’s just a flash of time anyway. Haha, this is such senseless shit. I’m bored and wish I were more intoxicated than I am
okay, so i was just writing a post that gave everyone all the information that could possibly need and then some about any reason I may have for feeling blue. I had to stop myself mid way because I realized it wasn’t even helping me out. I was boring myself! Instead, what I am going to try to do here is just blurt it all out. Say what I’m feeling, maybe add a reason or two, and then move on to the next whatever comes to mind. I’m hoping this does at least a little something for someone if not for me.
3………………3………………….2………………………………….2……………………………………2……………………………..1…………..GO!
worthless. I […]
I stood on the railing in complete darkness. The glow tape on the stage below gave me an idea of the distance I would be falling. It wouldn’t be enough on it’s own, I’d have to dive head first in order to finish the job. The warmth of the upper level of the theater was comforting in what I thought were my final moments. My balance shifted, causing the thin cuts above my knee to reopen, my blood mixing with the nervous sweat I was covered in.
From this vantage point I could see all parts of the stage. I often came to this very spot […]
I have a lot on my mind lately. Stupid things, really. But I feel very isolated. Unlovable. More and more, I just want to be alone. To sleep or to read. Part of it is that my boys are growing up (21 and 17) and don’t need their mom as much these days (I mean, except for food. And laundry.) My family is not close (honestly, we could fill a Wal-Mart with our crazy) and my friends, well, they don’t want to be that close. Not their fault. My issues run deep and wide. Still, I have always wanted someone for me. A friend, a […]