Tag:

Clinical Depression

confused and scared of the dark.

by Wizzosis 8/24/2013

written by Wizzosis

Honestly, I don’t know how I ended up here on this website. I’m not even sure when I started feeling like this. It’s a scary thing when you’re lying awake and finding yourself thinking ‘What if I just died?’. ‘Would anyone care?’. ‘Everyone dies. Life goes on. People move on.’, ‘It wouldn’t be any different.’

I don’t think I could ever actually kill myself. I’m far too scared to ever do it. It’s just the fact that I’ve ever considered it that scares me more than anything.

I found lately, that there’s not much point in trying to explain to my friends how I feel because they […]

8/24/2013 5 comments

How do you switch off your suicidal brain?

by hastapasadas 6/27/2013

written by hastapasadas

80% ofÂ peopleÂ whoÂ commit suicide haveÂ made at least one previous attempt.

People with a diagnosed mental health condition are at particular risk.

90% of suicide victims suffer from a psychiatric disorder at the time of their death.

ThoseÂ at the highest risk of suicide are people suffering fromÂ alcoholism,Â clinicalÂ depressionÂ orÂ schizophrenia. Previous suicide attempts are also an indication of particular risk.

Up to 20% of survivors try again within a year, and as a group they are 100 times more likely to go on to complete suicide than those who have never attempted suicide.

TheÂ world populationÂ is estimated to number 7.094Â billionÂ by theÂ United States Census BureauÂ (USCB).

Rar Rar Rar…

How do you switch off your suicidal brain?

Stupidly purchased helium tank, […]

6/27/2013 5 comments

I’m just so tired.

by dontknowwhattodo 4/25/2013

written by dontknowwhattodo

I’m a 17 year old girl, and I’m still alive. I suppose I should start off with the positives.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression a year and a half ago, and most of my friends know. I don’t have the energy to do any work at home, and at college I can’t concentrate and just keep having to go to the toilets and cry. I’m going to fail all my exams, I’ve accepted that, and for the moment I’m just trying to concentrate on staying alive. I want to drop out and get a job, but I would keep breaking down and crying there too […]

4/25/2013 18 comments

My Story Part 1 (History.. My Past)

by Rosegirl 3/15/2013

written by Rosegirl

I don’t quite understand why it feels so much easier to write about my problems then to say them out loud I suppose it’s like my thoughts are my own little secret I mean that’s what your mind is for right? A space where you can detach yourself from reality if only for a few moments and go somewhere.. be it a memory or completely make up.. But no amount of day dreaming will save me from myself, Let me start off by saying I am now 19 years old to be 20 in August and have suffered from clinical depression for 4 years, I […]

3/15/2013 5 comments

Its gone on long enough

by Sarahjane 2/5/2013

written by Sarahjane

Where do i even start this sob story? I’m only 19 and from the age of 8 ive been depressed and not wanting to live, i tried to commit suicide when i was 15, and now at 19 i feel that low again that im just waiting for the final straw to snap and to do it again although i dont want to die but i dont want to live either, its a confusing stage. It all began when i was 8 and my mum was in a relationship with an abusive asshole who made me feel like shit and played mind games and i […]

2/5/2013 7 comments

it hurts too much

by depressedme 1/21/2013

written by depressedme

I have been having anxiety attacks since I was six years old. When I was 12 I had my first episode of major depression and at 13 made my first plan to kill myself. At 16 I was diagnosed with clinical depression and at 19 I was hospitalized for 2 weeks. Around the age of 30 I had clinical anxiety added to my diagnosis of long term depression. Now I’m nearly 40 and the pain never ends. Sometimes it recedes enough that I can laugh but I’m never really happy. The latest episode of major depression started four months […]

1/21/2013 16 comments

It’s harder than it looks!

by pinkylisa1980 12/22/2012

written by pinkylisa1980

I am a 32 year old woman who still lives at home with her parents, been made bankrupt and had had two relationships (both under a year).
Up until 3 years ago I had my clinical depression under control, but then it all went to shit! Something happened at work and I hit lower than rock bottom.
I went from thinking I had lots of friends, good at my job, happy and in control, go being locked in a secure mental ward, leaving my job, losing all my friends and was left with no one or nothing!

People think committing suicide is so easy and its […]

12/22/2012 9 comments

Title?

by MSandJG 11/5/2012

written by MSandJG

I know my life if no picnic. I really have no room to complain when you think of the grand scheme of things. It’s really pretty selfish for me throw this lifelong pity party for myself but frankly it’s gotten to the point where I don’t care. Yes there are people who have no one to love or care for them. There are people who are tormentented by people they are supposed to love or even complete strangers. Some people wake up not knowing where they’ll get their next meal or sleeping curled up in the rain. There are soldiers thousands and thousands of miles […]

11/5/2012 3 comments

Depression definitions

by kbains 10/25/2012

written by kbains

Look at these definitions of depression on slango Â so true but they dont say how to get out. We already know this stuff. Why doesnt it say how to get out? Or why we have depression?

â€£ A state of altered perception where one sees the world as bleak and dark. Â Feelings and actions such as purposelessness, disinterest, low self esteem, [self-harm], pessimism, suicidal thoughts or tendencies and a lack of motivation or energy may accompany it. It is not simply the feeling of being sad, but is a lasting state of mind that could be caused by a number of factors. Many health problems lead […]

10/25/2012 5 comments

Utter pointlessness

by ashpool 10/17/2012

written by ashpool

More and more frequently these days, I’m struck by how utterly pointless everything is. This is accompanied by a feeling ofÂ profound sadness. This usually happens during a fixed time period during the day (in the afternoon), when I’m alone. I think I can understand why people commit suicide — it’s perfectly understandable. If there is a button I can push to get out of this world, and if it doesn’t involve pain or decomposing body, I think I might push it. This feeling goes away if I take a walk or be among crowds, or interact with people. I suspect this is what they call […]

10/17/2012 1 comment

#4 A long time passed yet am back here. I wish something could help.

by loopey 10/12/2012

written by loopey

So, my story continues. Â I’ve got spinal problems causing chronic pain which I have lived with for years, but there’s no cure. Â Just strong strong painkillers. Â I’ve got mental health ‘issues’, to put it nicely. Â I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, to treatment-resistant depression, OCD and PTSD. Â Borderline personality disorder tendancies, with obsessional-compulsive personality disorder. Â My current diagnonsense is Bipolar II with complex PTSD, chronic pain and chronic suicidal ideation.

Recently though, this chronic level of suicidal thinking has escalated into something much deeper and darker. Â I am back to believing that things definitively cannot get better; I cannot get better as I am so […]

10/12/2012 4 comments

What’s to stop me?

by f-r-i-g-h-t 8/8/2012

written by f-r-i-g-h-t

I purely and thoroughlyÂ hate myself. There’s no sugar-coated layer to hide the fact of the matter.

Ever since I was a kid, clinical depression has lingered inÂ every thought I’ve conceived. In public, IÂ have it all: grades, musical/athletic talent, friends to fuck around with on the weekends. Reality? I’m smart, but totally unmotivated. I can answer questions in class and still not account for shit when it comes to my work. Music takes up my whole time, so what’s left for sports? I don’t want to get anyÂ unhealthier,Â but Jesus,Â my motivation spectraÂ is asÂ broad as the water level in theÂ Saharra Desert. And sure, I have friends… Even that’s subjective, […]

8/8/2012 3 comments

I’ve always been lonely. It’s like I don’t belong at all( new to this site)

by suchalonglastname 6/29/2012

written by suchalonglastname

Hello everyone. I don’t understand my depression and often times I want to kill myself for being so goddamn fucking stupid and putting my boyfriend through hell. Me and my brother both have clinical depression. This isn’t something that can be fixed with just “positive thinking”. We need our anti-depressents. I hate to say the most cliche thing any depressed person could ever say but I really have always been a lonely person who never could hold a friendship. Kids wouldn’t tease me,They would belittle me. This isn’t what has made me depressed but this has shaped my lack of social skills. This world and […]

6/29/2012 3 comments

Do my parents even care?

by Nicole 6/24/2012

written by Nicole

I’m probably being stupid, I keep thinking that the only reason that I should continue living is so that my family don’t end up hurt but I’m starting to question my theory. I found my release a week or so ago, cutting, it helped me a bit. Whenever I got shouted at for poor conduct at school or something, I’d concentrate on the pain and everything else would just go silent no matter HOW hard they scream at me, I just wouldn’t hear it. It’s become a routine, planning out and researching how to end my pathetic existence that can’t even affect society, if I […]

6/24/2012 10 comments

That Lie about how things get better… they don’t.

by Age 36 6/16/2012

written by Age 36

I wish I had killed myself when I was 16. It’s been 20 years of regret. Diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, PMDD, traits of OCD, and a horrible eating disorder which has ruined my life. At age 36, I’m living a life I never wanted. I thought I’d be married by now, own property, and enjoy a prosperous career. None of which has happened. I made a horrible career choice by becoming a teacher, and have hated myself for it for the past 11years. I fake it at work. Put on that professional face. The truth is, I hate every aspect of […]

6/16/2012 7 comments

Torement.

by Empty_Soul 6/14/2012

written by Empty_Soul

Severe clinical depression, anxiety disorder.. Cutting, 2 failed attempts. I have felt lost, hopeless, disconnected from life and it’s surroundings. Everything and everyone I’ve ever know has left me alone. I feel so confused. I believe I don’t have purpose anymore and I don’t know how to fix it. Many thoughts of another attempt plague my mind. I’ve had terrible luck with women in my life. I found this site and I knew I needed to get this off my chest. I would like to know if anyone can relate to me .. And if you guys/ girls want to know more about my […]

6/14/2012 2 comments

Every time

by alautox 6/7/2012

written by alautox

Every time I’m drunk I feel deeply suicidal, even if im with good friends or family. I feel my mild depression flares up into clinical depression and im actually ready to make an attempt to end my life when ive had a certain amount of alcohol. The simple answer is to give up drinking but I feel that when im drunk enough, I can make the attempt. Ive never attempted suicide before but I feel its going to happen very soon.Â Life just isnt working out for me at all, im not built for it… I think too much and thats my problem, every single little […]

6/7/2012 0 comment

down-town

by schmatto 5/7/2012

written by schmatto

It is ‘down’ town tonight here [on the other side of the world from most of you]

I guess most people realise eventually that they’re totally alone, it’s how much that reality gets to you and how long you have it going through your head.

I’ve had clinical depression on & off most of my life, my wife just doesn’t get it, sharing it with ‘friends’ it ends up consuming the relationship, my kids have seen all their teenage years watching me struggle along.

The only thing I’d like from here is somehow to connect a bit, have some things in common with others, like i feel i […]

5/7/2012 3 comments

I can’t be the only one..

by katkilljoy 3/5/2012

written by katkilljoy

my name is kat. i’m 17, and i’m on this site because I feel like..
I have nowhere to turn anymore. clinical depression never get easier. i’m so young, I have so much to live for. but, depression drains you. Emotionally and physically. I spend my days on the couch thinking. that’s all. just thinking. when you have all the time in the world, you get lost in your mind.
when your mind is as tired as mine, you go mad.
insane.
the medication makes no difference. what I need is support. i feel too weak to give myself enough the push I need to […]

3/5/2012 3 comments

Never good enough!

by CSIfan 2/16/2012

written by CSIfan

Im 22 and have had so many issues over the last 10yrs, Anorexia, Bulimia, Clinical depression, bi-polar you name it. I’ve been in 7 different hospitals and am finally home after a 4yr stay. It seems even though i am home im still petrified of a normal life everything terrifies me. I finding it hard to get a job as employers ask for a criminal records check and mine will show cautions for criminal damage and narcotics possesion (Im not proud of that), even going into town on my own or taking the bus is so god damn scary. The idea of sociaising is so […]

2/16/2012 0 comment

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