one day for sure. i will. i will die at my own hands. Why shouldn’t we be able to pick when we want to die? I think we should. Its our owN life not someone elses. We wouldn’t be harming anyone. Only temporarily. I want to die so bad sometimes. I hate when people(teachers mostly for me) mention suicide and laugh about it and stuff. I Hate that. They shouldn’t be saying things that can hurt someone emotionally. I get affected by people who say certain things. Maybe its just because I have the desire to die and I’d actually consider myself suicidal. But I […]
Tag:
Best Friend
I just lost my best friend. How do i feel? Well, it didn’t hit me until i screamed i fucking hate you as i slammed the door and started to walk to my house. That was my person. The person who would listen to me cry all night about a boy and try to help me. The person who defended me when she didn’t have to. I just hurt that person. So bad, i could see the water start to feel her eyes when i told her she never gave a damn about anyone but herself. She doesn’t cry too much, that’s how i knew i […]
6 months ago, on Aug. 10, 2011, my best friend/cousin Keira, a beautiful girl full of energy and love and courage, tried to kill herself after bullies hurt her physically. She succeded in her attempt. I was 11 minutes late from our meeting place at the Chain Bridge in Budapest, and i could have prevented her death. She jumped off the bridge, but would have survived if not for the fact she hit her head. She was 13,&would have been14on Dec. 10, in 5 months . RIP Keira, we’ll always remember you.
I grew up an average child, but gradually becoming more and more overweight as I grew. I talk to people about this, very few people I might add, but they keep giving me the same bullshit answer. “It gets better.” Well, I don’t think it’s getting better after 3 fucking years! I started cutting 3 years ago, during summer. I was on vacation and a fight went on between me and my mom, and I left, took out my knife and cut my throat. Ever so slightly. I didn’t want it to end this way. I wasn’t going to go down after the first cut. […]
It was my job to keep my phone by my side…my best friend AKA my brother made it clear that he would call ME, if anyone, if he contemplated suicide. At 9;43PM May 8, 2010, I called him and left a message about the Mother’s Day celebration the following day. In a heavy sleep, I missed a phone call at 6AM from a restricted number. Come 8AM, there was a knock at my door. My girlfriend (I was in a gay relationship at the time) answered the door and came back to bed to inform me that my mother and aunt were there. First thought-SHIT, […]
I surely don’t. That is I don’t care about myself. I care so much about the people around me. The people I love. But why can’t I love me?? It just doesn’t happen for me. I try to think “of everything will be alright and I’m gonna love myself and how I look”. No. That’s not happening. I’d rather not love myself and suffer than lose the people I love the most. It takes me a lot of time to open up to anyone. It took me like over a year to open up to my best friend. But I did it. And now I […]
im scared. and i dont know what to do anymore. i feel like im falling deeper into depression, and i cant take it. i cried like 10 times in the past few days. everything is so stressing to me. and i feel like things  are affecting me more. like im more sensitive for some reason. ive never been this sensitive. so its weird to me, and i dont know how to deal with stuff. i just want to be dead. i actually havent cut for months now. last time i cut it was all down my left arm. from elbow to wrist all covered. but […]
so its a new year, another year of my stupid and meaningless life.
my own family did not wish me a new year. they celebrated and wished on their own and i could hear their celebration but no one thought that i was there too. My best friend messaged me and called me but what a luck i got, he is in england and its impossible for me to judt go there and meet him.
I don’t know who am i writing to or talking to with this post. but i have a feeling that atleast someone around this world cares for me. I […]
How do you cope?
when your…
…friend who you thought was your best friend left you?
…mother decides not to believe in you and wants to disown you?
…brother and sister decides to not stand up for you and stay with your mother instead, even though you truly believe you are right?
…only friends are the good friends, but no close friends?
…love life is in shit-hole?
…university academic is being affected by your drastic (depression) behavior?
…thoughts of suicide is re-surfacing, stronger than ever?
I am sleeping alone now in a hotel. My mother just left me to sleep in our new apartment. My brother […]
That’s how i feel 99 percent of the time. I feel so alone. I hate bein alone. I hate it because I can think. And its bad when I think. Nothing good ever comes out of that, only scars and tears and bad thoughts. I feel like everyone is forgetting me. Why can’t I be normal and loved? Why did God have to put me in this place? I hate living and I wish I was dead. Nothing good ever happens so there is no point to it then. Why hurt when freedom is just on the other side? It doesn’t cost to die. And […]
Humans, humanity, and this (earthly) world/life is not/never a perfect place..
sometimes it even can be ‘blamed’ because of our human’s hard-wired Nature. ie: the way we’re ‘created’.
A famous atheist literature Christopher Hitchens who just passed away ironically few days before Christmas, he said this: “Evolution has meant that our prefrontal lobes are too small, our adrenal glands are too big, and our reproductive organs apparently designed by committee; a recipe which, alone or in combination, is very certain to lead to some unhappiness and disorder.”
think about that, really…and this is even still just ONE factor (ie: I’m still not talking about other ‘imperfections’ nature […]
so okay. me and my best friend had a very deep and emotional talk. and me and her are both suicidal. we talked for a long time. and what we got from talking is an agreement. kinda. we talked about killing ourselves, and decided that its not the right time, and its not worth doing that now because we’re still teenagers (im 16 and she’s 15) so we havent even lived life. that doesnt mean that we have to change who we are, or what we do. just putting something off for a while. i guess its a good thing in a way. im glad […]
Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..
So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…
I took a whole bunch of pills, just enough to make me happy. And I was REALLY happy. I felt good.  My best friend told me not to do it any more, so I told him I wont. But I’m not so sure I can keep tat promise. I haven’t felt that good in so long.
so i have not talked about myself really. and i guess i will now, since im really bored right now. my name is Gabby. im 16, gonna be 17 in april. i live by chicago. i moved here from lithuania when i was 9. i wouldnt want to live in any other counry, but i would really wanna live in either San Francisco or Las Vegas. ive never been to either of those places but they seem very unique. my favorite color is pink. i love art. i watch a ton of movies all the time. im still a sophmore. i have strong beliefs in human rights. […]
<img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-58739" title="Becca hi my name is Becca im 13 years old. My two best friends are brittany and kaitlyn and i love them to death. My favorite sports are gymnastics and basketball . I sing in my school chior and i recently moved to texas from washington state in march of last year. But i have a deadly secret. I’m sucidal and i cut . And was recently put into a mental hospital 3 weeks ago for a week for attempted sucide and cuttting. Now you may ask why. Why would a girl like me do so much harm to myself.. well […]
Reason for my downfall is simple: this real world is too damn boring, I can’t stand it anymore
by niki
written by niki
Perhaps to the contrary of what many of you would think here,
I am actually live from a quite healthy & “normal” situation/environment, eg:
– I am born from a quite loving, and healthy family. My childhood was a quite happy ones, with lots of traveling here & there.
– I am from a quite middle-to-upper class family, which can be said, I’m pretty much okay/well-off, albeit not super/very-rich.
– I even went to all those what “normal” society would call “great routes” in life like: great education & school overseas (in U.S, “The Land of the Dream” for immigrant people like me, which is […]
I dont know what i should do. I want to kill myself, but my best friend has somewhat delayed it. For when shes telleing me not to do it, i am unable to concentrate and plan out how im going to kill myself. I want to kill myself very badly but i cant decide what to do. I could kill myself, end the pain, but i will leave my best and only friend in this horrible world, making her life worse that it already is. Or i could stay and prolong my suffering, but it could also lessen hers. Do i leave this world and […]
Well, my best friend wrote me a really long and sweet letter to me last night. She told me how much she loves me and cares for me and misses me( I’m in another country visiting family). And she is the top person I love and care for. I couldn’t live with out her. Literally. And she told me should couldn’t live with out me either. I guess our friendship is a bit odd. We want to off ourselves together. And we have been planning that for some time now. I really think its gona work. But we want to use a shotgun, to be […]