There are a lot of things going on in my life and I don’t know if I can handle it anymore. I blame my mom for everything and my whole family are just judge mental. I’m never good enough for anyone or anything. The guy who recently told me he “loved me” I found out he danced with another guy at a gay club and got his number. I thought he was the one bc I love him. I think in the back of my head I knew he might be gay or bi but I don’t want to believe it. I’m scared on how […]
hey every one I just want to tell this advice to every girl if you ever love someone it’s ok love him but don’t ever give him your body let him play with him ,because you will regret it after believe me . I know you will give him your body because you love him but he would be just playing with your emotions and passing his time with you . after he plays with you he would tell you simply (I can’t stay in this relationship) simply as if nothing had happened . and you would start crying in your bedroom and he would […]
I’ve recently been diagnosed with bad depression and anxiety. I cut myself often and have been suffering from insomnia recently. The only reason I haven’t killed myself yet is because I would be leaving behind the best boyfriend I could ever hope for.
I haven’t been able to discuss these issues with my mother because she doesn’t believe in depression. She thinks people with depression are just weak-minded. She doesn’t even know that I’ve been diagnosed with depression.
She treats me like shit, and gets frustrated when I lock myself away. The suicidal thoughts are getting worse, and I’m getting scared.
What do I do?
What is it about truths that we look for them in every aspects of our existences? What makes them to be “the right ” thing? when has any truth ever helped anyone?
The earth revolves around the Sun, that is true, but how the Fuck does that matter. Do we live for the knowledge that the earth’s mundane rotation can somehow give us enlightenment?
The thing about truths is that they depend on your perspective. here’s a case in point, just a few hours ago, I told the woman of my dreams that I had once loved another before I met her. safe to say […]
has come and gone and I still can’t believe any of it. Exactly a year ago I was in a very shitty relationship that was falling apart and taking me down with it. I can’t believe that it finally ended especially the way everything has gone down. I also can’t believe that in two months I will have had a close friendship with someone for an entire year. That person whether they meant to help me or not did more than I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful for that, for them and everything that they have done. I am sad because these […]
Should I live or die tonight? Whats the point in living? What’s the point in stayin alive when u know nothin good is going to happen. What’s the point in stayin here in this world. I’m just sick and tired of having to live like this..but I’ll believe that one day something will change my
life. I’ll wait until I can’t wait no more.
Life can be full of pain.
Most people have difficulties dealing with every day life,
and it’s more serious circumstances.
Some people are luckier than others,
they deal with mundane and less serious things.
Some aren’t so lucky.
What led me here?
What led those I have cared for here,
in this down in life state?
Monsters,
they don’t care for the consequences of their actions,
only their selfish gains.
Do monsters feel pain?
Do they know the depth of damage they cause others?
Do they know the lives they destroy?
I don’t believe in karma.
There is no ‘being patient’ for karma […]
Hiding. I don’t want to go to the movies with you. I don’t want to celebrate anyone’s birthday. No, I don’t want to visit with you. Please don’t come by. Please don’t ask to make plans with me. Please don’t call. I have nothing left to give any of you. I cannot be a friend at the moment. I’m exhausted by all of you. You remind me of who I was. Who I am presently not. I know you want to see me smile. I know […]
I am a misanthropist! Full of hatred towards the human race. To me this life is counterfeit, full of bullshit from the little specks of atoms that we are in this unfathomably large universe. I am in no way religious, I do not believe in shit other than we’ll find the truth out when we individually die. Just a rant from my crippled ass. Be well to all on this site, every second that goes by we are closer to the end of this existence (like it or not – tick fucking tock:-)
Why am I still alive?! I’ve been drinking antifreeze for the past two weeks! Believe me, enough of it to kill 6 adults. Why am I just falling asleep like it’s nyquil?!!! What the fuck?! I don’t believe in religion, I don’t want to talk about it, and don’t offer me help. I know life is suffering and I’m trying to fucking leave! Why can’t I get out?! I’m just here killing time.
until yesterday. Sat down to pay some bills online and what I feared was true, was. Is. I don’t have the money. Missed my first mortgage payment tonight and with a $700 oil delivery to pay for followed by a life insurance bill, electric, car insurance, then Christmas followed by it all starting over in January… I don’t see a way out of it. Even with my second part time job.
I can’t believe how badly it’s affecting me. I’m naseaus, ears are ringing, it’s a little difficult to breathe, headache.
If I up my life insurance policy by a little bit, make sure there’s no suicide […]
I am getting closer and closer to the end now. I have already scouted the location. Its very high and easy to access. There are no fences or anything to prevent me from jumping, which is odd because i wouldn’t be the first one to commit suicide at that spot. At the bottom there is concrete. I will try to hit it head first. Should be the fastest way to go.
I have put my affairs into order as best i can. I have written a suicide note. I will probably do it this week. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow night. Seems almost inevitable now.
There are a […]
i don’t know where to begin. I’ve been suicidal for about a year now.
I am a Christian
Let me tell you why I decided to add the previous statement to my post. Yes, as a Christian I do believe in heaven and hell. And I believe that after all I’ve done on this earth that is where I am being sent.
That’s why I’m still here. I’m afraid of what I believe awaits me in the afterlife, so I haven’t killed myself yet. I don’t want to experience hell. Trust me if I for sure knew I was going to paradise after I cut the switch I […]
I hate myself. I hate my mind. I hate how it warps my sources of happiness into sources of anguish. All of the people and passions that made life worth living now make life unbearable. I can’t trust anyone, not because I’ve been hurt, but because I am paranoid and afraid. I don’t want to disappoint them or make them hate me. Because my mind is so twisted, I will take their most minute actions and scrutinize them…fabricate reasons why they might hate and despise me. I tell myself my family only stays with me out of pity. I tell myself that former friends are […]
I feel guilty hating my life like I do. I’m what most people would consider successful, but what I consider a complete and utter failure.
All I’ve ever wanted to be is a wife and mother, yet at almost 35, I’ve never even had a boyfriend. I’ve failed at what’s supposed to be the most natural thing of all, love. I have no one to talk to about this, because no one would understand. I think about killing myself most hours of the day, and no one I know would believe me if I told them that. I’ve become very good at faking my life, so […]
I wrote a whole long spiel but in the end I’ll just reduce it to this:
Fellow people who didn’t grow up with *close* friends or *supportive* family, how have you created meaning in your life? I’ve always thought life’s meaning was what you made out of it– and I still do– but now I’m realizing you can’t make anything out of life if you don’t believe it could become a reality. And you can’t believe in a dream like that if you don’t believe in yourself. My problem is I don’t know how to believe in myself. I think psychological research has bolstered the theory […]
I have noticed a relatively common theme among suicidal people is the belief that the people around them – and the world in general – would be “better off” without them. They often express remorse and inner turmoil for the pain they have caused others.
It’s strange – even during my own darkest moments, I never believed anyone would actually be “better off” without me. No better or worse? Absolutely (truthfully, that is where much of my pain derived from – the fact that it didn’t seem to matter whether or not I existed). But not better.
The way I see it, if you recognize the fact […]
a happy thought as soon as you wake up could potentially change the whole day, wake up and believe it will be a good day. find something about yourself you love, yes this may be hard, but try. there has to be one thing, maybe its you’re strength or perseverance just anything think of something good something that makes waking up rewarding and the day will be so much brighter. it may sound dumb and it may be challenging at first but I promise it helps, just try it. trying never hurt anyone!
why is it that whenever someone says they care or that they love me, i break out into tears. its like its so hard for me to accept it and to believe it that when someone tells me they care about me; it makes me feel so good and sad and happy because i feel like ive never been cared for. im not even sure how to describe it. i hope you guys understand what im trying to say/how i feel.
It took 18 years to remember
You want five to forget
Forget about it.
I never thought I could survive to college. I never saw myself in a dorm. I never saw friends.
But I did. I didn’t live in a dorm. I rented a two-bedroom house with a fenced yard for my two adopted dogs. I went to class. It’s my fifth year in school, and yeah my past caught up to me, and yeah I had a few slip-ups, but I am going to graduate in May with honors- a GPA above 3.0.
So why?
Why do I want to die now?
Of all times, places, people, memories, why now?
I […]