No more herb, and forever.
No more green ignition. Will the Joker have the last laugh.
I, versus Lobo’s chain and Deathstroke’s Claymore.
Back to the place where “simple,” beaten to a bloody death.
Attempting words, into the lost façade. Fade. No echo.
The cry of the millennium.
In arms chain, and iron mask. A bodied spirit.
The Lucifer. Crucified upside-down.
The Bringer Of Light. The hidden suffer. The secret truth.
A sad child of Satan world. This is the voice of the “New Age,” dying.
The preach, sabotaged.
My humble children. Our mothers of life.
Change, why does it not. Grace is dead.
The truth, […]
children
I want to end my life, but I have a 5 year old son. I’m a single mother, and although I have family that will take good care of him, I feel immense guilt at the thought of leaving him. He deserves a good life. And sometimes I think I might get in the way of that. But then again…I also think that I might be the best person he has in his life. I don’t know what to do. If I didn’t have him, I’d certainly take my own life asap.
But I think about how tragic his life would be. Left behind by his mother. […]
No matter how good I feel, no matter where I go or what I do, I always know that it’s coming. I’m scared to fall in love, I’m scared to make friends, I’m scared to have children. Because those things are all I’ve ever wanted, but I’m terrified that I’ll get them and then leave them. What kind of mother leaves her children on purpose? But I KNOW in my heart that having children won’t ever fix this. That as much as I may love them, I simply cannot stay. And I am SO sorry.
Hello, I’m new here. I have stumbled upon this site before while doing research for my own sad suicidal thoughts. Â I’m 24 years old and I am a wife, mother of two, and full time college student. Â My life has been a constant uphill battle against depression, which started when my father took his life when I was 11 years old. Â Sometimes I feel so alone in this world and I just want to disappear. Â I wish there was a place where I could just be numb and have no feeling at all. Â I started attempting suicide in my teenage years by cutting myself and […]
IF I HAD A HAMMER
If I had a hammer?
I’d hammer all the people
I’d hammer all the children
I’d hammer away all care
If I had a hammer
I’d smash this world to pieces
I’d crush away all reason
You wouldn’t have a prayer!
I’ve always wanted to have kids someday. Four to be exact. I know what you’re thinking, that’s a lot of kids. Well yes, but I love children and I’ve always wanted to have two of my own and to adopt two. I want to spoil them and love them as much as possible. I want to give them the world! But today, I stopped and I thought about the little boy or girl I’ll bring into this world someday.. and I realized I didn’t want that for them. I dont want want my children to grow up in such an ugly, hurtful world. I never want […]
I don’t exactly know why I’m posting this. I don’t believe that I will kill myself, at least not yet. Although the thoughts are there. Constantly. I have thought about how I want to go, why I want to go, and the impact it would have on those who love me. It will be painful for them, I understand that. They will however live their lives. Without me. I’ve become a burden, a failure of a man. A failed marriage, failed fatherhood, failed life. I have no dignity left. No hope for the future left. No hope for happiness. My story is rather simple, and […]
you don’t want them behind the wheel, but you don’t want to shove them in the trunk either.
Who here thinks that the very origin of their depression and suicidal thoughts lies within school? Not that the school itself actively aims at making its students depressive, but rather the fact that “natural selection” is a far stronger force between children than sympathy/ empathy. The fact that teachers cannot and will not truly help the victims of bullying and sanction the offenders.
For those of you who don’t agree with the term “natural selection”: Of course the “stronger” students will not kill off the weaker ones. But as long as there are some children who weren’t educated to be nice to one another (and it […]
How on earth could I be fair that a 17 year old girl who is doing her trial HSC exams get pregnant, that’s not the unfair part, the unfair part is that she was so happy she realised that this child would be her reason to live, this child could save her, she was so happy, she was so ready, she knew she would probably be a single mother, but that was ok, she had support, she wanted to keep it, but no, she miscarried, she was so distraught that her depression became worse than ever, she began a month long bender, during which she […]
Anybody that has been with CAMHS (Children Adolescence Mental Health Service) comment and tell me what your experience was like with them; mine was okay but there were aspects of CAMHS which i wasn’t impressed with and some factors that led me to get progressively worse!
The shooting today.. 20 kids dead… 6 adults it brought up so many memories, that may have even no relation.
First the shock that someone can hurt kids so innocent.. then i remember my past 2 people hurt me.. when i was so young.. to innocent to protect myself. At their entire control, my life was basically in there hands…
Then i thought of how these kids would suffer 5-10 years from now. Like i do today, the symptoms of my PTSD have cause severe depression, anxiety, insomnia, psudo siezures, multiple persanality disorder, and bipolar. I agree some of these may not have been a direct result, […]
I have attempted suicide more times than I can count from as early as a young teen and more recently over the past year. Finally a social worker basically yelled at myself that I was being selfish and if I suceeded I would be guarunteeing that they will have the same struggle with mental illness that I have had. That is one of my biggest nightmares for my children to have to suffer like I have for 20+ years. But now I almost resent the children for keeping me here. It’s a horrible thought and it […]
Sunday Night Ramble: Goals, gore and guilt. And fucking children. (Not literally, mind you)
There is no goal that I have yet to discover that would possibly seem realistic, rational or even in the name of “good†whether that be for myself or for others, that would compel me to keep living.. I have never particularly strived to improve the quality of life for others so it is only selfish and hypocritical of me to complain about my own degraded, dull, lifeless existence.
The criteria and fulfillment that many people seem to have and encourage hold no meaning to me. I don’t see the motives or reason behind such actions or choices that would justify its rationality. One of these […]
The name of the post kind of says it all, I was so sure I wanted to die. Up to the point where I had everything planned and ready, down to the exit bag made and the helium under my bed. I felt happy and in some ways free at the thought I would die. And although I still wish I would die in my sleep or fall of a cliff or something I do not feel ready to take my own life.
It started about two days ago, I was sat watching TV when I saw a women with her three children. They were the […]
No one is going to read this. I don’t know why I came back here to this website. I figured I never would after I found it the first time, but here I go again… This is exactly like when I found out I was pregnant, to a T; I was going to end my life, but then, an opportunity presented itself. I saw what might be a reason to live. Judging by before, assuming that the past paints a pretty good portrait of the future, I’ll be worse off than before. If I had gone through with everything before, I wouldn’t be hurting this way […]