Tag:

am

i don’t want attention, i just want someone to listen.

by herecomestheavalanche 2/17/2016

written by herecomestheavalanche

this is a cry for help.

it’s not a yelp for attention, for sympathy, for flowers and hugs and cards.

it’s a plea, to see me, to notice that i exist.

i feel like the world is listing, tilting slowly towards the tipping point. i pray to god above that the earth will straighten itself out, and that all the anger and hate in me turns back into the love it once was.

i want to go to the hospital, but i have too many commitments in my life right now. actually, scratch that, i don’t want to go to the hospital; doing that is a sign that i […]

2/17/2016 2 comments

Say whaaat?

by headupunderdarkcloud 2/12/2016

written by headupunderdarkcloud

I wake up today feeling much more like my old self, but just dumb-founded where that self finds, er, itself. How did we wind up here? It really makes no sense to me now. How could I not have just followed the path I was on before? It’s like I couldn’t stand the idea of stability, and so just constantly interrupted and disrupted any and everything that at any time was going smooth.

Had a house, had a girl, somewhat had a job, but still couldn’t find satisfaction. Maybe it was in part still coming to terms with past and present demons, Dad killing himself, mom […]

2/12/2016 2 comments

by Sui_RC 2/12/2016

written by Sui_RC

If you knew that no one misses you, and noone would miss you when you are gona, except maybe those who are biologically programmed to, like parents etc. What would you do?

Off late this has been a reccurring thought. Cus i am that person you know, whos there, like whos not making the world better , or the person who is never gonna make a difference, the person who just exists. For no reason. Like a speck of dust floating around.

What would happen if i do get the guts to kill myself, not that i ever would, but i like to think about it a […]

2/12/2016 2 comments

hearing voices as thoughts

by princessxx 2/10/2016

written by princessxx

Can someone explain to me if i am hearing voices?

2/10/2016 9 comments

Cold

by Zetsumei 2/4/2016

written by Zetsumei

I’m tired of this cold world. For you to reject my offered hand with a slap, you’ve made your point clear.

I’ll be leaving later but know this… I would’ve tried my best to keep you afloat. I wouldn’t give up until I got you ashore. I would’ve gave you CPR for as long as you needed. If none of that was possible, I would’ve drowned with you in the icy, cold water, instead of drowning alone like I currently am.

Whatever. It doesn’t matter, anyway. I’m going to trade this cold for something warmer soon… Even if it is burning.

2/4/2016 6 comments

it comes and it goes

by herecomestheavalanche 1/31/2016

written by herecomestheavalanche

i have so much to be grateful for, but i’m extremely depressed.

i have a great good okay life, i have food to eat, clean water, a roof over my head, clothes to wear, and money to spend.

i am just incredibly lonely.

every time i try to reach out, i get rejected, bitten, cast aside. in private and in public.

no one ever contacts me, unless they want/need something from me. i haven’t spoken a single word to a single person since i left work on thursday night.

according to the world, i have no feelings, no emotions, and deserve not one ounce of care from anyone other than myself.

if […]

1/31/2016 2 comments

e m p t y

by darkest_souls 1/29/2016

written by darkest_souls

i feel empty

i feel nothing

i feel like nothing

there’s a void

a hole

and i don’t know how to fill it

how to fill this hole inside me

so deep

and dark

i feel no fear

i feel no sadness

i feel no happiness

no life

who am i???

1/29/2016 6 comments

A Daylight

by HeartLies 1/26/2016

written by HeartLies

I woke up this morning seeing the bright light from the sun.It was 11:11 am,I must’ve drink too much alcohol last night that I feel a lil’bit tipsy this morning.I was talking to a friend in which I have lied about something,still,she can’t decide if she’s going to stay or not I think I deserve it anyway.I lied to people who cared and accepted me.Im a bullshit.She might stay or not,nothing will change I’m still going to be free on Feb 1,in the arms of death I’ll find comfort.

1/26/2016 1 comment

damaged

by potential2 1/26/2016

written by potential2

Where is the sunshine?
The end of the pain?
Because I am damaged,
I can’t stand in the rain.

The skies have been dark.
The wind is still whipping.
How am I standing?
What keeps me from tipping?

Because i am damaged,
My limbs tatered and broken,
The life that lived in me
Is now slowly chokin (g).

The storm pushes on with violence and fury.
My leaves are all falling,
Like the snow in a flurry.

No where to turn,
No where to go.
Im beat up, run down, and standing alone.
Even in this forrest that i call my home.

Ive always been told “You’re full of potential”.

1/26/2016 2 comments

Charity

by 200085 1/26/2016

written by 200085

My grandmother just calld me and was talking to me about getting a bunch of stuff for me. Im sure for a lot of people its easy to just say ok and take it, but there has to be other people here who feel differently. Not just because of pride but also because its like dealing with a double eged sword. If you dont take it your pretty much offending the person whos trying to help you, but if you do take it then your a pathetic charity case who just acts this way to get what they want out of people. I know im […]

1/26/2016 1 comment

trapped

by jasal 1/25/2016

written by jasal

i am trapped between suicide and survival. i want to die because i cannot live. but there are so many obstacles, and i am so tired… i don’t want to do anything substantial. i want to lay on the road and let someone else do all the work, but that would be incredibly selfish of me. (i know we’re not supposed to talk about methods, but that’s also a terrible method. don’t try it.) i want to fall asleep in the tub. sometimes i think about driving to the ocean and swimming until i can’t anymore, but i’m too afraid of the water. i feel […]

1/25/2016 3 comments

Why im here

by firefly2411 1/24/2016

written by firefly2411

It just hit me why im here … I just want to be able to talk to people who can relate and not just be ignored .. Ive been thinking a lot lately of doing self harm but i never get enough guts to do it … I dont know if im depressed but i feel like i am… Its so hard to live a life where everyone you care about ignores you or simply breaks your heart .. I really want to talk to people and for once not be ignored?

1/24/2016 1 comment

Protected: Kat almost wakes up the whole house.

by whiskered-fish 1/20/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

1/20/2016 3 comments

The only way out

by Azure11 1/14/2016

written by Azure11

I have to end it now I cant stand breathing anymore. I’m going to make all my notes and from now on am going to spend my time making notes and looking for ways on how to end it. I’m sorry I just can’t fight anymore, I’m done….

1/14/2016 6 comments

Insomnia

by Luke 1/12/2016

written by Luke

1/12/2016 3 comments

dont want to be here anymore

by frankenstand 1/8/2016

written by frankenstand

i am lost in this physicial world of existance and not even jesus can save me because i dont need spuritual ..I am worthless at least that’s what they have told me…living homeless on and off for twenty five yrs isn’t fun and am quite sick of it now… shattered both my legs in Oct 6th of 2000…left me a gimp..and no one is willing to help a poor homeless gimp out…I am a cowered I can’t even take my own life I am ashamed at who I’ve become lost my mom at the age of fifteen…brother abused me when I was ninenine,ten, and eleven…father and […]

1/8/2016 3 comments

Sorry

by beaubri 1/7/2016

written by beaubri

I’m sorry I haven’t been here for a month. I wont get into detail.

But I’ve though a lot and it’s gotten me this far.

I miss sp though, I miss everyone here. I’ve been working a lot, and drinking. It’s been depressing me. And not to mention it’s that time of year again for my depression to settel in. My birthday is in a few days, january 11th. And I’m not looking forward to it.

I was depressed this week, I still am. But I hide it very well from the real world. I all usually winds up at the end of the night that I despise […]

1/7/2016 2 comments

Tired of my life….don’t want to live at all.

by Honi 1/5/2016

written by Honi

I am a student, and older than my other classmates it makes me feel so much inferior that sometimes i dont like to go to classes, and secondly i look older than my age that is an issue too. one of our teacher calls us daily at the podium and asks us to discuss that is highly embarrassing for me facing daily cause my english is not good. a lot of things i have to face daily in class, sometimes i feel to end my life. not able to find any way out. i have backlogs that i have to clear in near future, there […]

1/5/2016 4 comments

First hit of 2016

by Sui_RC 1/3/2016

written by Sui_RC

I just realised. I mean not just, this has been coming for some time now.
I am unlovable.
Unlikable. Umamicable. Unsocial, rather extremely selectively social.

But what i am is pitiable.

And all my friend, the two people i have gotten close with, well, one got bored and we went apart, and the other only sticks with me cus she pities me.

1/3/2016 3 comments

Ok. This gets real.

by notsureifreadytogo 1/3/2016

written by notsureifreadytogo

I stopped posting here while i waited for some supplies. I got things situated and waited. So here’s the story.
Tonight, i drove an hour and a half to pick up 100$ worth of high grade heroin. Ive never done it before in my life. My daughter is with my mother, i am home alone. I am cleaning house and organizing things to be found that need to be found. The grief that struck me in the truck on the way home was like nothing I’ve experienced in my life. I have my death in my pocket. To stand on the precipice, look down, and […]

1/3/2016 14 comments

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