I have had it with everything.
for all im concerned I have had a pretty good upbringing.
although my mother liked to drink a lot and party and take drugs, she looked after me and my siblings well, that’s what I thought.
everyone els wanted to take me and my brothers and sisters away from her. they got there wish.
and she just started picking herself up and I was going to live with her again.. the only person I trusted, loved, felt safe around… she died a year ago..
since then I have been picked on and bullied.. I have tried suicide a fue […]
Tag:
brothers
One year ago today I was faced with the most difficult task I’ve ever had to do in my 21 years. With the help of amazing men in my life, I checked myself into the hospital for 8 days where I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type 2 Depression. Following those days, I began a long road of outpatient therapy. I learned to value myself, to care for others in ways that would no longer hurt me, and to believe in what I have. I made some incredible friends along the way. This adorable kid we call “Ducky” gave me hope when I walked into the […]
Who am I?
I am close to 30, I am employed, I am appreciated at work, I love my mother, I have a somewhat understandable relationship with my father, I have 8 brothers and sisters, I have some friends, I had girlfriends in the past, I have a future.
From the age of 15 I felt weary of life, having a photographic memory and an IQ of 155, I know I can be whoever I want and do whatever I want. I excel in everything I put my mind to, but at the end of the day the only thing I wish for is to put a […]
Let me start off with the basics . I’m 13 almost 14 . I have 3 brothers ( my older brother is my half brother ) I’m the only girl . My dad wishes he never had my brothers and I , and his life would be so much better if we weren’t in it . He was an alcoholic and a drug user before he had us . He did a lot . Him and my mother were together for 17 year and are in the process of spilling up . My mother has walked in and out of our lives for the past […]
Hello, my name’s Olivia. Now this post might be long and sad but I will guarantee every individual who comes across it that it is the sad truth.
Now, for starters, I’m not here looking for answers, I’m here with more of a purpose to write a simple blog until my final days. I’d always envisioned that my last days would be spent alone in my room with nothing but my laptop writing away my last thoughts and feelings. And well, look where I’ve ended up, so in the long run, I can’t say it was all that bad 🙂
This is open to the public so […]
I can’t believe myself. 58 days I went without cutting. 58 days of suppressing the tears until i could lock myself in my room and cry myself to sleep. 58 days of resisting the urges with all my will. did I cut when my ex yelled at me and told me he wished I would just fucking die? Did I cut when my uncle killed himself? Did I cut on any of those days when life was just too much for me to get out of bed, but I had to force myself to because if I didn’t who would take care of my brothers? […]
To all my brothers and sisters going through rough times keep your head held high you made it to this point without failing.Hell something brought you to this website so theres got to be a reason youll still breathing. Find hope and learn to live happily i know shit always seems bad but youre strong enough to make it through. just think youve been through a whole lotta of other shit so you might as be able to withstan some more. find faith in yourself and bear through the storm youll be glad you never gave up. 🙂
I have become determined to prove myself and make others stop treating me like i dont matter.Im going to try a more serious attempt and gods will be done.I thought i had a reason for doing it but i dont.Apart of me says good riddance to this god awful planet apart of me says one more chance.Im getting older ill be twenty two in september.My sister will be off having a life in college.all my brothers and sisters will have left me.my parents will be dead ill be lost and confused I hate people who cry about boyfriends and girlfriends on here.i want to commit […]
I drift on day to day constantly battling with my meth-addicted mother, who hasn’t let me see my little brothers in almost 10 years. I’m stuck in a relationship where I’m not loved back (or at least he really doesn’t act like it), and I have only one friend, who is gone all the time. I am lonely, I’m hurting, and I am mentally messed up with endless anxiety and I also am bipolar and have fibromayalgia. And because I used to be a Jehovah’s Witness and left, I’m pretty sure God is pissed as hell at me so I’m probably doomed to destruction whenever […]
All i remember from my childhood is fighting. There was so much hatred in my family…in elementary school my parents got so bad i was scared i’d come home and my dad would be dead. He used to threaten it all the time. I remember things getting broken and walls being punched along with windows. My mom would constantly take me and my siblings away and threaten to not come back we’d stay at her best friends house but i began to get absolutely sick of it in 6th grade my parents were arguing so bad my dad walked to my brothers elementary school and […]
I can’t hold the things I feel inside any longer I ditched school so Ican be alone so no one can bother me but it just caused more trouble.. I feel like a burden to my sisters to my brothers to my parents I can’t stay happy Cus when I am the thoughts jut flow back in those negative dark thoughts ..
I saw this once. Every day, write a letter to someone in or out of your life. I posted something last night about feeling empty, and how I felt like I didn’t have a soul, but maybe I can find some meaning like this? I don’t know. I have to try. Maybe it will keep me from feeling like I’ve got nothing.
After all, I keep trying to tell people that only you can define your life. Only you can fill it with meaning, because without your love and care and work, it is, essentially, meaningless. Maybe I’ll define my life by confronting the things that […]
hello there.
my name is Ian, i’m 18 years old. I hate myself. i’ve been cutting myself since 13, but i’m not even remotely an emo. it just calms me down. it was okay, but tonight i thought that maybe just self-harm is not enough. i had this picture of me inside my head where i lie on my bed, bleeding to death, listening to my favorite album by Swans.
my mother despises me. unlike my two perfect brothers, children that she made with the man she loves, not my father. she hates my father. and me. my father doesn’t remember me. haven’t seen him for 15 […]
my whole life hasnt been easy it started when I was 2 my dad hung himself in his office at work I dont remember him except this one time we wer watching racing on tv i was on his lap thats all I remember of him then at age 6 my sisters boyfriend touched me I was too young to understand what happened but when he was caught doing it to another kid he was arrested police asked me but I was too scared,of what people would think of me he went to prison for 2 years then at age 8 we moved from my […]
Signs of the weary mind
Wearing a facade of happiness in passing time
Death gropes to find you in the darkness
But to no avail
Youth is still upon you
Hiding you in a veil,
From yourself and others
Lovers and brothers
Wishing for death to find you.
I’m 35, but I’ve been battling with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was a child. I was fat and smart in school. A perfect candidate for ridicule. Which I endured. Home wasn’t much better. My 2 brothers didn’t like me, and my mother is an alcoholic. My father worked all the time and when ever my mom and I would fight, and I tried to talk to my dad about it, I would be told not to since, because I was “trying to pit him against his wife, and she would win every time.” I ran away. When I […]
someone help me out. i feel so mad and depressed all the time.  my mom Gets into these fits of rage and when she is mad , I’m her main target.  My brothers and sisters never get into trouble, And they’d probably kill me if they had to. The last time they hot into a fight with me , after that i sat in the corner with my grandma’s old doll.😓😓I probably must sound like a  baby, but its feels really depressing to me and Im to the point of cutting and/or  killing myself . It’s like nothing is happy or fun anymore, if I […]
i can never understand why society is that way it is. My mom treats me like she doesn’t even care, im certain by now that i’m just a waste of space. My dad left when i was born but came back a couple years later only to just beat me and yell at me, my brothers and my mom. I struggle in school because i’m bisexual, im supposedly going to burn in hell. No one gives me a chance to get to know me, just one look and it’s obvious  i’m an outcast. I don’t want to fit in with society. I’m not gonna live […]
Kawaii: “Every species pollutes, but only one species tries to stop it. Every species gets sick, but only one can figure out why and stop it. We can’t run very fast, yet we are the fastest living things on the planet. We’re not very strong, yet we can move mountains. We have no wings, yet we’ve flown higher than any animal can imagine. Our voices aren’t very loud, yet we can talk to our brothers on the other side of the planet, even further than that. I have seen more than the keenest of hawks, gone faster than the quickest of all cheetahs, moved more […]
I can’t, I just can’t give more…
It does not really worth it to be around here… Pain after pain, leveling up, feeling worst. Behind every laugh there is a bitter memory which stops me and stops me, again and again. I was born not to love but to suffer. Everyone hates me. No girl can love me, no human will share with me.. I feel sad, more sad than ever. I can’t go ahead, I am ready to fade away. I will miss my dog, my ex-girl, family, friends, and most of all, my good old memories, which kept me going up, but is not […]