This is pretty tough. So what if I get through the day. and tomorrow. I’m 24 years old and when I’m homeless eventually I will probably have no choice. I’m gonna be the one living with my parents until they kick me out or pass. Then I can pass too. How do we escape this nexus. I know how but I still cant do it. Been a warrior for a while, IDK how much longer I can live, maybe couple weeks.
Imagine :
your at the beach only you , you walk through the sand and turn to the ocean staring off into the horizon.
you feel this pull towards the ocean so you start walking in;
3ft. Calm cool collected staring at the beautiful sunset
6ft your paddling slowly wading in the water staring at the sunset still.
10ft your getting closer to the sunset seeing its beauty.
14ft you think how your getting back.
17ft you realize you can’t see the shore anymore.
19ft you wanna go back but you can’t you don’t know […]
I don’t know. I’ve been having anxiety and depression episodes since I don’t know when. When i left high school i started to study. During my studies I broke down and my parents told me i do not need to study, i can just get a job and be done with it. But even then I was shit scared about the idea of real job. So I went back to the studies because I’d still feel shit while studying but at least I would not have to think about getting a real job. So the years went on and I got my first degree and […]
Im a loser but I shouldn’t be,when I look at myself as a whole I should be happy I used to be popular now im a fuzzled anzty thing I cant even chill,If only I could snap out of it
i hung in there with you through thick and thin..you threw me away now im the one thats left wondering why and what i did so wrong for you to walk away like what we had meant nothing to you.
you are just like the rest taking what you want and giving nothing, i actually loved you so fucking much it hurt me everyday.
why cant i just be accepted or find happiness i cant remember the last time i smiled and meant it..ah well the world wont have to put up with me for much longer!
Last week I felt pretty bad, and for some reason I asked my crush of a couple years ago why she didn’t like me. I know, stupid. But anyways, turns out her cousin which I knew as well had a crush on me and that’s why she wouldn’t date me, because she didn’t want to upset her cousin. Wtf? I mean, girls never like me, that’s like general knowledge. And this one damn time it actually happens, it ruins everything. Not that I would want to blame her cousin, she cant control it as much as I cant. But why? Am I so unlucky? Is […]
its not my fault i was born this way. its not my fault this has happened to me. im so sorry! i have tried so hard. it doesn’t matter. i am letting down those who i love the most. i cant live like this…
I just found it today. I don’t know you have read it or not yet… hope you enjoy it
Here is the full article:Â http://shakeoffthegrind.com/emotional-health/free-yourself-by-letting-go-of-what-you-cant-control
have a nice day!
i just made the previous post i apologise for my behaviour yeh i was in a deep coma for over a week and near death i came out of it i went into it with such megolomania and expierences i cant explain but i still want to say i feel and know in my heart nothing is to fear and love is forever no point going into it looll
i cant do this anymore. i cant keep holding back all these tears. i cant do it anymore. but idk why im even still even here still.
please let it stop.
I’m so tired, i cant take it anymore, i thought i was getting better even the thoughts had left my head, then they just came crashing back and now it’s just like it was before. I cant tell my family, they thought i was getting better how can i tell them it was just an act. that i still feel the crushing loneliness, the hatred inside. How do i survive? I don’t have anyone, nobody seems to care  and the ones i thought did care, just turn their backs on me. I just want someone to look at me and tell im not alone. But […]
okay well. not to long ago i got raped.
after that day and that day and so forth. people think im taking it well. cuz i dont show affection.
well i do.
in my head i do. im always playing back of what has happened. and it always come put in my head when i dont try to think about it.
one night i just cried. but i hold it in.
i cant take the things back. no one understands. my bf. i cant even talk to him about it. he gets mad and just doesnt wanna listen. and i understand but i need to […]
This is going to be a long night , I already started cutting
I could lie and say that everything gets better and life is amazing but that wouldn’t help. 3 Days ago I made a decision to take my own life, I bought a bunch of painkillers and vodka and thought I wanted to die… it didn’t work and I spent 2 days in the hospitals poison ward attached to a drip with a needle sticking outta my hand, I had to listen to my families reaction over a phone call and it killed me having to hear what I did to them, I will never forget the sounds of my mum crying, not knowing what happened. […]
I honestly feel like giving up, I dont know what to do with my life anymore. Yes I know I’m 12 years old I should just be happy. I’ve been suffering depression since I was 9. I started self harming when I was nine. It started of really small. It soon got worse and worse. Scars cover my body. Â I cant go a day without thinking of suicide. I’m bullied everyday my parents currently split up my 3 baby sister died. I’m cyberbullied, I used to be abused. I soon learnt to keep to myself I told ONE person about my past abuse everyone soon […]
It has been a little over three years. I was in depression most of my life but thought that was how life was supposed to be. Until i met her. She was the light that pulled me out of the darkness, out of the lonliness. After dating for over a year i lost her. It has been 3 tears. I still dream about her. I still think about her constantly. I love her so much i cant look at other women. My family are just people i occasionally talk to. Love does not exsist in my life, or in my heart. I gave that to […]
I got accepted into a university I really wanted to get into. I’m happy about it, but I still in someway feel depressed. I thought maybe that would be the thing that brings my mood up but then again I’m so easily ready to leave this life. I guess I should be grateful because I’m getting something I want in life and like I said before I understand that I have been fortunate but I have also been unfortunate.
I feel like a college can accept me but people I know or try and get to know cant. But why is that what the hell is […]
The love of my life has left me for another man. I have spent my life living for her, with her and beside her. How the hell do i just continue living without her? I am alone and i am depressed. Friends, Family, they cant understand. Everyone say the same message, everything will be better in time. I say everything could be better in time. But the now is what is too painful. Theres no one i can tell my thoughts to, theres no one left to trust. When shes the only person I could ever been completely open to and trust. I want to […]
I distract myself, i try to move away from everything but in those moments when ii dont get sleep and all i can think about is everything, that loneliness, the complete sense of failure within me and i realize that if this is life now, the future will not be any better. I’m looking for a way to end this existence because i cant continue any longer..
You say you understand but do you, do you feel the razor inside you?
Feel the demons around your head floating, finding every little thing you cant do, everything wrong with you,
Do you?
You see it’s like the disease is haunting me over and over and over, every day of my life i cant even have a good time.
But you understand.
Don’t you?