…You would think that my heart would stop allowing them in. You would think that my brain would stop being a pushover and finally tell my heart what to do. You would think that my heart had become so callous and cold from the way that I was treated, but it is not. I’ve been able to shoot and kill people and flinch not. I’ve been able to bloody a face beyond recognition and not feel an ounce of remorse…You would think I was cold…but yet, I allow myself to love again, care again. Repaving the painful path of cutting and suicidal thoughts taking the chance […]
Tag:
Breaking Point
My depression has returned.Â
I’m cracked, very close to my breaking point. Maybe I should break already. I just need an extra push.Â
I finally got over Nycolle a few weeks ago and as I basked in the sunshine, Jasmine, my cousin, broke up with me. It would have been our 1 month anniversary….Â
I love her so much, at first, it was so unreal, and I felt so numb, now I’ve begun to become more irritable now. My brother who knew about us, he doesn’t understand I’m pissy and pisses me off a lot.Â
I try not to get angry, but it just phases me too easily. When […]
Every day is the same. I wake up , ready to fall back to sleep. Back to the darkness of my mind thatswallows me whole, place of peace in a world of hate. No motivation left… Sleep through every class, can’t focus , cant process… Feeling stupid; can’t think. It’s only getting harder, everythings getting worse. Things get to me more everyday. I’m close to my breaking point. Sometimes I wonder what the easiest was is to go.. Would popping a pill bottle worth of tylenol do anything? I feel like im going to go no where in life as it is…
If anything could explain […]
Okay so when I first started this, I had not one thing to say on it. Now I have a slight idea…
When I first joined The Suicide Project I was lonely, depressed. I had suicidal thoughts running through my mind, tormenting me. I have attempted suicide 5 times so far. My memories haunt my every waking moment and I cut my wrists and upper arms so deep that the scars will never heal. I would cry because I hated myself so much, I hated my looks, I thought I was the ugliest person alive, my weight to me 7 and a half pounds or 107ibs, I thought this […]
I cried for the first time in almost 10 years. It was only like 2 or 3 drops, but for someone like me who thought his tear ducts dried out years ago, it was a real relief. I have been contemplating suicide for years now. But only recently have i reached my breaking point. I have no real friends, only acquaintances. Im a 20 year old virgin, who only had one girlfriend, but i never met her in person. Had my heart broken more times then i can count. I learn the hard way that nice guys finish last, because im hopelessly to nice for […]
Just ever feel like your at a ‘breaking point’ when you feel so depressed you just can’t take it anymore? Well that’s me…
All my friends who said they would be there for me all gave up on me or don’t really care. Everynight.Everyday. I’m crying. It’s not like my life is bad. I do have people picking on me but its nothing. I’m not really sure why I’m so depressed….but I know I don’t like it and I don’t want anymore of it. Though I’m not sure what to do. I thought of suicide but I thought I was stupid for thinking of such a […]
I’m sorry it had to be this way, I just can’t take it anymore. All aspects of my PTSD are taking over my life. I never smile anymore, and when I do it’s because I’m thinking of death.. I know this is going to hurt you, and i know you will all think I’m a selfish ungrateful monster, but I’m not. I just want to be set free, I want to be able to release the burden I carry, not to mention the burden I put on you with my meds, and hospitalization. Don’t think of this as a loss please, just think of how happy […]
So I’ve thought a lot about why my incessant mind always draws me back to ending it.  I’ve been down that thought pattern too many times to know that it accomplishes nothing.  Every time I get to the breaking point, I can’t help but consider my family and those who know me.  They hold my hand back simply by knowing I exist.  I never decide to stay here for myself, but selfishness is so tempting.  To imagine an eternal sleep that never involves the harsh ups and downs that life causes.  That’s why I really do love the “to be or not to be” soliloquy from Hamlet.
I don’t suffer […]
I wrote2 posts, but the hatred and depression and stuff keep coming back.
written by RogueShadow1281
It’s been a few hours after my last post. I am tired of this shit. I’m tired of living, I hate life. No point in having one. God is a false deity. The idea that God is Satan is very thorough, but I still don’t believe in a god. Or else he’s past insane. He keeps repeating human’s course over billions and billions of people and never is there a right person. Everyone is evil. I wonder what was Jesus’ motives. He was probably filling his ego. Maybe he was brainwashed.Â
I hope to join the army in 1 1/2 years. That’s too far away, though. […]
I don’t really know how to tell anyone these things but I’m at breaking point, I can’t find comfort from the only two people who stick by me…
I’m fifteen years old and I get bullied every day at school for being ‘Emo’ I don’t understand why. They don’t know my past..
When I was younger my Mom and Dad would argue a lot, I’d end up crying myself to sleep wishing that they could just get along, That was until my Dad started hitting me, at first it would be on rare occasions then it was every night. I was so scared even now I’m scared […]
Depression is every where all around me ever since i moved away from my family seven years ago ive never been the same.
last year on the 28th of september something happened that changed me forever.. i flew down for my birthday that week to visit my dad and his new girlfriend. But you see me and his girlfriend got off to a terrible start due to the fact she’d never met me and was telling me i needed to go on medication when she didnt even know anything about me or my life.. Dad explained to me that she herself suffered from depression on was […]
This seems like a lot of effort to say something rather uninteresting but it would be cruel to say nothing.
written by whycantijustuseanormalname
I have no reason, downfalls or problems for why I want too do this to myself all I know is that I want too. Senseless right? I agree, though I have been battling with it since I was about 12 so everyone has a breaking point right? No one has any idea of what I’m about to do either. Some in the past have seen how I am but probably thought as I got older I grew out of it as if it were a phase. Well if you’re reading this any of you… it doesn’t really matter any more does it. I’m texting my […]
I’m S. I suffer with bipolar disorder. I was bullied all through school and had trouble making friends. I was raped when I was six then again at 12 after which I attempted suicide. I grew up with a perfect family. I have always been extremely close to my mam, dad and sisters. Last year I found out my dad is not my biological father when someone emailed me saying that I’m there sister. I now have 7 new brothers and sisters and a biological father who is currently in rehab. My family hasn’t changed but I haven’t coped with it I’ve just pushed it […]
To the people around me I’m just that average semi popular kid who has a lot of friends and is always smiling. If they only knew how much effort I have to use to pretend like I’m this happy person. When in reality all I think about is ending my life. I weigh 120 lbs I’m 5’7 and I’m almost 18. I’ve attempted suicide a couple times with no success, I don’t even know why I continue to live this miserable existence. I suffer from terrible anxiety, bi polar, and bpd. I’ve tried multiple medicines, years of therapy their isn’t much left to try. I […]
When I registerd here I was seriously considering ending my life…I felt that I just could not go on anymore…my heart was broken, as well as my spirit. I had just finished crying my eyes out, and cursing God, why when he had the chance did he not take me…I had replayed are the hurtful things my husband has said to me over and over in my head…I also had just watch another amature video of him and his girlfriend post on the net…I watched and listened to all the things he said to her…and thats not the only one of them that he has […]
In my mid 40s old, have lead a charmed life at times, always looking for the thing that would make me happy. Bottomline nothing can make anyone happy it comes from within. So how do you do that when the weight of the world and the consequences of poor choices and actions culminate into one gigantic crushing smoothering ball and chain. Reality becomes blurred and all you want to do is check out. My children and the fear of death and HELL up to this point keep me from doing the worst however as they are several states away and thier Mother is awaiting me […]
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