This is for you, I read your last post, titled “Love”. I hope this will shed some light on the subject.
In fact a mature person does not fall in love, they rise in love. The word ‘fall’ is weak. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have the integrity to stand alone.
A mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, they give without any strings attached to it: they simply give. When a mature person gives love, they feel grateful that you have accepted their love, not vice versa. They do not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, they do not even need your thanks. They thank you for excepting their love. When two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they are together so much so they are almost one. But their oneness does not destroy their individuality, in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual.
Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate the person you love? Just think it over. Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity. How can you think of dominating the person you love? You would love to see that person totally free, independent; you will give them more individuality. That’s why I call it the greatest paradox: they are together so much so that they are almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their individualities are not effaced – they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.
Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, creat a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.
I hope this brings you a bit of comfort, knowing now that this type of love does indeed exists. It’s out there.
2 comments
Very idealistic. Have you found that kind of love? How long has the relationship lasted? I agree with the freedom and growing beyond the ‘in love’ stage, but relationships do take a lot of work and compromise. Personally, I would have trouble extending the freedom to be intimate with others to my lover, for both emotional and health reasons. Most humans aren’t made that way.
Unfortunately, I don’t believe humans are capable of ‘unconditional love’. Not in modern day. Greed and selfishness rule our minds. I’ve never personally been in a relationship as what I’ve stated above. In all honesty I’ve never actually been ‘in love’.
When I talked about freedom, of course there are boundaries. I don’t mean it in a literal sense, more emotionally tied, liberating one another from the prisons, letting them be ‘free’, could mean a great number of things. I definitely didn’t mean to make it sound like polyamory.