My name is Jammy, I used to write a lot, i used to read a lot, i used to draw, paint and climb everything i looked, I also used to pull my hair, crash my head against the wall or fight my siblings when i was mad, and all nights i used to cry until i felt asleep, Mom couldn’t look at me when she came tired from work so she used to send me to the backyard at nights, first I was scared (just as every kid would) but then I start it to like, i enjoyed it being there but that wasn’t normal […]
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I often found myself on this site, in my darkest days when i’d thought i didn’t want to live anymore. I have tried to kill myself 3 times by overdose. I just can’t describe the feeling i have to anyone, i literally battle every single day of my life with suicidal thoughts. Next year i will be 20 and i have never felt loved by anyone in my entire life, sure i have a boyfriend and to the outside world he probably seems caring and loving, yet somethings missing. I have told him the way i feel and the things that i feel would make […]
We dated for awhile then we were just friends things got messed up we hurt each other helped each other we met on here and you’ve been wanting to die just like I before we ever met I think. You really did it this time and i hope you didn’t im crying so hard I know you were in so much pain and I couldn’t fix you I tried so fucking hard and you even said you can’t be fixed I love you I hope you’re feeling peace for once
what is a permalink? it appeared out of nowhere i did not put it there… hello how are you doing? i hope you are alright. i thought about this place now because i am going to put an end on it and i would like someone to know it i want to say it i want to say it to someone who is not going to lock me up and say i am crazy i know i am insane i’ve had enough i am not even distressed i know what i should do and i am calm i already told my mom i am going […]
first time on here im a 17 year old guy about to fail high school with depression and a suicide attempt i used to cut and i saw some lose the battle but im still going, but im getting weak and i dont think if i fall one more time i will be able to get up. im alone in this world and i want to leave it.
Today I found out for sure that my girlfriend was cheating on me.
I have battled depression in the past, sadly each time it seems to centre around a female. I am now 23, 24 in a bit more than a week. I guess I will start.. at the start…
I was only 14 or 15 at the time. This beautiful girl at my school had started talking to me, I had a crush on her long before but I was never really the one to say anything. I was Year 10 and she was Year 8. I was pretty young but this girl had taken me […]
I guess my problem has always been loneliness… been at school all day, then i did some sports and… still. I literally have like 2 hours of alone time and i cannot stand it. I feel like im losing my friends. My ex-girlfriend wants to get back together, told me her friend told her to break up with me. As much as I still like her, I cant do that. I was clean from porn for three months and now… one day. Shit is falling apart.
Joining the suicidal project not because I am suicidal God knows Iv’e never been ballzy enough to even atempt. However, these dark thoughts have haunted me and I’m completely lost in the problems of child hood and self demolition. I have became who I’ve never wanted to be like my father… and i am scared to be come what my biggest fear my mother. Anyways here I come , just another dark post.
I should never have come back here to school. I should have listened to my intuition and stayed home and gone to beauty school or something. After getting trampled by a horse I should have known that was a sign. I cant even bridle the horse and all i ever do is cry. Im such a crybaby i wish i knew how to make it stop. People tell me i don’t belong here and maybe i should listen. I wish i could die in my sleep from all this pain. I’m so done. And my roommate doesn’t even care about me she just wants […]
ok…i know i havent posted in awhile….so the update……….. i moved back to my moms to only find out my exgf was alive and she went out with my best friend…….i loved her so much and she hurt me like that……my best friend thinks that deep down she still loves me but just doesnt want to admit it and i really just dont care anymore….i use to go out with this girl named stacie and she broke my heart….she was everything to me….i dont understand why it happens to me…..well lme and my exgf got to be friends and everything and stacie was like her […]
I don’t know what to do right now….
I keep telling my self that i’m not alone because i have friends to talk with but i still feel so alone….
I keep smiling at them tell them jokes show them that i’m happy but i’m really not….
I don’t even know if they really care about me….
I want to be notice but no one would notice me….
I feel like i’m giving up even if I don’t want to….
and sometimes i think “what if i disappear would someone care or search for me?”
and i keep thinking of these negative thoughts….
please help me i don’t […]
Why is we need to feel happy infront of?? We dont if we feel like there is no happiness then there isnt being in that black hole again is utter shit it makes you feel utter shit and i remember saying shit like “im never gonna be in that black hole again” or “depression dont take over you” but in reality it does and it will never go away and even though we can be happy there is always that feeling inside that tells us that we shouldnt be and that everythings my fault i hate it especially when friends arent there for you when […]
Hi, so i am new to this site and this is my first actual post.
I guess i am just looking for insight into … i don’t even really know, just what goes on inside my head maybe.
I have just recently been diagnosed with depression but i have kind of known for some years now that i have been depressed and i self harm.
So I have been reading some posts on here the past few days and most people talk about all of the struggles they have gone through in their lives and how they want to escape from all of their problems and reality. At […]
Im terrified to go to school because there’s bullies there pushing me, teasing me, telling me to go die…. they dont know that I really want to and i barely sleep at night and refuse to leave my room most days. I trap myself in my room and push anyway anyone that tries to help me. I am on the verge of taking away the privilege of living….
Soo i’m 13 and i noticed i have no reason to live because my parents hate me (seriously, they freaking hate me), my brother that loved me so much is now treating me like a stranger and i have “friends” actually hates me. I don’t get it. I don’t get the reason that i choose to live, the boy that i like is the only reason i live. Why? he treats me soo much better than my “friends” and family.
I need advice on how to be happy, because i am sooooo close of taking my own life. so please help me, i need you.
it seems far away but close by. while my meds are helping me think of it less day by day the universe resists. A friend from college committed suicide last week. It’s taking some time to hit me and i still don’t know if I have it for real. I lit some candles. went to the wake, saw the body. But I still can’t. I can’t describe how i feel or what I’m thinking. I know that before in my head I would laugh when i thought about killing myself. I don’t laugh anymore. It’s not that it feels more real or less real but […]
I’ve explained it over and over and over again, but I guess I’ll do it again.
I messaged my best friends ex last night, just to talk, and we were all close, and have been through shit. and every time i would say something he’d just say “bye” but after she messaged him, he started being nice to me and talking to me. For some reason it made me feel like complete shit. Like i didn’t matter, until she mattered. I felt worthless. I started crying, and ended up having an anxiety attack.
I was holding that blade so close to my skin, telling myself […]
Im just so frustrated and done with everything. Its my first full semester in college. I have learned that I do not belong at this school, people have said so to my face. The only reason im with my current roommate is because she was drugged during the summer term and i helped her. She constantly brings me down saying i have no tits or my face is awful. She treats me like a 2 year old and is extremely rude. She doesn’t take what I want and need intl consideration, she only thinks about herself. I do everything I can for her to be […]
I thought about it so many times but i wanted to stay positive and not starve again…but sadly it just didn’t happen. High school- a place where you will be happy, have a great education, and figure out who you really are. I really wanted this to be the definition in my words, i really wanted to tell everyone how awesome it was to have friends and be beautiful and have harvard grades, i really wanted to be like my brother…it sucked. Because no matter how hard you tried, it would stay the same. I still remember all the people who called me ‘fat’, ‘ugly’, […]
this house is just terrible, and there’s screaming and tension and she’s leaving cause i’m worthless
but anyway for the FIRST TIME
i don’t care. and i think i believe in a future without this
we’ll see.