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i keep thinking…

by clevername
written by clevername

“maybe tomorrow will change my mind…”

“maybe tomorrow will bring something i can’t predict or foresee, that will be worth the wait, and all the lost time…”

“maybe i don’t have to go yet, and maybe tomorrow won’t be as bad as it always seems to end up being…”

But… probably not.

Maybe i’m tired of deluding myself in the name of survival… since survival itself seems to be a detrimentally fruitless endeavor.

If i have to go through the mental acrobatics of deluding myself intentionally… i need to gain something worthwhile, to justify doing that. But that doesn’t seem to ever happen.

So i keep thinking…

“maybe tomorrow…”

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I hate you

by ClairDeLune
written by ClairDeLune

Yes, you’re the person I hate most of all the people in this world. I hate you because you ruined my life where you had the chance to make me the happiest man alive. I hate you because you make me cry every day instead of drying my tears. I hate you because you make me remember all the bad moments and decisions in my life instead of helping me to forget and start anew. I hate you because you hurt the ones I love most instead of making them smile. I hate you because you only think of yourself instead of others. I hate […]

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Have yo ever been everything for somebody?

by luke4848
written by luke4848

If you was a mother you were able to know this when you love someone and she or he loves you (truly of course !)and then you will feel that you have a good reason to be alive.but how poor we are we have to leave our love and suddenly we will be alone and aimless and empty.and you don’t know how bad it is that you like revenge yourself and you hate yourself.to want to scream but no sound no ear to hear you nobody who pay attention to you nothing.May God bless and love us ?May he ?

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stupid, stupid, me

by Kallian
written by Kallian

you know how you try to say one thing, but mess up on saying it (or in my case, typing it) and the person who hears it (reads it) gets offended because of what you said? yeah, there now. I already feel bad enough that they took it the wrong way, now he’s calling me an “evil bitchass **** who enjoys his pain”. I don’t even enjoy MY pain. now I feel like shit, just when today wasn’t too bad

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Believe in me..

by alina_01
written by alina_01

Days like today I look at my life and all the things that lead me to this point and I want to cry. Why me, why couldn’t I just be left to be happy with the one thing I wanted the most in this world? Happiness to me is like a high feeling like living in a fantasy, why couldn’t I just be left alone to live out that fantasy? But no reality had to step in and make itself known, and after that it was all ruined.Everything is changing and it is a permanent change, an inevitable change. I want to cry I want […]

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why is it wrong?

by devilangel
written by devilangel

 

 

people always say that suicide is bad. but, why?

i think if a person wants to leave, they should be able to leave this world without any judgement.

everyone is going to die eventually, so why not now? all the memories we create are going to fade in the end anyway.

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It takes a lot to say this

by alina_01
written by alina_01

but I am hurting, I’m hurting so bad that I do whatever it takes to shut everything off. I want to die so bad, and everyday some part of me tries to talk me out of it. I know I get it I truly honestly do you have to live for yourself make yourself happy do things you want. But I don’t care about myself I don’t love myself so its hard for me it really is. I self destruct, I give up, I have never truly done anything solely because I wanted to. I have done nothing but hurt myself, I have so much […]

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I gave up…

by Engeltje
written by Engeltje

So I haven’t been here on SP for 1,5 month I guess. It’s because I’m doing really bad. In that time I quitted school, had an intake with 2 mental health institutions, going to start therapy next week, got a cat (it’s really a sweetheart and I’m so glad my parents agreed with a pet), and yeah, the only thing I do is sleeping and sitting. Not going outside anymore, see nobody. Actually I have no life anymore. And the thing is: I don’t give a f*cking shit, I don’t care.

Last week, I grabbed my knife and started to cut, made a cut on […]

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[insert title here]

by EndSearch
written by EndSearch

Um, so… Hi?

Google suggested I come here and I really don’t know if that was such a good idea or not. I’m Pro Choice and this site doesn’t look like it gives you much of a choice. “SP” looks like a “No Kill Zone” and that’s fine, but I’m more a “Living Optional” kind of person. It kills me when people make choices for you, but don’t come up with a solution. “It’ll get better…” they croak, but the sad truth is, no it doesn’t get better; it gets worse.

If you’re young, wait a few years; If you’re old, […]

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Why do i wanna feel like this?

by morrs084
written by morrs084

I’m beginning to feel better, whether it be my drugs finally working the sudden nice weather we’re having.. i am feeling better. I’m not thinking about hurting myself as much.. but i do still have these thoughts.  I’m cutting a lot again and i keep thinking of wanting to take all my pills. I finally got my pills back from my aunt who was keeping them from me. Ughhh

But after everything.. i feel guilty or bad feeling good. Like i’m letting the depression down? If that makes sense!?

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The poison of society is so severe, I’m willing to kill myself to escape.

by InfiniteRedPill
written by InfiniteRedPill

I am a male, still young, but I am most likely older than you probably think.

I live in America, this is a place were greed, lies, and aggressiveness have overcome the values of health, happiness, and peace. I am not referring to just the politics, I am referring to everyone. I cannot turn my head without witnessing bullying, toxic addicting foods, absolutely no leadership offered by those who were elected into government positions, and general soon-to-be facism. I hate this place. Currently, I have no friends or caring family, I can’t feel happiness, and I am constantly restless. I feel like I am being sucked dry […]

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Hi! You’re probably wondering why I’m here…

by snowflake
written by snowflake

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Well… It’s because I care.

I care about all of you and I want you to be happy.

I know that you’re not happy. =_=”

And that’s okay; we all have our own problems.

As I’ve been reading some of your posts I know you don’t want to die but you want to take your pain away and leave from your problems. However there is always hope. Let’s not give up. ‪

I know I can’t change your decision because….only someone who lives in that painful know clearly how hurt […]

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i have a question

by lamarcell
written by lamarcell

can I ask everyone a question…. do we really wanna die I mean of course but actually think about it.. leave our lives here to have an equally as bad or worse life after death… we just can’t win for some reason.. every time i come to this site for help I always think of that song wonder wall by oasis I can’t help but to think that song has a deeper meaning but ponder my question and answer… my kik: YD_LaSephiroth but im going to bed because I have school tomorrow.. yes im young :/

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FML (fuck my life)

by CaliBrand187
written by CaliBrand187

It’s always on my mind to end my life.. I was in a really bad accident that caused permanent brain damage.. I can not remember many things now.. I know my daughters bday is Halloween but I have to do the math to know what year she was born. I suffer from horrible pain.. Migraine headaches, throw up blood, I use to be able to do so much now I can hardly do anything 🙁 Life without health is no life at all.. I tried to end my life I took 80 Xanax & every other medication I can get my hands on. I woke up […]

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real problems

by law
written by law

I have no bonds with people. I’ve been abused and alienated. Deep depression, constant  migraines, always tired, can’t concentrate or think straight, memory issues. I’m chronically stressed.  People are just rude and hateful and judgmental and prejudice.  I’m in a town with very little opportunity literally just a dozen different places to work, with no transportation.  I’m living in poverty which means basic needs go unmet. It sucks everyday is a struggle. Nobody to help me out, don’t qualify for state benefits.

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What is a friend?

by yukibear
written by yukibear

I was just wondering. Everytime I tell my closest friend (but this is my view of our friendship) what I am feeling, for example last night, I told him that I felt like complete shit and everyone would go along their merry ways if I die without even caring, he just says, ” If that’s what you think then okay.” And the subject stops there. He quickly jumps to another topic and I assume that he doesn’t really wanna hear what I have to say. I try not to get hurt by his words but I feel like it’s just one bigger proof that even […]

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Something to reflect on

by Ineedtosleep
written by Ineedtosleep

Out of respect, names will be changed for privacy.

yesterday was a horrible day. My mother was the first person (who knew Tom well), to discover Tom’s dead body in his hotel room. My mother and Lisa, a friend of moms who barely knew Tom apart from the occasional light teasing they shared back and forth, searched the city for him after no one had heard from him for a week. The search lead to a small area in a bad neighborhood by two restaurants and a cheap hotel, a waitress at a restaurant he used to frequent took mother to the hotel manager and got […]

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Is it just me?

by xxtwiggyslastbreathxx
written by xxtwiggyslastbreathxx

Why does it seem so hard to be able to get your own mother (even though she did adopt me) to not hate you, to actually love you. How do you get treatment before something really bad happens. How do you get away from your prison when you don’t know where you are and can never ask. Is it just me or is escaping impossible.

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I don’t want to do this anymore…

by Black_Heart2001
written by Black_Heart2001

I’ve been acting for my entire life, and I’m getting tired of it. However, every time I try to stop, people immediately begin criticising me and start comparing me to other, better people. I’m not useless. I’m a bad example. I used to be the person that everyone wanted me to be, but now I don’t know. I don’t know whether or not I should live. I don’t know whether or not anything is worth living for. I don’t know whether or not this is a bad dream and I’ll wake up soon. But mainly, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to face this. […]

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