Hello, I goggled I want to cut myself tonight to try and stop myself from slicing up my thigh. My boyfriends laying in the bed next to me while I’m crying my eyes out asking “what can I do”, nothing and then I tried to talk to him an he said you always get like this last night I cried after I had sex with him but I say this with all my heart someone that has never known depression will never know, he doesn’t know. My mother died of cancer when I was nine my father remarried a women a year later with 3 […]
Tag:
angry
Im sad and angry. Very much of both.
I toy with the idea of taking the life of some motherfucking douchbag that doesn’t deserve the life they were born into. But I cannot do it.
It angers me that someone so pure at heart can get the shaft and be born to a broken home and ya ya blah blah blah boo hoo etc, yet some fucking foul piece of shit can have it all; loving family, high metabolism, a perfectly not undersized manhood, opportunity.
God is cruel.
I grew up raising myself from age 8 onwards. Prior to that I witnessed my elders shooting up cocaine, having sexual relations and committing violent acts.
My mother was 16 when i was cut out of that wretched *****. I hate(d) her with everything in me. Maybe hate was the wrong word but DESPISE definitely isn’t. When I was four years old I tried to kill her. I remember it vividly. When it came to crunch time I regretfully saved her life. (((To protect my anonymity im not going to reveal the method)))
Four years later I was cooking my […]
I feel badly because when I heard about Robin Williams’ death, I didn’t feel sad. I felt jealous, I felt angry that I have come so close but not had the courage to end my suffering. I felt happy for Robin. He is finally free. But I couldn’t really tell anyone those feelings
Listening to some Eddie Boyd, Lafayette Thomas and Curtis Jones, some seriously cool R&B. I have a TBI that gives me headaches, Post Traumatic Headache Syndrome is what the Doctors call it. Chronic pain. I’m also a Soldier, or I was until 6 weeks ago. 20 + years down the drain.
I usually have headaches (HA) day in and day out. And they’re never the same. It’s next to impossible to find a job and make the money I’d like to earn. My HA makes my memory cells short circuit or something. I did an interview for a job I knew like the back of my […]
“i could hear my heart beating. i could hear everyone’s heart. i could hear the human noise we sat there making. none of us moved. not even when the room went dark.”
i don’t know why i’m here. i can’t quite seem to figure out anything anymore. sometimes i get these little fits — my roommate calls them “funks” — in which i am just unhappy. i am upset. i am sad. i am angry, at you, and me, and the trees, at the world. and i don’t know why. i never know why. a girl is supposed to know herself better than anyone else could […]
Seriously. When you’re as depressed, unable to trust, wounded, afraid, anxious, angry, and lonely as many of us are, can we really be helped by a therapist? I used to think so but it almost seems like it makes things worse because the therapist thinks they want to help but have no idea what they’re in for. Once they find out they can’t handle it and start taking things personally and then react instead of guiding.
He loves me and can’t live without me–he says. But he won’t listen when I tell him what I need to be happy and to regain trust in him after robbing me while high on crack. I was a codependent until I learned to implement a tough love routine.
He promised he would go to rehab so i sprung him out of jail. And then, he skipped off 3 hrs away blowing off rehab. He insists i cheat on him when he’s the only one. He’s psychotic and the list of guys he accused that I am having sex with just keeps growing. We argue and […]
I was doing ok for a little while. I’m finding myself becoming more scatter brained and slowly relapsing back into my depressive state. I’m becoming angry with people I shouldn’t, missing people that don’t miss me, and loving people that don’t love back. I can’t seem to find a balance….this balance they all speak of.
And at the end of the day I hate the fact I lived through it.
I really wanna cut myself. Im trying so hard not too but I knw its going to happen.. im gettn angry wit myself for thinkn like this. Ive hidden it for so long. ..
Problems from both inside and outside are drowning me in an ocean of sorrow…I thought I managed to overcome the drug addiction,but this morning I just couldn’t keep my feelings inside without a little ”outside help”,so I started it again…Taking lots of prescription medication with alcohol in order to achieve that disgusting high feeling and then finally black out,only to wake up in my own puke hours later…
If only I could keep my promise to her that I will keep away from doing this ever again…but if I think about it better,she betrayed me…She just used me to get over her own problems,and then dumped […]
In my teens, I was diagnosed with bipolar paranoid schizophrenia. I’m currently 26, without insurance, and no way to afford therapy or medication.
I’ve attempted suicide twice before, first by ingesting a large number of different pills (blood thinners, sleeping pills, basically everything in the cabinet) and the second by ingesting rat poison. I continue to practice self-harm, mostly by tearing at my arms with my nails, or beating myself in the head, for the sake of not hurting someone else because the fact is I want to. I’m angry at everyone all the time, and it has only gotten worse in recent months since my […]
Why am I either so angry, sad, or blank all the time?
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Yiruma-Moon-Light.mp3
I’m tired. I’m just tired.
I’m tired of food. I’m tired of television. I’m tired of work. I’m tired of school. I’m tired of going outside. . I’m tired.
Anytime someone asks how I am, my answer isn’t “I’m fine”
The answer is “I’m tired”
I’ve lost any shred of hope that I might of had. And I don’t see the point.
And the funny thing? I’m tired…but I can’t sleep.
I guess I’m not physically tired. I’m mentally and emotionally tired.
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
I don’t feel like going anywhere. I don’t feel like talking.
I seriously […]
I have never felt sad about a suicide. By the time I graduated high school, two of my best friends had killed themselves and even at that young age I never felt sad. Confused, yes. But in my heart I knew that suicide marks the end of a problem, and so… much like divorce in the case of an abusive marriage, it’s a good thing even though humans instinctively say “how awful”.
Humans at large cannot perceive the problem, so all they see is the solution which they don’t agree with. If you didn’t know that a woman was being mugged, and all you saw was […]
I feel so fucking useless. There is so much suffering and the world is tearing itself apart around me and here i am being a whiny little ***** helping nothing and no-one doing no good for anyone, anyone at all. I am useless.
I have no right to feel sad all the time. I should be fucking appreciative of everything i have because i know there are people out there that would give anything to live the life i do. But i’m too fucking selfish to be appreciative. The world is so unfair, that people like me who deserve nothing can have a good life and […]
…People think I’m sad. They always do. And I don’t blame them – I used to be sad a lot. I suffer from bipolar disorder, and I’ve had a few rough times in life, such as sexual abuse as a child, and my sister’s death a few years back. I’m currently 16, and with gcses added to the stress of, well, living…I hate it.
If I’m honest, I’m only still alive because I can’t bear the thought of leaving my girlfriend behind. Of never seeing her again. She’s also the only reason I keep it together – I have to. You know that line from Frozen, […]
I ruined a friendship with one of my best friends because of work stress and now all I can think about is that I am a huge fuckup and want to die. I don’t even care about the job. I care about my friend. Why do I always get angry and push people away like this? I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It all seems so illogical and distant now.
God, I don’t even know anymore. It started a couple of months ago and it was a song that triggered it.. I now seem to be a ***** to people now.. I get so angry over such little things such a someone not putting a lid on a pen.. I treat all my friends like shit, the ones that have been there for me for so long, the ones that know me inside out.. my best friends ): I push all my friends away and now I only hang out wiith people that use me for sex or whatnot.. I don’t know why because thdy […]
No but really I’m having the worst anxiety attack right now. And to add to it my mother wants to come into the session with me so she can meet the doctor. Now, I don’t have a problem with that because that’s what we’ve normally done for the past 4 crazy doctors, I just hope she isn’t going to make me out to be a basket case that needs to be seen every day…since, well, I am getting worse.
Sorry, I just don’t know what to do anymore. It gets to the point where you’re fucked over one too many times and they say “keep your head […]