I think if I were to kill myself people would just expect it from me now. It’s just so odd having a bunch of people you considered best friends for years only see you as a friend if anything, and it really feels forced and you can tell and it makes your heart beat fast and your hands shake when you think about it too much, that as soon as you leave you will be replaced. Maybe I was always meant to be lonely. Maybe it was always meant to be like this.
Tag:
alone
Recently, One of the guys I’ve liked for a long time had told me he loved me and started to give me general sweet talk. He told me we should be together. I eventually broke up with my current boyfriend at the time for this guy. When I did, He told me that It wouldn’t work and that I should go back to my ex. He played me and it honestly broke my heart to hear that. Awhile after that, I took a razor blade across my skin again today. That makes eleven new markings upon my wrist.
I dont know exactly how to word this. Nor do i know why i feel the way i do every single day. Im often wasting my life away, feeling that damn tired feeling that makes me want to lay down and wish for the pain in my heart to stop. I keep asking myself why when the pain consumes my mind, suicide rings like a clear message.
Im a 19 year old, high school graduate male. Bisexual in my tastes, and the abomination the church I once sought comfort in, would now view me if i come out. I’ve never had a relationship. I’m dead scared […]
everyday is like a struggle. A breath I can’t seem to find. When all the pain from last night comes into my mind. All the feelings all the people that I just can’t figure out, I’ve finally found a solution to get my life sorted out. I’ve searched and searched, through this journey of sorrow. I’ve hid and I’ve found, I’ve taken and borrowed. After all this time, I hear Death calling my name. I know I hear it, I know I do, I swear I’m not insane. He comes in the dark, when father closes the door. His voice is scary and sweet, something […]
Your voice was the only thing that could calm me down. When I was on the bathroom floor with a bottle of pills and a cold blade in my hand, you were there. You called me and just hearing your voice made me relax and breath. You changed me but you left. I have no idea who i am anymore or what my purpose is. Im lost without you by my side. I cry everyday at the thought that i wont be hearing your voice before i fall asleep. I wont be hearing your voice when i wake up. I wont be getting any sweet […]
CRITICAL parents, bullies, addictions, mean girls, jealous gossip, scapegoat me you bitches, outcasted, jobless
Hard working, straight Aing, exercising, writing, creating, therapy, friends, faith, graduate degree, PURPOSE, dignity
Shes meek and timid and mousy, she’s a minority who only speaks English, she’s worthless, so TIMID, fucking nice and quiet
Sing, paint, POWERFUL, spiritual, soulful, run, get up and try again, meditate, pray, brush it off, get up, SPEAK UP
Not enough, never enough, never enough, use me, put me in danger, put me down, alone, alone, ALONE, no one understands
No one will hire a wounded healer she said, think positive they said, have a thicker skin they say, have […]
I have pushed away everyone in my life over the last few years; family, friends, significant others…everyone. Why? They don’t understand how I feel inside, how I suffer on a daily basis. They are finding joy in life, so I cast them out and tucked myself away…probably for the best.
Is there such a thing as being to alone? Is there such a thing as a loner finding another loner to be alone with? Does this ever happen? I realize I cannot have a “normal” life with lot’s of family and friends around, but to have just one person, a companion, would make life “normal” for […]
I am so full of hate…despair…anger…hopelessness…desperation…that I feel as though I would explode. and I usually do…and like a black hole’s singularity, I collapse up on my emotions. there I’m lost in the silence that follows the chaos I’m surrounded with,
I’ve longed for death since I was a boy of 10. I don’t know how or why it started, but the darkness in me out grew me. the depression engulfed me. the sadness drowned me.
and in my few sane episodes, I boil with the anger that pushes me to madness. in those moments of my own version of sanity, I look to the […]
Why I have to face myself everyday with depression and anxiety I don’t know, I just wanted to be liked and loved but sadly I never was and it doesn’t help when family members and pets had to die on me, I’m lost and alone an I’ve been contemplating suicide for a long time, I tried once before but my mum came in my room as I was fading out and stopped me before I died, I just don’t know what to do I have a life like everyone else but no one to Love at the same time and no one to love me […]
I still feel is if I’m still to young to complain or feel sorry for myself yet, I get a mixture of guilt and worry.
But, to put it simply, I believe our existence is meaningless, I feel alone, because I am, but that’s not really necessarily true.
I have some family like a mom and errr- dad, but I’ve never viewed them as companions.
I feel alone, no one can understand me, apparently. I wish my ‘depression’ was very simplistic, but it’s because of a fact that can’t be changed.
I just have no one. Iv’e cried lots till I can’t even if I tried.
I always dream of […]
My best friend, my ONLY friend, is dead. Gone. She left me. And I sat there and watched her die. I can’t unsee it . WHY DID YOU TAKE HER FROM ME? WHY HAVE I NOW GOT NO ONE? Stupid car crash. Why did I have to live? I SHOULD BE THE ONE THATS DEAD, NOT HER!!!!
Sara, I will forever love you and I need you. I really need you. I can’t forget you. You are my sister and I don’t understand why you had to go and I get to live.
She is gone. She is not coming back. I’m alone. Not a soul. I […]
It is said that 63% of the autistic people, particularly those with the lower spectrum thinks of suicide. 37% already attempted or died from suicide. I am one of them of the 63%
The feeling of not being accepted is a very painful one. That is the only tip of the iceberg. I have gotten over the fact people will never accept and understand me whoever I want. However, the sad part, I have succumbed to the temptation I am no longer able to accept who I am.
My university friends has been extremely nice to me and encouraging despite my horrible result. […]
Life is cold, I feel alone, even when surrounded by people, I feel like I’m in a different world than them. That I can’t ever have anyone in my life. I’ve been through a lot, went from being a sexually abused boy, to testifying against my father at age 7, lost my family in the process, and now find myself alone. Albeit now I’m a prosecutor now thinking that asking questions in court rather than being asked them would somehow make life ok. I now find myself weary from constantly seeing people at their worst, and dealing with criminals and trying to find justice. However […]
I’m 18 and live with my father. I’m going to community college at the moment, and in order to stay in his home, one of the conditions I must meet is that I have to be pursuing my bachelor’s degree. I first tried nursing which I was extremely passionate about, but I was not making good enough grades to get into the nursing program at the 4 year college that I would attend next. I was making a C in anatomy when they said I had to have an A, and as a result I dropped out and now I’m going for […]
Every day it gets worse and worse, not quickly though… slow, like an hour glass that seems to never end but it does, just so slowly that it seems like it never changes.
Some days I don’t think of it too much, other days are a nightmare and other days at it’s worst i cut. When I’m alone its at it’s worst and yet when I’m alone is the only time I don’t feel alone… if that makes sense, its like when I’m around other people I feel more alone than ever because no one understands, no one wants to know or care and I don’t […]
Everyone else I’m with is checking Facebook and I’m checking suicide project to make sure that I’m not alone in feeling insane!
Fuck me. Sick of this shit.
sometimes you feel alone and lonely even you have a family and friends .you feel you are hurting but nobody feels your pain or try to help you . and sometimes your hard times and your pain comes from these close persons in your life. I know if you tried to suicide you don’t want to die you just want to end up your pain and tell people you need help in an indirect way. I feel I want to shout and scram and tell people how I feel. I don’t know why people change quickly in this time I’m not talking only about […]
I want to just let everyone on SP know that I’m so thankful for you all! We’re all on the same boat and it’s nice to not feel so alone sometimes. I don’t feel crazy here, love ya’ll. xoxo
I don’t know how much longer i can keep faking a smile. Whether it be at school, home, with friends and family I don’t think i can keep it up much longer. I might end up running away and never coming back..
I don’t know what to do. I bet nobody would care or notice if I left anyways
Why don’t I pack up and leave for good? :/ I am alone as it is anyways….
It’s not like I think everyone hates me although I have never been loved by anyone except the people that are obligated to do so. We can’t choose our family someone once told me. If we could…would I have been chosen at all? I know that my absence will be a momentary sadness. I have been alone for so long. Fading in between the lines of their book. Into the crowd, just a forgotten ghost. I don’t even know how to handle company outside of family. Before it perturbed me deeply. But now I prefer to be alone. It is safe, predictable even if the […]