I don’t really know what else i can do anymore. Cameron died almost exactly a year ago (September 8 2013) and I am STILL not over it. I’ve gone to all the groups, I’ve been hospitalized for PTSD, I’ve got a new boyfriend who treats me like gold, I go out, I don’t talk about it all the time anymore. What else can I do to make it feel better.
The thing you have to know is Cameron and I were very much in […]
Writing helps calm me down.
I don’t know why, but it does.
I’m writing right now, because I’m under severe stress.
They’re still fighting as I’m writing this lol
Well guys, let me tell you my story :v
I mean if you bother even to read it haha
Well, my Dad’s a gambler. he lost all the money in the household and now we’re broke. Like BA-ROKE.
My mom’s suicidal. She always tells me how she just wants to stop living and attempted suicide multiples of times infront of me, and my siblings.
Well, me, I’m just a kid going through highschool
I have a little brother […]
I’m not expecting much. There’s little risk here.
A man jumps from the tenth story of a building. A crowd gathers – though not too close – to the scene of the act. You always need one person to alarm the ambulance; perhaps one to call the police, too. Â I’d recommend someone to clean up the mess.
The rest are mere witnesses. In all, a heartbreak for a few, an inconvenience for some, perhaps an envious end for others.
Now, there is someone else: the person looking down from the ledge. It’s hard to see them, as they’re so high up. There’s the obvious distraction down below, as […]
There is just something about causing pain to oneself that is so beautiful. Cutting has always been my out. But it’s been taken away from me in a difficult way.Â
Two years ago my life was changed forever. The person I thought was everything to me tore my heart out and never gave me a reason behind it all. Â We had been best friends for 7 years and together for 4 years. We were always together for everything. After he refused to have anything to do with me, I decided to take things into my own hands. I was living on my friends couch because being […]
Today, I explained my non-intervention policy to one of the people I tentatively (for lack of a better term) call a friend. (Being more concerned with what they perceive as my interests than the interests themselves, I don’t think they can be termed “allies” precisely. So I use the word “friend” rather loosely, although I suppose it would be more accurate to say “one of those people I hang about constantly whom I happen to know”.) I interfere (interact, I suppose) with people as little as possible and would appreciate if they showed the same consideration to me.
She confronted me with the question: What if […]
Today I was seconds away from ending my life. What changed my mind I still do not know.
After 10 years of SEVERE deppresion I am tired, I am tired of it all. I am exhausted.
I tried fighting back for year after year. Medications and therapy(many different therapists) for 10 years and I have not moved a single step forward. Not one step..
2 years ago I gave up. After 8 years of trying I was tired of fighting and in the end i realised I am never going to feel joy again. Â I gave up hope.
I have always had suicidal thoughts for as long as I […]
If all goes well, I’ll be all right. If not, I’m gonna plan when to kill myself. What if I don’t do it? That’ll be decided when I put my plan into action. I won’t do it in my own home, I’ll do it at the person’s place, who I wish to spite, because they laughed at me today when I was telling my doctor something serious. So, if I choose to euthanise myself, it’ll be at their house, so that if they get time to save me, they can call the ambulance, and maybe they’ll feel less psychopathic towards me. Then again, affter this […]
The truth I hold, took years to unfold, locked up and never told. Now I speak, for I am done being weak. A story I will tell, awakening the pits of my hell.
 Pinned against the wall, being six a little small. Tongue against my chest, you can imagine the rest. Touching, feeling, my eyes rolling to the ceiling. I push away, forced down, screaming, but i was never found.
 Day and night, always full of fright kissing, sucking, nonstop fucking. Crying, weeping and always pleading.
Was I that bad of […]
Yeah, because finding you dead, being shocked at what they see, calling your name, not hearing your voice, trying to wake you up, not feeling your warm skin or breath anymore, freaking out, shouting for help, crying, trying to get you to talk to them again, asking if you’re okay, wondering why you refuse to at least tell them to fuck off, calling the paramedics over, calling the cops, family friends and neighbors are now like WTF, the medics put their compassion to 300% for everyone’s sakes, the police give their part to determine malicious intent or otherwise, they try breathing life into you, they […]
Hi,
I am new to this sight, but wanted to share just a bit to those who are considering suicide. As a bit of background, I am a nearly 60 woman with 4 grown kids and 3 grandkids, married to the same man for over 40 years, upper middle class, fairly attractive, intelligent, witty, talented and loved. But last year all hell broke lose…..
My first time in the hospital was in Dec 2011, I self checked in because I had become obsessive about suicide and was tempting fate with pills, a loaded gun, knife to wrist and other dangerous and fatal things and ideas. I didn’t REALLY want […]
Hey to everyone here on SP. going to start by saying how much I admire the strength you all have for reaching out to a site like this. I’ve been reading for a while, but never registered. I wish i had done it a long time ago. I’m at my fourth year in college, and I suppose in retrospect of my life, it’s always been a steady emotional decline, with small spikes of good big enough to keep me from noticing the downhill, but small enough to keep me from thinking things would really improve in the long run. I ran in front of a […]
Crying alone
Curled up in a ball
No one there to comfort you, no one at all
You sit their waiting
All you want is to be loved
As you cut yourself gently
You sore like a dove.
The joy comes at a price
As you slice
You’re loosing part of yourself
To the darkness in your head
As the monsters grow stronger
You grow weak
And feel sleepy
You close your eyes
To take a short nap
As your parents walk in
And scream
As they see there precious baby
Covered in blood shivering on the floor
They call an ambulance
But your far to gone
And finally you’re […]
Okay guys update on how I am today I suppose:
Well last night my mother called 911 on me, she said I needed help and I was too fucked up for her to be taking care of. The ambulance and paramedics arrived at my house and I was taken against my will to the hospital. I am hooked up to this life support machine, I was told that if my mother hadn’t called I would be as good as dead.. They have put me back on my antidepressants and I’m under constant surveillance if its not family its “friends” or doctors.
Yeah well I feel […]
Starting off im a male, 21 years old, names not important. Basically my story is my life isnt as bad as others im sure of that but yet I feel this tremendous pain inside me. Im currently in college to become an architect best in my class and have already had job offers. All this but I come from a not so nice family wanted to get away from them ive had problems with this in the past I’ve been to therapy for this whole wanting to commit suicide since I was young about 13. Its a little funny cause my parents used to […]
I haven’t posted for a while,
Not a lot has changed I’ve began to see a psychologist again. But the reasons for that boil down to the decision I made on last weekend.
I couldn’t cope anymore, as my last post states.. I didn’t know if I would attempt again.. But something set me off on Friday.
At first I tried to squash the thought out of my head..
But it kept coming back. It felt just like any other day lately.. Dull, boring and grey. I walked into the pharmacy at the end of my street, placed my script on the bench and nodded at […]
I am writing this not so much so people can comment, but because I know writing it down makes it a little easier and I find it alot easier to show/talk about this to strangers rather than feeling like I’m a nuisance to my friends. Also, I’m just going to stick to the main events, seeing as the others aren’t that important.
Last year I had a suicidal friend. He was like a brother to me and after the first time he told me he felt suicidal, I could tell the signs for the future. When I could see the signs or if he told me […]
I fell asleep before I could actually do it.. Then I wome up, and my mom was home. I didnt want to take the chance of her walking in and finding me unconcous and calling an ambulance.. She has a couple weeks off from work so.. Im still here. Im such a fuck up, I even fucked my own suicide up.
Hi,
I’m new here, and I wanted to share my story. Â My name’s Em, and I’m 21. Â A year ago tomorrow, I tried to kill myself by taking the biggest overdose I’ve ever taken. Â I’d lost the will to live, I believed I had nothing to carry on for and I just wanted to end it all. Â My relationship with my partner had come to an end, I’d lost most of my friends, all of my family, I had no source of income, my work training had finished and I had nothing to hold on to. Â I was depressed anyway and having nothing good to focus […]
im just writing down my lifestory shortly and i wont go into details.
i grew up on a farm. well i lived on a farm for 14 years. my dad used to force me to watch him kill sheep’s for dinner. he wanted me to learn how to shoot them in a painless way. the first time i watched wasn’t that bad. it went quick. it died in a split second. the second time. a year or a half later my dad got drunk. really drunk and dragged me into the barn and shot a sheep and yelled that i had to learn this by now. […]
So I have a kinda long story of my life but here goes:
So when I was 1yrs old my mom went to the hospital for back surgery, the doctors forgot to clean their tools from the previous surgery they have done and my mom got an infection affecting her spinal cord causing her to go blind and have short term memory lost. And I only saw my dad on the weekends because my mom and dad split up as soon as I was born and my dad had 3 of my brothers to take care of. So I had to live with my […]
Please log in to report posts