I woke up today and wished again that my attempt had not failed. The meds make me feel fuzzy, at times they make me shake, people looks at me and despise me because they think I am on drugs or alcohol. I am tired, but jittery all the time. I hate the meds, I want my life back the way it used to be or I want out. This frustration is unendurable.
i wish i had never told anyone about anything. Really, there’s not much to tell. God, what was i trying to do, help myself? Now i’ve got my damn nice parents caring about me -.- I should be grateful for this, a lot of people would love caring parents they can talk to, but they’re going to help me. I really don’t want this and sure don’t deserve it. Just if i kept my little snappy mouth shut i wouldn’t be this stressed. Man, you would think that help would help, but a hell not it doesn’t. I might as well kill myself in a […]
I’ve been a member of this site for 2 days. When i posted my story of getting better, i thought it was a basic read kinda site. I didn’t know this was an ongoing support system. I’m so glad it is, i feel like i’ve stumbled upon a place where i’m not so alone. I’m 17, soon to be 18. I want to be a psychologist, so i can help others in pain. When i see posts on here of those feeling hopeless, all i wanna do is help, find a way to save their life. I still get suicidal thoughts myself. I’ve struggled […]
tonight feels like the night. everything is at its worst. I must go to school tomorrow, face sitting alone and all the people who have turned on me during this short holiday. I don’t want to go back… i dont want to be here anymore, im doing no good being here, im worthless.. tonight may be the night… i attempt.
i love you all.
I can’t stop it anymore. I feel like shit all the time.
I think I might.
I might.
I Probably…
               Will try until I fail.
I don’t know how or when. So don’t ask.
I won’t plan it. It will happen by itself.
…. I feel like failing.
Dear Friends gud evening to all of my staff today i.e., 08/10/2012 i want to die becoz i dont want to live in this world there is an small incident happen my girl friend left me before 3 months i loved her very much but she left me as alone ………………………………………………………..
So this week has been pure shit. I mean, Suicidal thinking shit. Obviously.
First, I just haven’t been my self this week. I’ve been a blend of the the bad Nat’s that we know and love :3 Secondly, Thursday was 27/9/12 (The ‘day’ that the voices have been talking about for months) Nothing bad happened on that day because I didn’t go into school… Friday however was by far the worst day of the week.
So Friday- Woke up feeling okay, did all my routines. Did break down a bit third lesson but I brought myself back from it. Cue fourth lesson. I got a facebook message […]
So there I was, a couple days back – sitting alone thinking oncemore about how shitty my life is (I’m in my 20’s, have a university degree, but no one will give me a job, im lacking in major social skills and have never had a GF – still a virgin and havent had any friends for years). 90% of my time outside of my house has been to the Doctor or my Therapist.
To digress, I’m sitting here and decide to “take some pills” (i wont detail everything). I take a few (slightly more than Ive done before just when Ive felt bad), then I […]
i’ve never posted here before. i’ve read a lot of posts, and wanted to respond to many… but i never could find the right words, because i would feel hypocritical telling someone “it will be okay”, when in fact it very well may not be. i know that’s not the point, but still.
i had everything i every truly wanted. i was married to the most beautiful girl in the world, who also was my very best friend. i have been head over heels in love with her since we first met in 2001. i was 19 then, she was 16. we both made some mistakes, […]
All my life I have heard the phrase, “It gets better”, well I am living proof that no it does not, at least it hasn’t in my experience. If my life was going to get better, and stop from spiraling out of control, then wouldn’t it have gotten at least a little bit better by now? I mean it has been over six years, and nothing has changed, it has only gotten worse. I’m tired of living, of my suicide attempts failing, only to wake up from yet again another failure, whilst the madness and chaos that is my life resumes. No one cares about […]
I have been thinking more frequently about killing myself day by day. And finally when it seems like I have a perfect plan and can end everything I am know doubting whether I should or not.
The last time I attempted, I was positive it was the right thing to do. I wanted to be gone forever and had thought it all the way through.
This time I am unsure yet still feel that I need to follow through. My life is pointless, I am not going to contribute to society. I don’t do anything. After attempting and being put in a psych ward my work […]
 Hi My Name Is Ellen,I’m 17.I suffer from Severe Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, And Graves Disease (Hyperthyroidism),And i anxiety issues. I’m not going to go into the gory details of what happened to me, what caused my depression (which to be honest, was a million different things). I left school at the start of grade 10 because i was being bullied…really badly, and that just added to my other problems, a few months after i left school i was sent to a Psychiatrist,she diagnosed […]
so i tried killing myself for the fifth time yesterday…but did it work? no. it never does. i guess in a way im glad it didnt work…i dont like to hurt people(on the off chance that it would hurt someone). but i cant help but wish that it did work. i dont know, maybe i should just stop trying….i just am afraid to live.
i asked myself 1st thing this morning when i woke up. my “story” is not worth typing about – you already get it: it’s depressing. i’ve been suicidal for a few years now, but this will be my 1st real attempt. the “helium method” as i refer to it (no access to guns, i have plenty of pills but those have a TERRIBLE track record of successful suicides). i feel ready to go.
yet i have reservations. i think about my family.
i don’t love them, to me they are like strangers i just happen to know many things about, i do not feel connected or bonded […]
So far, society has made an attempt to “fix me” with non-applicable laws, jesus, Zoloft and a host of other inventions to keep the masses from free-thinking. I guess society was hoping that one of these things would “take hold”, but I’ve had too long to think for myself. I’ve had an epiphany. I’m not the one who’s FU(K!NG BROKEN! Now I’m a problem. I feel justified in my thoughts and actions. I cannot be easily controlled. I question everything. I insist on relying on my own research and take nothing at face value. This is […]
Against suicide that is.
Why is it considered to be an actual problem that ‘must be stopped’?
It’s that one person’s choice whether they live or die and that is where the option should rest. Outside interference shouldn’t exist.
I don’t understand why so many people are so horribly against it.
I do understand why they may not like it and may want to help someone, but I don’t get why some people attempt to stop a person completely from their decision.
Especially strangers.
Do they feel sorry, or do they just want to do their good deed of the day?
Yes, my complaints are obvious and have probably been expressed hundreds […]
I woke up this morning and the first thought that came in to my head, as always, is that I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be in this house, in this city, in this country, in my life.
Feeling like this all the time just isn’t normal. There was a time when I was younger I could forget it all, brush off my worries with my friends and alcohol and even when I couldn’t, when it came down to the worse-than-usual days I had my friends to keep me going. I had 3 very good friends back then, 2 neighbours who […]
I am uncertian now. Everytime I go past thinking about it and actually set up what I need to do it I cannot bring myself to do it because of the constant thoughts of “It could still get better” Also imagining myself happy living however I choose and I hate these thoughts that I see no truth in. I wanted to hang myself and I set the noose up and stood there wearing it but there was no way to make myself jump. My only attempt was when I as 14 I took 200 tylenol and 100 asprin without even researching. I assumed I […]
Why don’t I have the will to make myself not feel this way? Empty and pathetic and miserable.. Too apathetic to do a thing, but still crying for all the idol moments. I have too much time. Left alone with my thoughts too long.. but I wont do a thing to change it. With every attempt the same thought comes to mind. You’re going to commit suicide regardless of what you do,so whats the point? That seems to be my view of everything. Just going to die, no reason to bother. I can’t care. I’m just not able to. Ive even given up pretending to […]
I’m not going to share my whole life story because I think the problems that I had or have are minor to what everyone else goes through. This fact actually makes me feel more depressed. I feel horrible for even thinking that I’m horrible and shouldn’t be alive. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m better than anyone. In fact I hate myself. A lot.
To begin my story this is how people see me: I am to most people an always cheerful person. But that is how I get by. I try not to care and live with a smile. It worked until a […]