I’m so angry today. That bullshit about God doesn’t give you more than you can handle..is just that-bullshit. I am not asking for a lot, you know? But still, it’s like I’m a dog getting my nose rubbed in shit.
I have been suicidal for as long as I remember. I’ve had 2 suicide attempts…both with pill,s both failures. I’m always in pain. I’m always sick. I hate myself. I can’t keep a job. I have no friends….
But I was doing better. I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost a year now. I’ve had my current job for almost a year. I wasn’t happy, but I was close. Until July 4th. My Grandma passed away. We all knew it was coming. She was ready. She’d had Alzheimer’s for so long. I was close to her as a little girl. I spent my childhood at […]
I remember the angry little boy who stumbled across this place a long time ago. Full of hate, despair, self loathing and more than his fare share of booze. He was so pissed off when he went through the trouble of singing up only to realise that this wasnt a place to discuss methods or to find a suicide partner, which were the two things he came looking for. Lashing out at those who offered help, more like a rabid animal than anything else, exploding his nonsensical bullshit across a comunity who should have kicked his sorry but off their site and continued on their […]
Another truth to life I have discovered nobody ever did so much pretending in the end were born alone we die alone no one is there at least not for me never for me many could say I’m just angry and hateful I am but not nearly as much as all the sadness regret loneliness
Angry all the time. Lost. Frustrated. Tired. Angry at the world and at myself. Still blood dripping down my face from getting in a fight with my brother and getting angry about being weak and cutting my temple just to let go of some of the anger. Girlfriend of 4 yrs got angry and walked out, and rightly so. It’s hard to fight the enemy when the enemy is yourself. I……just don’t know what to do anymore, and maybe I never did. I can’t do this anymore. But I don’t know how to change. Been on meds, counseling, you name it…..I just…..still trying to figure […]
I thought about suicide again today. The pill bottle was in my reach. All I had to do was grab it and walk to my room, but I didn’t. While I was walking by all I could think was “Life is worth living. You have to live.” Now I know I should have done it. The pain I feel everyday is like a whole getting bigger and bigger. It feels like someone is scraping the inside of my chest out. I just get so angry and I try to calm down. There is this method my Mom told me about. She always said “Count to […]
Ian moone translated into “I am no one” who is my sad depressed lonely side that doesn’t believe in attainable love
Shifty my angry shifty no caring side that doesn’t believe in good hurting others is acceptable
C????? my real name the name of the battleground for the two sides the combination of the two sides some days shifty has mostly won some days Ian has but they both fight
I miss the days when I felt happy. How I became so content with the idea of death I don’t remember. I try so hard to be happy but it just doesn’t seem to work for me. I’m not happy, I’m not angry, I’m not much really.
Just really really miserable.
But it’s not even that. It’s like, that feeling you get when you’re about to sneeze. You know it’s coming. You can’t wait long enough for that sneeze to be over.
I think what I’m trying to say is, I long for the feeling of not feeling anything at all. I know it’s coming, it’s just a […]
this has become ridiculous, im not sad anymore im just angry.. why must i bare the burden and fall apart while he roams the night…
i am dreadfully tired of explaining time and time again why i am angry, WHY CANT YOU SEE?! its YOU, its always ever gonna be you. i love you with all that i am, you are my family, my world, my everything, youre all i have left in this life so imagine my disappointment when i hear on more than one occassion from the people in your life that i should watch out for you the most, that youre my greatest […]
Wake up angry as fuck, shower, keep house, fuck around on the computer – anger builds throughout!!! Its like groundhog day:-\ crack a beer, puff a J, eat a xanny and let this T.B.I. shit run its Fukin course! Everyday is 420 around here!!!
I´m going to have to have dialysis again, I´m being accused of a crime I didn´t comit, impossible to find a good woman. Just can´t stand my life and it failures and people keep asking me for money in the street. I´m so angry with everything…
I can’t be angry at her, at least for no more than a flash.
Because the truth is, I’m angry at me too. I don’t like myself either. I get frustrated with me all the time.
But I’m going to fix it. I’m going to make it okay. Do you believe me?
I just needed to vent.
A few days ago, very depressed, I went for a walk in search of a bridge. I’m in a new city and do not know where anything is. I traveled down a deadend road and wouldn’t you know it, I find train tracks. Not only that, I see a train coming. This was it. Here was my chance. To finally end it all after nearly twelve years of suffering with severe depression and suicidal thoughts and attempts. I waited on the train tracks as the train neared. But as I waited, all I could think about was the fact that I have terrible luck and […]
i know he was kidding but I thought about it and, would i enjoy it if he choked me? stabbed me? I don’t know. I mean, I do want to die.
i wouldn’t mind if it was you
i hope maybe, in a weird way, i could get you angry enough for you to actually maybe scare me away or get rid of me. I don’t know. I’m weird. I’m sorry Elu, I love you, really. sort of. I’m not worth being friends with you. I’m not worthy of you’re kindness or anything.
Maybe one day I can find the courage to leave you alone.
Title says all. They don’t know what’s behind my blue eyes. They don’t know the troubled angry boy trapped inside this gross bleeding body
Bye
You know, when you think things are actually starting to look up and after so long the stress just piles up on you & you just want to collapse .. Over the past 2 months things were getting better, I had gotten a job, figured where I want to go to college, figured what kind of major I wanted to do, gotten a wonderful boyfriend. But just over this past week he has just. Even so angry & takes it out on me, and it just seems to be sex sex sex.. He says I always start it but I’m sleeping when I Apparently start […]
I’m an angry fuck for good reason (I think) !!! For every bad week there is a good day coming. Between that and my kids I keep the barrel out of my mouth, but the choice is there!!!
I’ve never felt this alone. Day by day I get worse. I don’t no if I should admit myself. Or what. I no I can’t handle being the way I am. I’m not afraid of death it seems quite peaceful. I don’t want my family to find me . last night I took a lot of sleep aid enough to trank a horse.. Unfortunately I woke up this morning , yes. I was angry so angry. So I was determine to find something I wouldn’t wake up from.. And nothing. SSomeone just please give me some advice… Please..
I am 21 y.o girl in engineering unversity. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know when this is all started. I want to talk about this to someone but I trust nobody. I think they won’t take my story seriously.
I always feeling lonely. I used to have bestfriend in elementary school, but she bad-talking me behind my back. I hate her. I tried to make a new bestfriend, but I didn’t find anyone who can understand me. I started my junior high school life. I tried again to make a new bestfriend. I did find one and last for 3 years, until before […]
Where to begin.. I suppose I should begin with my introduction to antidepressants. I’ve gone through several different brands and have yet to be impressed. I’ve always felt the need to avoid medication at all costs, as taking meds would be an admission of emotional instability; Once I get on them, I’m officially crazy. But, I began to sink lower than I ever had before in my previous bouts, and I became fearful enough of my own thoughts that I decided medication was my only option. Scary thing, antidepressants.. All those side effects. The dependency….
I’ve been seeing a girl […]