My dad decided to yell and yell an yell and try to hit us all threaten to kill us then kicked us out now we’re back at the house I’m so tired of this if it weren’t for my boyfriend I don’t know what I’d do he is the only thing keeping me here he tries to help me but doesn’t know how I love him I love him so fucking much actual love not that stupid shit I thought was love. I want to get out of here but I can’t until I graduate. I’m moving in with him as soon as he gets […]
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I am writing this, mainly to get things out. I have nobody to talk to, and I want to explain my situation before I go.
When I was in primary school, life was okay, how can’t it be when your so young? I was very intelligent, a good kid, never really got into any trouble, and had some friends. When I was 10, I lost my father to a heart attack. This hugely affected my family, which already wasn’t a big family. Each day just walking around the house, I would randomly find my mum crying.
As I was so young, I managed to get past this, […]
going to fail A-levels –> have no opions if i cant get to uni –> dont have a passion to take as a degree –> my two ‘bestfriends’ are now in smitten ‘grown up’ relationships and have abanoned me –> my mum is so depressed she wont accept that i also have depression–> i have so many scars on my body that i will forever be wearing jumpers –> my savings are being used to keep the family house from repossession –>i dont have the motivation to try anymore –> no motivation to live, no motivation to die.
With a new year approaching I can never help but to ponder. Ponder the years gone by and the year to come. I’ve gotta admit for the most part looking back I feel three emotions above all others. Pride, embarrassment and sadness. Pride at coming this far, despite picking out a go date, more than once, despite getting hold of method after method, most painless and most sure fire. Despite every descision I took that screwed my life up I somehow stayed with it. I’m gonna be proud about that if ye don’t mind. And embarrassed at the way I usto be, way back when. […]
I lost my mom (almost) 2 years ago and ever since then every thing about me has changed. I withdraw further and further in and have no interest in staying connected. I feel trapped… I have 4 kids and I couldn’t do that to them. I have thrown myself into my kids activities just to keep busy and my mind silent.
The busy schedule also helps me have an excuse to not hang out with friends. My family, friends and boyfriend think I have an aversion to fun now. It’s not that I do, it’s that I just don’t feel joy anymore. How am I supposed […]
History reapeats as the darkness comes flooding back into my life. I bleed black, for the monster is me. Symbiotic with a world slowly dying, I am everything and nothing. Money makes the man, but nothing gold can stay.
The years between my graduation from college and meeting you were filled with depression and loss; I was in an existential crisis; I was a tortured soul. I became an abuser of alcohol. But, that abuse went unnoticed because I lived in a college town where binge drinking was the norm. I worked a job where my co-workers partied hard. We had so many parties where I drank to the point of blacking out on too many occasions to count. I suppose the drinking was a way to cope with my distress. I can remember many occasions where I would be driving or doing any […]
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
by niki
written by niki
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
The more I grow up & learn after all these 32 years of my life, sadly, the more I feel hopeless especially for humanity / our humans species!
MAJORITY of people / humans beings / humanity are so damn shallow, superficial, vain, ignorant, stupid, fake, dirty, liars, etc etc.
I used to have so much HOPE for humanity , but now the hope is dwindling until it’s almost none !!
MOST people are sadly only concerned with vain, shallow, mundane “daily-life” & little […]
Life is fucking hard. I think we can all relate to that. It’s sort of like being in a fight. We roll with the punches and when we’re knocked down, we get back up…but what about when we’re punched so hard that we’re dizzy and seeing stars? What about when we can barely stand up? What if we get knocked out? What happens if life wins the fight? What then? Someone tell me, please. I’ve been fighting relentlessly – and I don’t want to anymore. I’m dizzy and seeing stars; I can barely stand up on my own. Right now, life is winning the fight […]
Well the voices are bothering me again. I wonder what they want….I guess this means back to rehab I go..you know whats over rated people…. life…. ey but we live it dont we. And we gotto live it. Thats the problem. Its in a way kinda compulsory… even after death theyll keepp at you. Heh… look at that. I babling again
It appears I’ve come a long way from the post I made in March of this year.
I had broken up with my girlfriend because my family was vehemently against me seeing her. She was a friend-with-benefits of my brother, and they weren’t talking anymore because she felt he wasn’t really interested in being “friends” or having benefits anymore. There was tension, but I had grown to like her very much as I got to know her in the peripheral of their growing apart. My brother and mother were merely disappointed and worried at first, letting me be a grown man and making a choice. But […]
She stands at the edge of the precipice,
looking down towards her future.
The last tears that she will ever cry,
falling from her eyes,
then falling into oblivion.
She watches them drop
as they disappear forever.
Yet, she laughs in the face of death.
Would it really matter if she took the leap?
She has been forgotten by tomorrow.
The wind blowing at her back,
pushes her to the edge.
Almost agreeing with her final decision,
and encouraging her to jump.
A thousand thoughts and memories
racing through her mind.
Her first day of school.
Her tenth birthday party.
The lonely, awkward days of her teenage years.
I’m just super lonely this Christmas and need a shoulder to cry on…..to vent……I’m 18, turn 19 in 5 days, I basically have no friends or family……I’ve attempted suicided many times and have suffered with depression most of my life. I’m miserable. I’ve tried to keep my sanity and make myself better- recently, I drove my new car out in front of a semi……I miraculously lived, tore my car to hell….I just wanted to die and didn’t care how selfish I was being involving a random person. It eats at me and I regret it, but I’m angry that I didn’t die. The bashing from […]
There’s nothing like Christmas to remind me of how little people care anymore. I got no cards or gifts from anyone other than my aunt, whilst everyone else had friends who bought them presents and visited them over the holiday. The friends of my family don’t mention and ignore me completely. For years I’ve suffered with mental illness and the only thing that was keeping me here was my family because I felt they cared and I didn’t want to hurt them with my suicide. Well I don’t have to worry about that anymore, so within the next few days I will make my suicide […]
I feel horrible about myself. I was very depressed before I got pregnant. It was to the point to where i was using hardcore drugs. But i knew if i wanted to be with the person I’m in love with, i had to do better. Because he’s a good boy, and he only wants the best for me. So I did, got sober, but I was still very depressed. So i started using again and hid it from him… Then I found out I was pregnant and it was very difficult to stop. I am still very depressed, and I’m worried that once my son […]
My name is Joseph…..I’m a cutter, and I’m sick of being alive. I have nothing and nobody, and I’m worthless. I refuse to act on suicide anymore though because I’m sick of being locked up in those inpatient prisons for the mentally ill. Getting no help. On August 26th, I drove out in front of a semi going 70 in my 2012 Ford Focus. I was ready to end it. I was sick of the pain. It tore up my car, but somehow I walked away from it. Then my mom decided to kick me out so she could have her piece of crap, sleezebag […]
I don’t think there is anyone in the world who could really screw up their life like I did.
by Paranoid guy
written by Paranoid guy
So this is my second post here. Could be my last. My previous post I mentioned how I said something dumb to my friends whilst I was high n drugged. It sounded gay I know they told other people about it. For the last two months this has been affected me. I been ashamed to go to gym, couldn’t function at work. My two friends which I normally hang out with would call me to meet on weekends but I would make excuses until two nights ago. They messaged me saying that they are going out to dance n are going to meet other […]
To my friends, thank you for being there for me. I enjoyed our chats. I’m sorry I haven’t been around the last couple months. I thought about you often, and wish that I could have had time to come on here and be a “regular” again. You helped me through some difficult stuff, and just talking about it with you guys and hearing opinions was very helpful.
To those who are struggling with this life: try not to give up hope. Things CAN get better. Many of you are just in bad situations. Bad situations that are TEMPORARY. As the old quote goes “Don’t fix a […]
I am a medical student with a history of mental health issues which began when I was a child. I have always been truthful with my mental health problems with my medical school, believing that through being transparent, they would be able to support me fully. Last year I was sectioned under the Mental Health Act (I was forced to go into a psychiatric hospital against my will), and once I was discharged, I stupidly informed my medical school.
Since I informed them, I feel like I am being punished. Everything was automatically shut down; I was told that I was not allowed to return to […]
tthats just how i’m feeling today. my only friend i texted on monday and he said he was busy andd he would text me, but i havent heard from him. my dad thinks i am an idiot and can never take any opinion of mine seriously. the person i replaced wh3n i got my job is coming back and i am told i will stay but we are slow and i feel like an extra just doing nothing, plus it is a girl and she is really annoying and she argues with the boss all the time, and i just dont want to be there, […]