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Bridge

Tonight… Maybe… Hoping it Will Be…

by Bloodi
written by Bloodi

I want to cry. I feel so horrible- yet so okay. But I’m not okay. I’m not happy. I’m a horrible person. I’m unhappy. I’m stupid. I’m worthless. I’m done.

Will tonight be the night I jump off that bridge? Will tonight be the night I run away? Will tonight be the night I finish myself off? Will tonight be the night I cut so deep that I bleed to death? I don’t know. But I hope so.

I don’t know why I feel like this- but I guess I do. I have so many questions.

Why me? When is it my turn to die? What’s my purpose?????? […]

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Isn’t it Ironic?

by Stereotype
written by Stereotype

I am 29 years old and two and half years ago I got a surgical implant called VNS.  The depression I had struggled with for 12 years, just left.  Two weeks ago I found out that the man (my uncle) who molested me as a child from age 13 and under is going to the same community college I have been going to and is graduating on June 1st, the same day I was going to graduate.  I will not be attending that graduation ceremony.  He has been asked to sing at the commencement ceremony as well.  These past two weeks I have struggled so […]

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Not long

by SoSoTired
written by SoSoTired

It’s now only a matter of time, I’ve been contemplating the end for many years and at my 27th will be the time to go, it’s never been clearer. Working out sufficient ways is a daily schedule, every bridge I cross is considered, every pill I swallow is worked out to which quantity will be lethal, what side effects may be incurred along the way. I am at least content in the knowledge that I want to sleep my way out.

I don’t need to write the way I feel, thousands of times makes no difference, and I don’t need to go over them any longer. I simply […]

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You told me you’d do it with me.

by MadisonCsondor
written by MadisonCsondor

If you have read my first post you will understand that my life is honestly shit. If you didn’t to sum it up. My dad beat me my whole life, I told him I wanted to kill myself and he told me to do it. He took me to the hospital when I over dosed but dropped me off left, and told me I deserved it. A bunch of stuff has happened since. I have been in 3 mental hospital for attempted suicide. At one point I wasn’t eating or doing much of anything at all. I would go to school come home, and sleep […]

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No hope

by No Hope
written by No Hope

This is my first post. I’m  a 31 yo female, a cutter, overweight and ugly….I deal with the pain every day. My dad is getting on in years and he has been forgetting a lot lately, which makes me even more sad becuz I know that he has real reasons to be depressed and want to die, but he doesn’t. But maybe it’s cuz he forgot he wanted to. My pain is mostly from love.
In 2011 I met someone I fell in love with, hard, and I know he didn’t feel the same way. How could he, I’m me! But over all this time […]

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My story…

by madworld
written by madworld

Hi everybody, I don’t want to reveal my identity so my friends or family could not read this (just in case). I’m 18 years old and here is my life story.

At first, everything was going perfectly, I was in the primary school, getting all the best grades and so on, suddenly, my life changed after me being 9 years old. New teachers came to school and fucked me over. They treated me like shit in the way that they restricted me to only 1 grade (C) and I’d get all C’s from every class, even though I’d do something for an A+ I’d get a […]

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I’ve never done this before.

by biramuxt
written by biramuxt

No one has any idea how completely suicidal I am. I know everyone out there must think I should get help. But I do not want help. I want to kill myself before anyone realizes I should get help. And now again, I know what you must think, well why would you be posting on a public forum? Well, I have just bottled up everything for so long without being able to tell a soul. All of my true feelings about everything have just been trapped inside me. I have to lie to everyone about everything all the time. It’s horrible. I literally refuse to […]

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by kristink
written by kristink

therapy sessions are getting heavy. considering hypnosis to look into possible abuse. i have been using pot to numb myself-trying to escape from myself. thinking gets me in trouble-the more i think the more i believe the abuse happened. it is scary to believe. opening pandora’s box. i don’t know if i am strong enough to handle what comes out of this. i think about suicide a lot. thinking about other means to an end. the gun option would require a little work. but there are other possibilities within easy reach. there is this feeling of impending doom i can’t seem to shake. been having […]

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The silence is deafening… The anticipation is building…

by Shepherds
written by Shepherds

Every damn year I have to endure this. It will be my 27th Valentine’s Day alone in 2 days… I don’t even know why I let myself get to this point when there is obviously zero hope and I never had any chance. I should have been preemptive and thrown myself off a bridge 5 years ago and then I would have saved myself from about 1825 days of emptiness and agony. I have been alone every single miserable day of my life. Telling myself that this is just another hallmark holiday doesn’t really work anymore, every year it is a brutal reminder of all my […]

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To my best friend

by gabe123
written by gabe123

I’m going to write this out here, not because you are likely to ever see this (almost certainly you’ll never see this). I know you stumble around these sites (not necessarily this one). Instead, I’m writing this because this is all a little cathartic for me. It’s kind of my own therapy for coping, to stumble around these sites.

In the few years that we have known each other, you have become my best friend, and I have become yours. You know this because we walked and talked a few days ago, watched the sunset in the park and refound each other. At least I refound […]

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Murder on my mind..

by Danni
written by Danni

My mother pushes me to the point where sometimes at night, I grab a kitchen knife and head towards her room and stand there, and watch her sleep…I feel the urge to stab her, and just end all the misery she gives me….but  cause I’ll be studying law soon, my legal sense kicks in…and  I do not want to spend 25 to life in prison….maybe I should murder her, then commit suicide…pondering many ideas….but haven’t chose one yet..

And just now we were in the car…and she was yelling at me, because she wanted to go somewhere and I didn’t know where it was but some how […]

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Found money.

by Dead Right
written by Dead Right

Life and luck is such a pain in the ass at times.  Here I am having lived with only 26 cents to my name and a few packs of Raman Noodles for the past 4 days.

I am really tired of surviving on noodles!!!!

Today I received my socal security check and the first thing I did was to buy some groceries and pay my past due room rent. Things have been tough for the last week; I could have really used some money for food.

Today,  I was folding a pair of shorts that I had not used 5 months and felt a lump in the pocket: The […]

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They Did It to me…

by thomk
written by thomk

A company who I spent three hundred dollars on their self help programs emailed me an ad trying to get me to buy more. I have been doing their programs all year! I definitely feel like I wasted my money on greedy people! Because they wrote me trying to sell me more with an ad titled “They Did it to me!” And that takes the cake!

I beg to differ. What does a person do when they REALLY did it to me, and in great numbers, continue to do it to me, and no matter what positive attitude have, no matter what fantastic in-genius ideas I have, […]

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Praying for the end.

by todiefor
written by todiefor

When you take your meds and yet the hills are lower but the valleys deeper, you just want to die.
Nobody understands and money only postpones the inevitable.
People can’t understand, and sometimes nor can I.
But the way life is I just want to die.
I have no hall nor gun and thus can’t commit this ‘crime’ but I do have a death wish and that is mine.
When the meds do nothing but society asks, that you still take them to be all “well”
But you know that death cannot come quick enough
Though I fear and dread it
It solves all ills

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I am afraid

by agirlinthisworld
written by agirlinthisworld

Tonight I have thought about driving over a bridge, drowning in my bathtub or just slitting my wrists with broken glass. It’s a disease. Suicide is something that takes you over and makes you weaker and weaker.

Strange that today I am willing to take my life when I remember pulling through all the difficulties, I am still alive but it’s not that I have to just keep on going through and surviving through yet another hard time but that I have to remember and re-live the pain of when I first held a bottle of pills. It used to be that nobody knew, that behind […]

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Is this the end

by catfreak
written by catfreak

I think it is, the end. There’s been no reprieve for me from this misery of a depression.

i reached out the other day and told my social worker everything I’d done in the last weeks in an attempt to get some understanding. I told her I tried to jump off the motorway bridge but didn’t think it was high enough to kill me plus what also stopped me was I don’t want to cause an accident for someone else. With this in mind I said my only option to kill myself  was to do it in the car the good ole fashioned way with a […]

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The light at the end of the tunnel

by Alayna
written by Alayna

The days get shorter and the darkness gets longer, but somehow I find myself feeling better than I have in weeks. I applied for a writing program and got an unpaid internship. Somehow I know something is going to go wrong and I don’t think I can handle it. I don’t want to handle it. I will overcome that bridge when I come to it. For now though I am going to act like I’m somewhat okay and keep living.

I’m scared of moving on and letting this temporary time of peace go…

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Untitled #1

by wildflower03
written by wildflower03

When everyone’s gone. When all is said and done. And you’re sitting all alone. Sorry in your pity, miserable in sorrow. You find you’re at a loss with no one to talk to but your disenchanted shadow. A has been of your former self. You’ve burnt the.bridge, wrecked the road, and torched the path. Signed yourself to hell. Damnation in consequence of all you never were. Take myself away from here. Hoping to be happier. Some day soon i’ll find myself. The question is will i get to live or die? Im guessing only time will tell.

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