I have tried to kill myself 6 times. Â I still cut. Â None of my friends have noticed a goddamn thing; all my family can do is make me feel guilty instead of trying to help. Â I told some of my friends but all they could do was tell me they hadn’t fucking noticed or give me callous advice. Â I just am so exhausted. Â I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Â I’m unwanted. Â But I really don’t want to die in pain; my attempts were all with pills and did absolutely nothing. Â I’m just so sick of this. Â Why don’t I deserve […]
Tag:
Attempts
I walk around the world today
All I see is pain
The strife of man against the world
And man has nothing to gain
Ive seen death, I’ve seen poverty, and ive seen sickness
And all of my attempts to fix this were fruitless
A smile. A hollow smile is all i I get
From ones who claim they love me
Either they forget or just don’t care
That I can’t smile back
This strife we fight through in life
Will be forgotten soon enough
The only thing we’ll be remembered by is
Our headstone reading “in memorium of”
I’ve seen greed and glutton,
I’ve seen cheap basterds […]
I am trying to hold on, but I have been steadily tidying up my life these last weeks and I am throwing away my career and my life very quickly. I am steadily working towards the end and although I feel really bad right now, I know I will hold on another day or two. I keep trying to find excuses to carry on just one more day (new tattoos, new clothes/shoes to be bought tomorrow), anything at all. But it is all crap and means nothing. It is just a distraction from where I know I am heading. I hate to set deadlines, none […]
I grow tired of the repaired, reconstructed, and rebuilt. I envy many of you who have faced your challenges (depression, suicide, overdose attempts, and so much more).
In all those moments you have made your life easier.
In these comments I commend you, but for many of us the battle of psych freedom is a road longer, darker, and perilous.
I am not trying to compare who is more ill (or was) but staying “just pull yourself out of it” is like a blind parent talking to a child who can see, touch, and taste the sorrow around them.
I am older than many of the […]
Hi,
Since i was the age of 12, i got depressed and i still am today, (23 years now). I tried around 6 suicides attempts but all failed.
And the worse part is, my parents and friends dont even know after 11 years that i am depressed. They dont have a single clue.. Parents always know whats wrong with their children. Dont they care or am i hiding it to well
Well I’m done with myself. I quite literally give up on myself. I can’t stand the shame, and guilt that I keep carrying. So I give up. I see people saying well I got this figured out this death of mine will succeed or not. Well now I’m one of those people. I love this site soooo much. Seeing other stories. But I guess when your own stories just add on. You get sick of it. Knowing the other things you done to people- The faults. It starts to hurt. I got nothing anymore. That’s it.
So ya, maybe talk later. I don’t know yet. I’ve […]
Today I set a date for checking out. I’ve chosen a method but have to do a bit more research. I’m nervous about it since I’ve tried killing myself a few times before and have bad luck and am spacey. I seem to survive strange things, like getting hit by a truck going 60 mph (I wasn’t in a car, was on the side of the road). This was not a suicide attempt–the guy was on coke and ran the car off the road–but just something that happened. I’ve also survived a savage dog attack where I got over 70 puncture wounds, lost some use […]
I really can’t take it anymore. I have scars everywhere. I can’t bend my arm or my wrist will split open. My girlfriend is gone, my therapist is on her side, my friends are on her side… I know that if the opportunity came for a quick death, I’d take it. I’m scared. If I found a gun or a lot of drugs or anything like that, I know that’d be it for me. My friends said everything is coming together, but it’s really falling apart. I can’t go back to the hospital, but if any of my counselors knows I’m suicidal again I’ll have […]
Why do people keep trying to help me, Dr’s, counselors, family…. I just want to go from this world already, 32 years is enough for me. Half of which have been filled with drug addictions and abuse, failed relationships and many attempts at ending it all. I have tried leading a “normal” life and it bores me, just over it!
Dear whomever this may concern, or those who may care,
You are probably wondering right now what you may have done to prevent this or if you even could. The answer is maybe, thought probably not, this decision in the end will be all mine and not yours, so no, it was probably going to happen eventually. I know that you are probably asking yourself why? Well, that is a very easy question to answer. It is because no matter how much people love you and try their best to give you solace, it is not enough to satisfy someone if they feel utterly alone in […]
Ever since June 9, 2008…. I am embarrassed to admit that it may be June 8th of that year, but that day was probably the worst day of my life. A lot of shit went down, that day was like a fucking movie it was so unreal. Some days I tell myself it never happened, as for that is the only way I can cope with it. This world is simply a ball of shit. Hypocrites living out their every day contradictions. Those claiming to be “real” but whose lives are built up on lie after lie, after lie, after lie…. People claiming they love […]
Idk why but for some reason evreything has gone horribly wrong tonight and I am contemplating attempting suicide again but this time i want it to work unlike my past attempts where i have obviously failed.
Theres nothing worse than when you want nothing more than to push the tip into your skin and slowly and painfully drag it across your wrist until the thin scarlet line begins to appear and you cant. Now im left with multiple reminders of my attempts that further remind me how i cant even complete a little task like cutting myself. Cool. Im going to bed.
• I’ve had insomnia for about 7 years now. No pills taken. Sometimes 2 or 3 hours sleep at night (nightmares definitely)
• Mood swings
• Can’t stay in a relationship (one person around all the time makes me anxious and hysterically angry after a while, specially after having sex)
• Anger attacks since I was a teenager
• Used to smoke for about 5 years (I suddenly couldn’t stand its smell, so quit a year ago)
• Been suicidal for a year (no attempts yet but been studying and planning, considering my options) the thoughts become stronger when I’m happier and everything is in its place
• Used to have hallucinations […]
Many of us have been told, “Your problems aren’t that bad. They don’t add up to suicide,†or, “If you only took 15 pills, you weren’t really serious.â€
We have a condition that causes others to feel uncomfortable. They reduce their discomfort by using denial, belittlement and minimization on the seriousness of our situation. While most of this denial is due to their fear concerning the possibility of our death, a part of it has another source. They may also have had or be afraid of having bad periods in their own lives, and their denial on our vulnerability to […]
Just wondering how many others have been on the edge of attempting, but just couldn’t take that last step. I’m not really talking about swallowing ten aspirin or other “attention getting” attempts, but the real thing.
I once stood on the roof of a high-rise building for two or three hours, but couldn’t make the jump. I’ve also held a loaded gun to my head for an hour or so, but couldn’t pull the trigger. I once got my car up to 100 MPH and was going to veer into a bridge, but couldn’t do that either.
I just wish the feeling of not wanting to exist […]
Hello everyone. I’m female, 17 y.o. – actually i’m turning 18 in 2 days. This is my first post. I’ve read the posts in this site before, but it wasn’t until now i decided to write something. It’s not the first time i’ve been thinking about suicide, as you can tell. Since the age of 11 i’ve been depressed most of the time, and i think i’ve forgotten what “joy” even means. I’ve never gone too far in my attempts, i’ve stood on the edge countless times, i’ve tied so many nooses and climbed high building, and i’ve actually prayed, i’ve prayed day and night […]
Even as a child I knew how my life would end, I used to think it would be before my 21st birthday. My 23rd birthday is next month, I cant count how many failed attempts I have had. I do know that I am better educated now, I know what will and wont work, how much I should take and when to take it. I have a generalized date set, it wont be until after my birthday, it would be selfish to do it sooner. I have chosen to overdose, I have the medications I need. The money for a hotel room. I am calm […]
1. They assume all situations are created equal.
2. They use flowery language to hide a lack of substance.
3. They attribute successes to hard work and failures to bad luck.
4. Fortune cookies work just as well, and taste much better.
5. People like to recommend them in lieu of actually doing anything helpful.
6. They assume that hard work always pays off.
7. They assume that believing in yourself always pays off.
8. They never specify what they mean by ‘believing in yourself’.
9. They cultivate false hope.
10. They only person they actually help is the author.
After giving up on Helium because I cant get a replacement flow gauge that I need for my bag setup and my local supplier of ******** was out of the cylinder size that I needed, (I have a regulator and flow gauge for N2 but my tank is almost empty) I have had to put my plans on hold for a few more days until I can get an exchange cylinder of N2.
After doing some serious research on inhaled inert gasses, I can see why so many attempts fail. It is not nearly as simple as books and internet pages make it sound. It is […]