Lamenting silently in my room. Had a serious mood swing. One moment I was happy and at ease and the next I just wanted to curl up in a corner and cry. My brother says that it isn’t okay to cry. Is that true? Is it bad to cry? I’m pressing charges on my friends’ cousins’ for sexual harassment. I didn’t do anything to them. In fact, I never ever spoke to them before. My grandmother won’t talk to me. She waited to tell me that supper was done after it got cold. Yeah, she really loves me huh? In a way I don’t blame her. I […]
Tag:
Cousins
I can’t believe I let my manipulating ex back into my life! All he does is use me. My best friend/sister has been gone for over a month and I have no one else. I was weak and vulnerable, and he took advantage of me.
My family, needless to say, notice nothing. My dad is too busy with work, my step mother is a self ***** and my grandparents and aunt prefer my younger cousins over me. My mother hasn’t tried to contact me sine Christmas 2011.
The pain is eating at my insides, but I have no way to let it out. I used to cut […]
After a hard year of being controlled, ignored and pushed around, it’s finally come that I am moving away from this demoness… I have a blog by the way if anyone wants to read it, how wrathful and hurt she’s made me…
So, let me tell you a story of the bestest cousins who one’s true colors comes to show how evil and a bully she is…. It starts with moving in together, oh, what a bad idea that was!! Oh, I will also post this on my blog as well, which I will post at the end, and it will be the final farewell one […]
Let me start this off by saying that I don’t have a bad life. I have two loving parents. I have a brother, a sister, and a sister in law who all love me. I also have a niece and many aunts, uncles, and cousins who love me. Yet, I still feel alone. I feel like nothing I do matters. I feel like I’m drowning in the ocean and every once in a while I catch some air, only to be forcibly dragged back down into the current.
I am not a horrible looking person but I refuse to live the “social norm†that people […]
I really can’t take it. I just want to take a break. I just want to be happy. I don’t want to try and live like this anymore. I tried okay? I tried so hard to focus on life. And I just can’t reach it. Even though I’m young, I’ve never felt this pain ever before. It hurts as bad as hitting by a truck. I want to cry, but all I have is a mask that covers me when I’m badly injured. I told them, I was fine, just felt kinda tired for sleeping too late. But no. I tried everything to end this. […]
It wasn’t violent, the attempted rape. It was mostly tearful, with me pleading for the man to stop. And sick and disgusting. It smelled gross and dirty. I could smell his sweat, I can still smell his sweat. I will never forget it. I will still remember the scent after he got done, after he realised I want going to let him. I fought in my drunkenness.
He had told me that he wanted to talk to me.
William Triplett was his name. He was an ex of mine, and I had just turned 16, and he was 25. I was desperate to find someone […]
So a few of you knew how my mom threatened to kick me out the other day.
Well it’s happening for real. Tomorrow I’ll be packing my stuff in preparation to move out of my house and into someone else’s. There’s a couple at my church willing to let me stay in their home, so I’ll have a place to stay.
I’m 15. My mom got kicked out of her house when she was 13. My dad left his house when he was 16. I guess you could say we all moved out early.
Anyway, I just want to let you guys know that this […]
Yes. I’m a 16 year old girl. No.I don’t want to kill myself over a boy. Or a girl. Or a bully. Or drugs. Or any of the typical things i’ve seen so far on this site. I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with me. By all rights, i should be a happy kid. I have a good life, I’m smart, talented and funny. So why do I want to die? Why is it that I want nothing more than to not have to exist anymore? Let me tell you why.
My mother and father both had perfect SAT scores. My aunt is the head of […]
Im excited.
No, really I am.
I’m going to Miami in a couple of days. It’s for my dad’s work and my cousins wedding. I’m going to see me family. im going to get out of this cold weather. Im going to see my cousin have the best day of her life.
Buuut, I’m also going to have to wear a swimsuit.
And, see my grandmas face fall when I walk in.
She doesnt like me that much. I’ve heard her say so. She doesnt approve of my “lifestyle”. She says Im a slutty, skater, who has no self control. I’m also a mess, bad example, and a future druggie.
Thanks […]
Yesterday I went to a family Christmas party on my mom’s side of the family.
Two years ago this party was something my entire family attended, all 5 of my sisters and I would go together, with our parents. We were all there every single year, together.
However since that time, everything has changed. My 19 year old sister was kicked out of my family when she was 17 causing my parents to accuse anyone trying to help my sister of taking sides. Because of my parents choices, I wasn’t allowed to see my sister, grandma, aunt, or cousins, except for once or twice a year. […]
Dear Shekiera,
I words can’t possibly express how much I miss you, everyday I think about you, sometimes with a smile on my face and other times with tears. I remember the first time I met you, you were grade one and I was in grade two. we were both shy, socially awkward and got along great because we didn’t have to say alot to have a good time. back in grade two I can’t remember exactly what we would talk about, but I remember that we used to walk around and talk about “what if’s” and “when I’m older I’m going to’s”. You see, Shekiera, […]
Words hurt, but actions hurt most.
This is my first post.
I wish someone really understand me. I think I’m going to commit suicide tonight. I know that my family will be better without me. Everyone will be better without me. If nobody support me, Why should I live? I wanted to do a lot of things in my life, but nobody’s approval. I don’t want to feel anything anymore. I’m sick of people telling what to do, what is right and what is wrong. They drive me crazy and then they says I’m a psycho. I hate lies! Why is more easy to invent, to make a lie, when is […]
um,i don’t know how to start this,i’ve never talked about my suicidal thoughts to anyone,ever,but i felt like you people can at least understand cause you’ve had it bad too. well,let’s start with family eh? my family,my father is a ***** who left me and my brothers with our mother for 10 years and now he wants me to get back with him. me and my brothers tried to forgive him for all that he’ve done through out all these years but he wouldn’t let us. it’s like he wants us to hate him but go with him,and leave my mother alone. i’m the one […]
Last night, my uncle had my entire family to his house. My aunts, uncles, cousins, the whole crowd.
At first, I looked at them and felt bad. Would my death hurt them? How could I do that? In a few months, they would be at my funeral. Everyone was happy, and I would ruin it.
But as the night progressed, I began to feel glad I was leaving. I knew that it would still make them sad, but it really was for the best. I didn’t fit in. Everyone around talked of simple, insignificant things. They were all wrapped up in their work, birthdays, money, sports. None […]
I am not perfect. I have many regrets. I have the scars to remind me of my mistakes. I knew a boy in middle school. He was 10 and had beautiful hair. When we were in high school he overdosed. Six months ago, I went to visit my family. I saw my uncle as I was getting ready to go swimming with cousins. He wanted to talk but I told him I had to go. I took a picture with him, went swimming, came back home. A week later he hung himself. 5 days ago my friend put a gun to her head and killed […]
I guess ill start from the begining… I grew up without a father, for my childhood, I never had fun because I was always forced to do homework from books that you can buy. If I did a problem wrong, I would get hit with a wooden stick on the hands or slapped in the face… I always enjoyed games since I grew attached to it considering my mom was at work. Playing games also were the part of the my life where I would unstress my selfI also never had an actual summer since my mom still forced me to to spend all my […]
underage high schooler living with  a clinically depress/paranoid mom.
everynight around 11pm-8am my mom would have these urges to freak out/cry/yell. the things I hear is that everyone treated her like crap. she would look in the mirror and yell at herself how she gotten so ugly as a person. the “freak outs” have been going on for a year. it’s getting financially and emotionalbad worst. let’s say, if tmrw I loose everything I own I won’t be surprise. I’ve been clinically depress since the 7th/8th grade. so far I’ve attempted suicide twice. ended up in the hospital and depression center both times. seriously I think […]
I guess this is part my story; maybe just the trigger to my suicidal thoughts.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I might be depressed, stressed, tired, angry. My parents have no clue what goes on in my head. We’ve never been a close family; my parents are seperated, so my dad visits once in a while. My mother likes to get drunk and cry about the seperation. My siblings go out and ignore this living hell we live in. And I’m the one that has to go through the pain we all go through.
I think my insecurities first started in the summer of 2006, […]
It’s funny not many people ask about my scars. But today someone i worked with saw them and asked. I actually stumbled over my words. I didnt know how to answer. Reading back over that, not funny. But you all know what i mean. Anyway I made some excuse about them being caused by me fallig off a motorbike at my cousins house. Which i do have one scar from. On my thigh. I know she didnt beleive me because of how they are positioned and some are new. And the fact that I told her it was nothing to start off with. Any suggestions […]
They dont know how badly i want to die. I’m suffocating. Every day is a battle. I think about how easy it is for me to just overdose or cut to deep. dont want to feel pain anymore.I dont want to be stuck here. I can’t do this anymore. I just want someone to notive how much I’m hurting. It hurts so deeply its a struggle to breathe.i cut to take away the pain for awhile. But when it’s this bad i cant do anything. I’m a basket case. I hate it here. I just want to be free of myself. I am […]
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