I have been cutting for about three months now. I cut my wrists, legs and stomach. I have been very good at hiding them, at least I thinks so, but now I have a problem. I’m sick therefore not going to school and left alone at home for the day. My mom’s friend is a doctor and my mom asked her to come over and check upon me, find out why I’m sick and how to recover. I’m so scared that the doctor is going to make me undress, because I’ve been to doctors loads of times before I started self harming and many times […]
Tag:
alone
it seems far away but close by. while my meds are helping me think of it less day by day the universe resists. A friend from college committed suicide last week. It’s taking some time to hit me and i still don’t know if I have it for real. I lit some candles. went to the wake, saw the body. But I still can’t. I can’t describe how i feel or what I’m thinking. I know that before in my head I would laugh when i thought about killing myself. I don’t laugh anymore. It’s not that it feels more real or less real but […]
I only have one person in my life. Its my boyfriend. He spends most of his time at football and we live 500 miles away because of the college he’s going to. I haven’t seen him in a few months. My mom and dad used to abuse me so I was taken away and put into an orphanage. I was adopted when I was 8 years old. I spent 3 years in the orphanage. My mom and dad were taken to jail. My mom had a shorter sentence than my dad. She tries to contact me daily. I’ve tried to kill myself multiple times. I’m […]
I’m typing this here because I have no one to talk to. I happened to read a post with a situation similar to mine. I’m not alone. I don’t live alone. But I am alone. I cry a lot because I don’t feel good about myself. I’m tired. Nothing traumatic happened in my life. I was raised by strict God-fearing parents and I have two sisters. I don’t want to blame the way I feel on the way i was raised. I was homeschooled., but unlike most kids and teenagers, I didn’t really have any friends. I’m an adult now. I don’t even have a […]
Well, I am in my final year of my studies. I somehow managed to scrape through the first 3 years but I honestly I don’t know how. This is my 4th year and I have no clue what I have been doing. For 4 years I have not progressed at all. Apart from going to lectures, I spend all my time in my room watching anime, reading or playing games. I have suffered chronic depression for as long as I can remember as well as social anxiety. I hated school beyond words, the worst part about school was break time. I never had anyone to […]
Into the pits
It hurt so much
Why am I so alone
Down and chained
Nowhere to escape
I want to be a dark
A dark dragon of the sun
Take me to the time chamber in nature
Such unfathomed spectrum a true warrior of Z
I’m dead and dark Son-Goku and you’re Piccolo
Friends like Mario and Yoshi
How can we conquer back the world, together
I can go now, I have a Nimbus
Can you be the other Bulma
For sometime I believed suicide was wrong and that what they say is true its only for a spell. But I doubt that now, I have watched several videos were people committed suicide and I felt their pain and cried. I guess for so long I thought I was alone and I said nothing but I see we all cry and no one says anything. I think just as we make our path we can decided to leave. No one wants to be alone and hurt, everyone wants to be hugged and loved, but I guess God or whom ever is up their only gave […]
I wonder if anyone’s ever met their husband or wife on a site like this. It’s kind of funny to think about. I don’t want to be one of those posts that tell you my whole story that ultimately leads up to why I’m depressed, suicidal, whatever. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. What do you guys like to do? What kind of stuff makes you happy, and why? What stresses you? I like to listen to music and talk about politics. Dogs and camping make me happy. Church makes me really uncomfortable. I quit public school because it made me have a mental […]
living alone… not knowing if my love will ever be back… I just wanna die.
This is me. Nothing in life. There is no life. Not for me. I float day to day. Do what needs to be done. Go to work. Take care of my kitties. Talk to my mom and brother on occasion. I bide my time. Sometimes when I’m driving around I just wish that a truck would smash into me and obliterate me. With my luck, and my sturdy car, if it did happen, I’d survive, broken and bruised.
I get anxiety at night. Nearly impossible to ignore urges to jump into my car and just take off, or drive to a cliff and just fukin jump […]
My entire life I waited for something some blessing some good luck never got it. I was the girl who went to prom alone you know the nerd girl no one wanted. I have dated but all ended badly. I have a set of twins by a man who raped me. I was forced to keep them looking back I regret that as well. The father does nothing so here it is I am alone raising kids I never wanted. My other relationship ended just as bad the twins father said the man I was about to marry raped the children. So I have been […]
I remember everything that day.. the fight, the feelings of apathy from people who I thought cared about me, and the last song I heard before I went into my coma. The day started out normal with the exception of me waking up late and having to take a quick shower before class. My roommate made it well-known that she was pretty irritated by my actions because she wouldn’t even speak to me the entire day. I tried to ignore it, but the caring person I am tried to fix whatever she was upset about. When I came home, she was downstairs and I knew […]
I know there are endless threads on this topic but I can’t seem to find a consistent answer. Does anyone know of a painless way to commit suicide (either from research or from a painless past overdose)? I do not know if I will get a response and if I do receive one I am not looking for some form of moral support. I understand that there is much to take out of life and that, as the 15 year old I am, I have not yet experienced many of the joys life has to offer, but I have suffered for too long. Medications and […]
Today was the day that I was supposed to die, but I have failed once again. All week I have been getting my affairs in order, and I was finally ready to depart from this world. I woke up, went to my one and only class, and left class feeling completely and utterly at ease, and at peace with what I was about to do. My letter was written, I had said my goodbyes, I was ready. I drove home from class, and started tearing up a little bit in the car, but that quickly subsided when I realized that everything […]
This is for you, I read your last post, titled “Love”. I hope this will shed some light on the subject.
In fact a mature person does not fall in love, they rise in love. The word ‘fall’ is weak. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have […]
lol i just realized how bad i’ve fucked shit up. And how much of an over sensitive prick i am especially with my friends. And that i get sad over the dumbest things that i shouldn’t even be sad about. And that i’m confused about a lot of things.
and i hate that i feel so damn hopeless and i hate my family and i hate the fact that my mum makes me so sad and i hate that i can’t talk to anyone or i don’t have anyone. And i realized how alone i actually am.
And i also hate the fact that i sound […]
Once life was good. I was happy. Happy enough. But I ruined it. Now my days are spent in silence, alone, dreaming of the past, wishing for it all to have turned out differently. I despise the present of long awful days lost in sadness. I dread the hopelessness infecting every second of every day. I’ve tried to be happy since. I have moments of contentment, of distraction, but it never lasts. I spend all my time alone, afraid, anxious, and miserable. I cry often. I sob and I pace with my hands cradling my head. All my joy is gone. Any passion I once […]
I can’t do this anymore, I really truly can’t. The stress is too much. The pressure is too much. Everyone expects too much from me, when I can barely even get out of bed in the morning anymore. To my family I am just a failure because I can never meet their expectations. To my friends, I am a burden to have around because I suck the life out of anyone who is near me. I ruin everything that I touch beyond repair, and I am nothing more than a pathetic waste of space. I shouldn’t be on […]
How did I get here again? Ugh! I feel like I am never going to break free of this damn soul-disease that makes me hate myself. I feel numb and just want this continual emotional battle that I have going on inside of my head to just give it a rest and leave me alone already! How many more relationships do I sabotage? I have no friends and that is because I don’t want any. I believe that if someone gets to know the real me that they won’t be very impressed-so I push everyone away. I am not close to my parents and I […]
I’m a good person, overall I don’t think there’s anything I do which is bitchy or dishonest. I really do live by the golden rule. Treat people how you want to be treated. I’m not even exaggerating. I really do.
I am quite a shy person. It come from a result of bullying throughout my childhood and onto my teenage years. Actually the first year of my life that I wasn’t bullied was when I was 17. (I’m in my mid 20’s now) Sometimes I wonder if I have some sort of social disorder, because even now I find it hard to connect and trust people.