This crap is getting really old. My new boyfriend, the one afore mentioned, turns out to be nothing that i was expecting under pressure.
The story starts on Thursday after school. Im texting him and his ‘best friend’ takes his phone and starts a convo with me like she knows me. Being the polite girl i am, i keep talking to her. She then tells me she has feelings for my bf and so my friend takes my phone and politely tells her(under me) that there needs to be boundaries cuz were dating. This girl starts trippin on me and i leave with my best […]
Tag:
Bitch
15 years old and havin a shitty life im adopted my bio mom name is karen my bio dad michael left right after i was born i moved around alot my mom was always with abusive men and into sex drugs and drinking dcfs had to get involved when my mom was with this one man who physically abused me and shook me till i fell unconsciousness and i was only two years old i nearly died sometimes now i wish i did i was supposed to to me i sometimes think im gunna end up the exact same way as my momn middle school […]
I want to cut again. But I’m trying really hard not to. I’m going away tomorrow with a few friends and if I make more cuts it wouldn’t go unnoticable – I don’t even know if it will go now.
It’s getting harder. I pretend it is not. But it really is.
It’s been over a week that I’ve heard from my bestfriend/(ex)lover, so I guess that means it really is over. I kinda don’t care about losing the lover part, but I do care about losing my bestfriend. But I guess he didn’t care after all. I dreamt about him last night. In my dream I […]
I’ve been trying get the balls to commit suicide but there are so many things I am scared of before, during and after death.
For example:
-the pain
-grief of parents and family
-will it work?
-where i will go after?
My problems: Â (I don’t know why I’m telling you this) what can i say? I’m an attention-seeking fuckface.
-I’m fat and no muscle, only tall.
-bad childhood- divorce, no game with women, abused.
-Hatred towards women and have never had a real connection with a woman(hate mother, HATE)
-I’m broke, 18 years old but dad has no job and mom is a ***** about her money(she’s filthy rich)
-Overall, just tired of people telling me […]
swearing helps yr.tolerance for pain physical or emotional explains alot. i love getting my frustrations out through writing. cheryl from wendys yr and old.ugly.masculin twofaced ****. mary who is debatable “nicer” is a crater faced ***** enthusiist who loves grease! she acts all friendly to the customers and then to you shes overcompansatingly mentaly sedistic with her “intimidating manner” s this **** loves being incharge. i sentence her to get her eyes poked out while getting it up the ass by cheryl. these two lowlife useless pussys can rot in hell while going thru what i had to endure […]
hey. im abby and im 13… i dont know what to do. i am on medication for depression and anxiety. but they arent helping. if anything i got worse. i started cuttimg and became suicidal. the only reason im aliv  is because my boyfriend monte talke  me out of killing myself two nights ago. i have a therapist ut she is a *****. im sorry but i really hate er. and i  cant get  new therapist because there are none mor  in my area. my friends have been supportive but they are getting tired of all my sadness. please i am writing the letters […]
Number one on the list…
Connor.
That name means so much to me right now, good and bad. I have this friend, I use the term friend loosely, we met at a party just over a month ago. Since we met we have text each other every day for most of the day and we see each other at least once a week, usually more than that. He is amazing. He makes me happy without having to do a single thing, just being around him makes me feel so much better about everything and I don’t know why. I like him and he likes me, but here’s […]
And bittersweet.
I wish I was 15 again. I wish I could replay my entire life over and maybe then I wouldn’t so depressed. So bogged down with all these “Should have”s.
I want to run away. I want to run from all of this that I’ve failed. Run away from the college I flunked out of. The boyfriend I can’t seem to shake, that loves me, but reminds me of a life I want so hard to forget. To erase.
I want to feel the SWEET in BITTERSWEET like I did when I was 15, and not just pain. I want to feel you and taste you […]
No one cares and those who do i dont want them to becuase i willonly just end up hurting them, People have been saying tome that im a real andi should just die.Maybe there right? theres nothing left for me in thuis world.
two days ago i fell down the stairs i can now barley move as my neck and back killsme. the sad thing is that i KNOW i derserve it, i am repilsedwith the things i do and ii know i shouldnt be aroudn t all.
i really need help, but my family dont understand,neither do my frineds i hang around with, they think i’mover […]
Oh . my. fucking. god.
Long story short, I had a father who abused my mother, i would protect her causing me to get beat instead of her which was totally fine with me, as long as she wasnt hurt. one day he went too far, and she FINALLY -thank god- divorced the beast. that was around 3 years ago, and we haven’t kept in contact, (me and my father) . But my birthday, was around a month ago, and he sent presents for the very first time, whoopee. a fucking month late. cheers dad. not only that, but he sent me clothes, all in […]
So, Im new on here and I’m not sure how to start this, but i guess ill just get to it.
My Life is like a Lifetime movie.
The reason I started cutting was because of my friend, Andrew. He was literally my bestfriend…. and I kinda had a crush on him. I knew that he had problems in his life, but dont we all? Yeah, I feel like a total ***** now.
Anyways, his family life was worse than I knew. I found this out when I walked to his house. I knew his parents weren’t home(they never were) because his dad was a jackass who, for all […]
you said you’d never leave
you said you’d never stray.
but people always lie,
they don’t ever stay.
I hear you found another,
one who seems much better
than I ever was.
I hear you guys are going strong and you’ve stopped writing your sad songs.
You leave me here still writing mine.
Counting, waiting, willing the time.
I want it to fly
I want it go
cause time is a *****
you and I both know.
if it were’nt for time we’d still be loving.
but we are’nt.
You said you’d always love me
You said we were meant to be
you said my eyes shined […]
I want to give up so badly. When I do give up it won’t be sudden or unexpected. It will be slow. Slow and not so brutal. I can’t live with the notion that my father never gave a fuck and lives multiple lives to satisfy his ego. I can live with the fact that someone is always there for me. I can’t live with the fact that I’m such an ungrateful, self-centered ***** that can’t see beyond her own pain and suffering. I probably do deserve this. Then again maybe this whole thing called life never gave me a fair chance. I could argue […]
In my family there’s only four. My mother, my father, my sister, and I. Being 10 years apart (my sister and I), I looked up to her, always wanting to be like her, she moved out when she was 18, and I was so excited, and happy for her being independent, and all. Anyways, she moved to a city, we (my father, mother and I) thought she was doing well. She was in Uni, independent, and partying, just like any other young adult, but unfortunatley she was mixing her priorities wrong. Too much partying and not enough studying, lead to her not sending my parents […]
when I go to ask for help I get too scared of being sent away and everyone’s judgement. what if they all think i’m crazy or insane or something,
My brother tries to talk to me when I’m crying and it just makes it worse and i just want to punch him in the face.
the man i looked up too, my grand father, passed. mt dad lost his job so now we have no money. my grades keep dropping, I’m cutting more and more.
I’m scared and helpless, I want help and a friend. I have tons of “friends” but none that are actually there for me. My […]
I know for a fact that I get too emotionally involved when i watch movies/read books about depression/suicide/self harm. So why the hell do i still do it? When i do this i start to think of how shitty my life is. This makes me start to feel physically sick. They either make me feel like i have no reason whatsoever to be depressed and suicidal or they give me that false Hollywood hope. The characters always have some huge overwhelming problem that makes them depressed or whatever. Me? Well I’m just haunted by my past (been bullied badly), do poorly in school, rarely see […]
I don’t know what it is but somehow people dislike me right after they see me. I am nice, shy and I am hygienic but something on my is repelling everyone. When I talk to them … when I try to talk to them … they either ignore me or push me away with ‘what do you want fatty/*****/loser’. There is no one I can talk to. Even when we have to make groups at school, I am the last one to be picked (which really does hurt) or I just get those look ‘ugh, she is in our group’. I’m scared to say something; […]
Life and luck is such a pain in the ass at times. Here I am having lived with only 26 cents to my name and a few packs of Raman Noodles for the past 4 days.
I am really tired of surviving on noodles!!!!
Today I received my socal security check and the first thing I did was to buy some groceries and pay my past due room rent. Things have been tough for the last week; I could have really used some money for food.
Today, I was folding a pair of shorts that I had not used 5 months and felt a lump in the pocket: The […]
Ever had those moments where you wish something never happened or regretted something bad you really did, and you wish you could start over and erase those past mistakes? I don’t mean to sound like a *****, but it will never happen. I nearly fail to realize it every day and I still think about all the bad things I did and about the times where I screwed up, and never realized the effect it will have on me in the future. Those bad memories and mistakes come back to haunt me everyday, and I feel sad and I always have a burning desire to […]
It hurt so much keeping it in myself just thinking about it hurts l just really wanna end it so l dont have to think about it l have tried telling some adults. But it doesn’t work they just think lm a attention seeking ***** so lm going to end it soon can’t take the pain anymore