I’m so alone. I miss my best friend. She was all I had. And now that she’s gone I have nobody. Nobody to tell me that they care about me. Nobody to comfort me when I’m hurt. And nobody to talk to. I have messed up another one of my friendships. I’ve lost my only friend and its all my fault. I just want my best friend back. I’m sorry, Nikki.
-End
Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..
So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…
My day was even worse than usual. It started off when I walked to the library to wait gor the bell to ring. I sat by some people who I knew because they were in a few of my classes. When I sat down, the guy I sat next to looked at me and said, “Theres reasons why I don’t like you. So why are you sitting next to me?” This might not have bothered most people, but it sure bothered me. It was just another person reminding me that nobody cares about me. The whole day what he said to me was stuck in […]
The chances I have a mental breakdown, or at least say something regretable, in my class tomorrow (I call it Bullshit 101) is way too high.
There is only so much bullshit and stupidity I can deal with. Â I don’t have a very high tolerance normally, but this is ridiculous. Â I feel like I might explode. Â I am so tired of hearing people whine about things they know nothing about, or assume that my opinion or the source of my facts is wrong simply because it doesn’t coincide with theirs. Â “Oh, that’s not what I heard.”
I’m actually crying. Â A rare occurrence for me.
I have an incredible […]
Two more days, and then Thanksgiving. My husband and I declined an invitation to visit his dysfunctional family. It is an hour drive, all to stuff food and negative conversations into our stomachs and minds. With one economic and personal crisis after another closing in, our lives are in shambles. Even the gas prices to hit the road for an obligatory visit, are too much. Bringing something to drink, contributing food…it all adds up and we can’t afford the cost, emotionally or financially.  Also, this crowd eats as though every meal is their last. I savor each bite. They are clobbering the dessert before I […]
I posted on here nearly a year ago, when I was fifteen. Well, I’m sixteen now, and things have not improved in the least.
My dad is still an angry, violent alcoholic. My mom still stands behind him. I still come home with outstanding grades, only to be put down by my parents, saying it still isn’t good enough. That I’m not even trying.
Here’s the thing; I actually haven’t been trying. I can’t anymore. The depression has turned. I used to cry a lot, and reach out to friends when I was at my worst. Now, I don’t feel much of anything. I have no motivation, […]
I don’t even know what to do. I know he loves me, deep down. When he’s drunk he tells me that he loves me and that he’d take a bullet for me. But thats the only time he does. When he’s drunk. He used to tell me all the time, we’ve been together for 9 months and I love him so much. I have caught him out sending dirty messages to other girls before and he’s always said sorry to me. But the other week I saw a message to a girl he met in a club telling her she was really pretty and he […]
Im 13, i live in britian in a country called scotland. A few years ago everything was amazing, i had my family and my friends i loved live. In 2007 is where everything started to get worse, one of my grandfathers passed away and three months later my other grandfather took a sudden heart attack and died. Then i started losing constantrition at school, i couldnt think, i didnt want to have friends. A few boys bullied me, id get called lots of names, when i started high school, everything was okay, i was poplaur, everyone seemed to really like me it was good i […]
i’m 14 and i have attempted suicide 4 times in the past year. i was sexually abused by my grandad for 6 years, i get bullied at school, i get beat up a lot and i’m classed as a emo. i have no friends, i used to have friends but they’re dead now… i was 11 when i was first raped and made to watch my best friend be raped and beaten to death, i was then beaten and ended up in hospital. i’ve been raped more than 12 times and i slit my wrists because the pain is kinda a escape and it takes my mind off […]
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.†– George Carlin
Hail George.
he’s right.
fucking humans who like to over-complicate everything with all their ‘systems’ and rules and BS.
Money sucks. I hate how everything now is revolving all around it, and oh, of course: profits.
I don’t feel like I belong in this fucking boring all-about-money-and-profits world.
After 2012, if nothing happens, I might plan my own suicide.
bye bye crazy world,
maybe I do belong to another world/dimension/life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW4x4gswm-o
“Tsubasa wo Kudasai” (Please Give Me Wings)
Lyrics translation:
“If I could have my wish come true right now
I’d want to have wings
Please place wings on this back
like a bird
I want to spread my wings
and fly in these heavens
To the free sky with no sadness
I want to flutter my wings and fly
Even now, I don’t need money nor fame,
what I want are wings!
The things I dreamt as a child,
I still dream about them today!
I wan’t to spread my wings
and fly into this wide sky!
I want to flap my wings and fly to this
free sky filled […]
“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it.” – Agent Smith (The Matrix)
Perhaps to the contrary of what many of you would think here,
I am actually live from a quite healthy & “normal” situation/environment, eg:
– I am born from a quite loving, and healthy family. My childhood was a quite happy ones, with lots of traveling here & there.
– I am from a quite middle-to-upper class family, which can be said, I’m pretty much okay/well-off, albeit not super/very-rich.
– I even went to all those what “normal” society would call “great routes” in life like: great education & school overseas (in U.S, “The Land of the Dream” for immigrant people like me, which is […]
With so much pain and suffering here, I know that some of the writers will have achieved their desire to leave this world. Does anyone know the stats? Are there any forum members you know who have died at their own hand. I suspect its a small number. Hope you are one of the ones who gets better and doesnt need us anymore. For myself, my plan has taken 30 years to form enough that I am ready. I have the helium, have my letters written, the place selected. Just waiting for a chance to be alone. How will you know if I am successful. […]
I’ve felt this way before. A raw ache in the pit of my stomach. A crushing need to rip myself open and destroy what’s inside. I want to burn until even the ashes are gone. The pain is so urgent. The need to end it is so great. I try to ignore it. Push it away. Bury it. Pretend it’s all okay. Be the person I’m supposed to be.
Get up, take a shower, get dressed, go to work. Do my job with a smile. Be friendly. Be outgoing.
(But never let anyone get too close. Don’t let them see the pain. Don’t let them see the […]
I hope 2012 come quickly, because this real world is too goddamn boring. I mean, what’s so interesting with all the “stock prices goes up, stock prices goes down, profits goes up, profits goes down”, and then on the other side you have party-poopers dumbwits kind of crowd.
I also hate like majority of humans as they’re usually dumb and ignorant, and prefer to have fun, party, have sex, seeking profits & money, rather than care about the continuation of civilization & humanity progress, basically, the things that REALLY MATTERS.
So hope HUGE catastrophe come! kill ’em all!
I for one never feel like I belong in […]
Hello all, I think I am writing this more for myself than anything. I feel as if I can’t talk to anyone truthfully about my thoughts and feelings as if I am going to be judged, and judged negatively. Hard to start, what I can say right now is, that after finally seeking help I don’t contemplate suicide as much anymore.
I don’t remember when it all started. It’s not like I tripped over life and ended up in a steam pile of depression, it happened gradually. I do remember though a few times hinting and thinking about suicide, but blew it off as stupid thinking. […]
…about this world and the REAL “Reality” we’re all living in,
that’s been hidden intentionally by ‘The-Powers-That-Be’ (ie: governments, Top people, CIAs, big corporate execs, even Vatican priests and a lot of religious leaders all around the world!).
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread523618/pg1
Just read it for yourself
take the “red pill” and travel deeper down the “rabbit hole”.
Conclusion: we are really living in the Matrix. that the ‘higher-up’ governments etc DON’T want us “ordinary people” to know, so they can keep CONTROLLING us!
No wonder the “real-world” sucks…’cuz it’s NOT the REAL Reality!
We’ve all been lied up by the “higher” authority figures, straight from when we’re childhood entering school!
Expand […]
I think I’m waiting to die…I wake up and all i think about is the end of the day.  THE only time I’m happy is when i sleep.  When i think about killing myself…i don’t think about is a WRONG…i think of it a solution.  A solution to the problem of my pathetic life.  Everyone in my life thinks I’m just PERFECT…but I’m not so far…I feel like I’m a BRAND NEW CAR…running on cheap water-downed gas.  So I’m waiting…WAITING for GOD to take me away from here.  I wouldn’t mind if it was painful…SOMETIMES i think i cant feel any EMOTIONS…i feel cold and dark inside…I don’t think i could […]
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