I hate myself. I am stupid. I am ugly. I am fat . I am died inside. I am alone. I am fat. I am selfish. I am annoying . I am a person who wants help but can tell anyone in fear of them judgeing me. I am finished.
Tag:
Anger
completely give up. I’ve lost all hope…I lost every person that I once had in my life. I now have no one. I am gone very soon. goodbye :’c :’c
Here I find myself again, with tears streaming and a heart that aches. I have no idea what to do. I feel lost in a world that is passing me by, crippled by the fears of the unknown that consume me. So many paths lay before me and I can’t even take the first step, the pain inside crippling. Betrayal, anger, hurt, hate, love, loss; all consuming thoughts.   I don’t want to be here.  I feel tired and broken and the task of putting the pieces back together is impossible; even if I could, I would never be the same. My life can be seen […]
Because everything I touch turns to stone. So wrap your arms around me, and leave me, I can’t hold on….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
so… a lot. It’s easter holidays and told myself that i’m allowed to cut myself… it has slightly spiraled out of control. My left wrist is covered in small thin, lines and my right has 3 simple lines. My upper left arm looks…well. i carved ‘CRAZY’ into it….
Basically, i met this guy online, he is 18. we talked about a lot and then out of nowhere he removes me as a friend and blocks me…i could deal with the pain if i hadn’t started to really like him… and he also told me ‘ I would never leave you’…
I want to be sort of like […]
she was like a mom to me, a figure i never had before,i loved her when she was gone, and i hated her when she was around, she was either in an over protective mood were she drove me crazy, or in a cool person mood, were you could tell her anything and not be scared,i was never use to someone being so protective over me, i was always use to being kicked out of the house and left to sleep out side under a pine tree,where noone wondered or cared if i was even alive,but with her,if i came in the door a minute […]
so years have passed since ive felt this bad…….every day i get more and more paranoid about some issue or about some person looking or thinking about me the wrong way. I become fixated and obsessed with one issue. I closed my eyes while I was driving today just to day dream what would happen if i just took a quick left or right turn….would people finally give me some attention or listen to what i have to say. I feel like im ignored in every part of my life….i was very young when i started cutting my arms and thighs and havent done it […]
My story starts when I was in high school, I was just an average teenager there never really stood out, however I did get picked on a bit, I was getting good grades in physics chemistry and calculus but I always felt like something was missing. When I was 15 I started experimenting with drugs, extacy and alcohol mostly and I also started boxing. Although boxing was good for me physically I had a lot of built up anger inside me, maybe learning how to hurt people wasn’t the smartest decision for me to make. It made me feel good the the crack on the pads […]
Hello children, I just wanted to shed some light on one of the worst times of my life, I was not always as well adjusted and happy as i am now, i was once in the gutter. Its difficult to talk about because its a time would like to forget, but those who do not remember there mistakes are doomed to repeat them.
It was 7 years ago, the first time attended college, After my GF died, i went off the rails completely, If im perfectly honest it was mostly just a blur of alcohol and self pity, hatred for a god i didnt believe in, But mostly i […]
I know i dont have a awful life infact my life is pretty good lots of people would probaly trade but to me it is nothing. I feel nothing, empty , useless,forgotten. I feel all these things but yet i know if i would just open my door and go out of my room and tell someone how i fell i could probaly get someone to care. I wont tell though i know they wont understand. My mom got remarried and in this new family i have their is always compatition and judgement. i feel bad about myself all the time i just hate […]
If you die, just know you could be worst off especially if you don’t believe in anything.
by tigerlily93
written by tigerlily93
There is nothing wrong with being suicidal, but acting on it is.
It is okay to want to die!!
But just know, you prob, feel that way because ou felt unloved or hated by the world, but we have each other.
And, you know what screw the world.
If you think about it some people in the world who arenot suicidal are more messed up than us.
It’s ok
We just have to know our lives aren’t just for us, we love for Jesus and truth and love and all things good, but if you don’t believe that you can die!
And you may not […]
Would you look upon another man’s darkness, and tell him what he sees?
I would not.
Though I do understand your anger. Angry, I would be too, if years of hard yellows and laborious blues had been scratched out by an easy black.
An easy, fatal black.
Tomorrow shall be a positive day.
Tomorrow I shall rise at 6am to go running in the park.
Tomorrow I shall tidy my living area, even sweep away the dusts of time. The aching grains of sand.
Tomorrow I will not smoke any cigarettes, or play my guitar, for I worry that these objects will kill me. One […]
I’m the good girl in my family. The smiling one. The girl who’s always offering to help out around the house. The girl my parents have never really had to worry about. I only ever argue with my sister, and I get on really well with almost my whole family. I’m the bright, spirited one. I have an opinion on everything, but I accept everyone. I’m the kind and loving girl and my parents constantly tell me how much I mean to them.
But that’s changed so suddenly.
In just a matter of days, I’ve fallen apart.
The thoughts have been there for years, but only now are […]
Well i just want to vent my anger at you right now
FUCK YOU, HOW ABOUT THAT?
You make me look like a fucking fool two nights in a row. Sitting by my phone all day, refreshing Facebook and calling you. Now your phone is off and i haven’t heard from you all day.
WELL HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY.
But the real pathetic thing is that…. When you finally talk to me next, be it over text or in person i won’t be mad at you. Because you are all i have.
Why are you fucking perfect in EVERY way except this one. You always stand me up and we […]
• I’ve had insomnia for about 7 years now. No pills taken. Sometimes 2 or 3 hours sleep at night (nightmares definitely)
• Mood swings
• Can’t stay in a relationship (one person around all the time makes me anxious and hysterically angry after a while, specially after having sex)
• Anger attacks since I was a teenager
• Used to smoke for about 5 years (I suddenly couldn’t stand its smell, so quit a year ago)
• Been suicidal for a year (no attempts yet but been studying and planning, considering my options) the thoughts become stronger when I’m happier and everything is in its place
• Used to have hallucinations […]
Please talk to me after you read…..I need…idk..
Tonight is the night
Through my hate and demise.
I sit, waiting in fright.
In darkness blinded by my own surprise.
Weeping for hours.
And screaming in tears.
Walking through towers and showers ,
Through my own bloody tears.
What is the sound I hear in my mind.
Ofcourse it’s the sound I know all to well…laughing and jeers
To some,it would be of some wicked crime
I grabbed my military issued knife and tied a gag
As I slowly but surely cut my wrists
Watching slowly as the blood drips in a bag..
Wishing more hate apon my soul in […]
I wouldn’t say I want to die, or commit suicide. I just feel like I don’t want or belong to this world. I’m seventeen and I’m halfway through my a-levels, the only place out of this dump and I’m not getting through it very easily. This place is horrible. It’s so unambitious and it eats at me. My dad’s messed up from the result of his past drug issues and is on medication. He has serious mood swings, and when I get home from school I fear seeing his car on the drive or the kind of mood he’ll be in when I get through […]
So, I’ve never kidded myself about my life, or in this case, death. I’m not concerned with proving to myself I matter to someone, and I’m not just being a drama Queen. I’m not doing this because of a high school romance or because my Daddy won’t get me a new Ferrari What I feel isn’t really even sadness or anger. In fact, I rarely even talk to anyone about my problems, and most people think I’m an optimist.
I just feel an unbearable blankness bearing down on me all the time. Knowing that I am nothing. My grades have dropped, and I can feel people’s expectations of me dropping, […]
Monday, February 27th, 2012. I had been Sexual Assaulted.
I walk through the hallways, watching people look at me, whispering, calling me names, wanting to beat me. They don’t know the real story about what really happened, so they had made-up stories. I cry every night because of what he told people. everyone is against me, everyone hates me. He doesn’t know the damage he had done; damage is still being processed. People harrassed me everyday, yet I know that if I end my OWN LIFE they’ll regret what they have said.
Many people took sides. Two of my best friends had my side, also […]
I am in debt so far over my head that i’m afraid of everything. i don’t answer my phone because it is always the bank. i shred my mail without reading it.
I have watched myself do terrible  things to people i supposedly loved for no reason with no way to stop it and it will happen again and again. no reasons, just pain and anger and manipulation. words i can never take back. i strangled my ex until  i could feel his pulse in my hands and i wanted so badly to kill him for what he’s done.
I’m so broke I started doing porn and […]