Yeah, because finding you dead, being shocked at what they see, calling your name, not hearing your voice, trying to wake you up, not feeling your warm skin or breath anymore, freaking out, shouting for help, crying, trying to get you to talk to them again, asking if you’re okay, wondering why you refuse to at least tell them to fuck off, calling the paramedics over, calling the cops, family friends and neighbors are now like WTF, the medics put their compassion to 300% for everyone’s sakes, the police give their part to determine malicious intent or otherwise, they try breathing life into you, they […]
Tag:
Brain
My life drags on.. Day by day.. Night by night. The easiest I can make it is sleeping, dreaming, only the dreams sometimes brings nightmares. Can life really be this difficult? Is it really possible that souls can be so.. Broken, that the only way out is taking ones life? Was it necessary to even put the broken souls on earth to just suffer in silence? To cry themselves to sleep? To be so needy of death to save them..? Are tears even worth it? I can put ink on paper and still have nightmares about waking up. Life is displeasing. What if I left? […]
MY PAIN SURPASSES MY COPING RESOURCES….that nailed it!!!!
IÂ have more pain than resources to cope with them!
IÂ am working on that!!!
 Friday I saw a counsellor
 I expressed my need to come up with a “””game plan””” for my life
 She helped in connnecting me to a women’s organization who will help with resumes, job hunts, following leads, ( because to my muddled brain this is the crux of my depression, not to mention being off work with a shattered leg)
Please God, help me stay focused and able to hang on until I get to that appointment on Tuesday.
Everyone always says I am so strong but for heavens sake people,  it is a front […]
…it came to me like a freight train plowing through molasses.
Society is slowly growing so stupid that it soon will not be possible to express it in words.
It is an existential stupidity.
In the frozen food aisle at the grocery store, right next to the chicken-nuggets, there was a section for frozen-yogurt dog-treats. Dog treats. Made out of frozen yogurt. I’m not sure what to make of it… Then, while in the meat department, I noticed a sign above one of the sectionals which said, “Natural Meats,” with an arrow pointing down. No thanks, I thought, I’m looking for the unnatural meats. Like cloned bats and […]
I made a concerted effort to kill myself which resulted in a DUI and landed me in the ER. Still trying to find a way to be sucessful. Im afraid ill be brain damaged or something that wont get me there. Not sure anout slitting mh wrists. Thougjt about renting a storage facility and parking my car in it leaving the motor running. However newer cars the emissions have been improved. I dont have the courwge to find a gun.
I wrote this in response to someone who just posted, and thought I’d share it with whoever needs to see it right now.
I have lived with Chronic illness and Pain for most of my life. I’ve been suicidal many times, have attemped many times, and am today…choosing to live for today. That’s all I can do.
If you’re thinking you can kill yourself, please read this first.
I lived through taking enough narcotics (over 100) and alcohol. I woke up in a psych hospital a week later. Apparently I was found too late to do anything for me other than see if I woke up. I don’t […]
I’ve lost everyone. My friends are dead or they’ve left me. I have no one.
My family doesn’t exist anymore. It fell apart decades ago.
I feel like a broken record repeating my mistakes and skipping towards the end. I fall and I use all my strength to get up. Always. Now, I feel as though its time for me to not get up.
Everyday I sat alone. I could be in a room with hundreds of people. I would still be alone.
I was always there…for anyone. I didnt care if I hated them, no one deserves to be in pain ever no matter who they are. I […]
I’ve been browsing here for some time now and I have to say each one of your personal stories have always helped me in some way so much obliged I strongly believe that expressing how you feel can assist you in finding a way to continue if it may only be for a few extra moments. Let me first say you can just call me Chance is a name I’ve aquired over the years for all the triumphs I’ve overcome over the past 10 years or so. I’m like everyone else I’ve loved I’ve lost overcome miscarriages with past relationships, […]
When I was young, I was ‘diagnosed’ as being gifted. High intelligence, learns fast. They forgot to mention the side effects. I analyse everything and everyone. I can’t stand being around people. They never say anything interesting. Meaningless discussions about the boring crap they do all day long and are planning to do. I can make almost anyone like me with the masks of sanity I put on every day. Cheerful to some, great listener to others and a serious guy to more others, everyone likes me. I have a good job and decent enough looks, by all accounts a great guy.
But noone sees […]
I sure fooled them. I took that precious college diploma, that winning personality, those great looks and trashed them all right before their eyes. My brain is jelly from all the pills and “treatment”, I’m about as charming as a corpse, and the scars & torn hair make me look like one too. And soon I’ll just be one of those anonymous suicides that they won’t bother investigating because they have other things to do. If the gang could see me now.
How and where do I start this story?
Well I am 37 years of age and have nothing to show for life, I am homeless and broke and I am honestly at the point where I cant take any more.
Over the last 5 years I have been diagnosed with ME/CFS which I fight everyday, I have had a marriage breakd down, I have had a miscarriage to deal with, an abortion I knew nothing about. Redundancy, attempted suicide, break down of another relationship, my parents disowned me now I am homeless and broke. I also think I may have an alcohol problem as I cant get through a day […]
i read everyone’s posts and i know you think you are in pain or have it bad, but you don’t know what that is compared to me.
i am suffering from a strange kind of insomnia where i never feel tired. i can go days on end without sleep and this has been going on for three months. somehow i don’t have the ability to feel tiredness, so i have no desire to sleep. my brain however has been losing its ability to think or remember anything new. the old stuff is still there, and i look normal, but i can’t think when i need to. […]
Last night i decide that im going to try to be happy and not let being depressed adn sucidial get to me:)
what I’m doing is…
I’m having sleeppovers more so that If i do haeva breakdown I most likely won’t do it in front of friends and then i won’t get sucidial thoughts in my brain
I’m going to try hareder in dance yes i did make the second line but im first line worthy adn i im pretty sure my teacher nows that so im going to kick but on thursday!
im going to study harder i mean good grades won’t happen on there own!:)
 I’m also im […]
I dont know how to start this. I feel head sick, my brain just never stops. everything is just going and going.it feels like its been years since i slept, like really slept, or woke up and felt like”todays he day”. my entire life i have always felt behind, like everyone in the world attended the”how to” of life, and i was late and missed it. sometimes i have dark thoughts, dark enough i wont put on here but they are terrifying. the thing that i dont get is i come from a good home. both my parents love me and my mom has done […]
Have you ever had a moment where you’re just thinking, not about anything in particular.. and those innocent thoughts take a nasty turn? Next thing you know you’re talking yourself out of hurting yourself. Moments of insanity I like to call them. When something in your head shifts ever so slightly and everything you’ve stuffed and hidden inside for twenty years tries to get out? It over loads the brain and you just want to make it stop. You’d do anything for the memories and the pain to leave.
I’ve never been able to fully tell anyone the whole story. Why not a bunch of random […]
What do you do when every comment anyone makes seems personal to you?
Even when those comments are not directed at you?
Even when those comments have nothing to do with you?
Even when those comments are not even applicable to you?
I get this problem sometimes. What the hell it is, I don’t know, and I don’t understand it. At any other time, I have a skin thick as raw-hide, but other times, it’s as if I’ve walked into an auditorium naked and everyone is staring, whispering amongst themselves. I don’t know why because I’m not naked, and nobody is staring, and any whispering […]
Hello guys, (edit: why is my post all written in green? its hard to read :S highlighting the text with your mouse helps)
I’ve been thinking about suicide pretty much my entire life. This is going to be quite straight up but bear with me. First, let’s talk a bit about myself so you now a little bit more about who’s writing this.
I am now 23 years old, on my last year of university here in Quebec, Canada. I’ve been studying marketing since I’ve always been really good at selling and customer service. My real passions, however, are sports, videogames and marijuana. Yes, marijuana. I won’t […]
Hello.
I think I’ll start with introducing myself so that, you know who I am and you won’t have to put it all together in confusion.
My name is James, but I like to be called Jamie. It’s more fitting and all of my friends call me that.
I’m 16 and enduring my Junior year of high school, Â so far the hardest year of my life.
There are many things that make me sad, which seems to be the case for most sincere people on this site, so I’ll just break my rant up into parts according to what’s going on.
My Brain
The thoughts that I have are so unorganized, […]
i’ve never posted here before. i’ve read a lot of posts, and wanted to respond to many… but i never could find the right words, because i would feel hypocritical telling someone “it will be okay”, when in fact it very well may not be. i know that’s not the point, but still.
i had everything i every truly wanted. i was married to the most beautiful girl in the world, who also was my very best friend. i have been head over heels in love with her since we first met in 2001. i was 19 then, she was 16. we both made some mistakes, […]
God is fair; if he gives you something, he’ll take something away. He gave me a good brain and a good body, but toke away my ability to make close friends. He gave me many talents, but toke away a good family. He gave me… many good qualities, but made my personality pessimistic. I guess personality couldn’t really blame God, because I developed it myself.
能力
åè¯: 能力, 能, æ‰èƒ½, 本领, 本事, æ‰å¹², 能è€, æ‰, 技, æ, 伎, 埶, 蓺