so ive been on here because of a girl, her name was kaylee and she pretty much treated me like shit for me doing nothing at all. but i’ve gotten over her and im so glad that i did because i don’t deserve any of that crap i found a way better girl that i know is not going to treat me like that. so i hope that girl out there actually realizes how bad she hurt me. like it just hits her one day or she gets hurt with the guy she’s with, just to see how it feels… her lying to me that […]
Tag:
Crap
well im a thirty three year old single man who has no real friends,i did not go to the military and i did not go to a four year college after highschool,as a matter of fact i dropped out of highschool, i got a GED and i went to community college,ive have been in and out of school for the past 14 years……whats worse is that i became a recluse christian type of person when i was in my best years nineteen through twenty-one,i started trying to live at twenty-six years old after being into a repressive christian life and i traded my sense of […]
Well I have been listening to a lot of George Watsky since I came back from VidCon… In case you don’t know, he is a youtube poet/rapper. If you have a problem with bad words, don’t watch the video I am putting here 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-cT8Qe7y3k&feature=BFa&list=UL_dpCTMLTO4c
Also:Â http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtQqK7BWq_c
Anywhozies, it inspired some of my newer, longer poetry… Sorry if you don’t think it flows… neither do I! We can be thought twins!
Anyways, it’s just something I wrote last night really late…
They say: Come on,
Cut the crap,
Be glad,
Be happy you’re alive!
That’s where I stop and think…
What if the very thing that depresses us the most,
What have I bought into
My world is sprilling out of control
And all that I can turn to
Is that habit in control
My life is not my own
And yet I come back time again
And yet I know I’m crucufied
I know this thing must end
And when will I but learn
When will I be justified
And when will I be free
From this sin I can’t abide
And yeat I lead myself
Into temptation now and then
And still I’ll aways be indebted
Time and time again
Warning: May Ramble
Note: as I type this, I feel calm and acceptance of this
For the past five days, I felt a lot like Noble Six. Crap starts showing up, the ones you’re freinds with are gone, and you’re stuck dealing with a Massive amount of problems.
Unlike Spartan B-312 though, I wasn’t fighting Covenant to save others, I was fighting to save myself. If for no other reason than to fufill a random dream; that of me helping others ready to quit, helping them back on their feet to fight back against the crappy dog-eat-dog world of today.
The past five days were my worst; always […]
I know, it’s probably strange seeing an 11 year old on here. But my mother recently died. My sister hates me and bullies me all the time. I’ve been depressed since November 2011 but no one ever notices. It may be bad if i cut my self but i have done it. I’ve been trying to stop but its hard. I am getting there though. My sister talks to me like i am crap. She acts like i don’t mean anything. But I do. Ever since my mother died it hasn’t been the same. I miss her. I talk to her. I have been bullied […]
Everyday brings the same crap, everyday I wake up nauseous as hell.
Everyday I think about how I can successfully kill myself. My parents think I
need to be under medication, because I find it hard to express emotions and feelings when I find everything pretty shitty.
Any temporary happiness I have is always clouded with suicidal thoughts.
As each day goes by sleep is something I resent more and more. Truth is I hate sleeping because I hate waking up to another shitty day
in this existence.I live with the innate idea that if I was never born, I would be happier since I would […]
Yup, some things have happened since i last came here. i think i’m in love, but i hate getting hurt so much. My best friend came into town but right now she’s not here. Thats pretty much all that has happened that is good. I still am depressed and suicidal but again, i can’t leave my best friend alone in this cruel world. Wish i could go right now. Still am addicted to cutting. I’ve burned myself but its not the same without any blood. I’ve seriously been thinking about drugs. I need something that will help relax me and maybe i’d finally get some […]
I dont want you to know my name. everyone says ‘ you know my name, not my story’ and i want this to be the other way round.
So my mum and my dad split up when i was a baby, things were fine then when i was 11 i stopped talking to my dad. he said some stuff, and i got upset, anyway, we dont talk anymore. So thats that, and then when i was 14 my mum got this new boyfriend. i just dont like him, i dont know why, maybe its because theres ten years between them, i dont know. hes very […]
I’m a christian. I love God with all my being, but i always wonder to myself why I’m here. My life is a miserable wreck. I’m fat and ugly. I’m not “popular”. I have almost no friends. My family is way messed up. My Dad doesn’t give a crap about me and my step mom is a snobby psycho. My sister is moved in with us for reasons I have no right to explain. My sisters daughter is everything I’m not and makes me feel jealous everyday, my little brother is a major douche bag and is probably going to end up caught […]
I just read a definition for suicide calling it a cry for help. It really annoyed me, because in my opinion it’s the exact opposite. Suicide happens when we feel there is no help to be given whatsoever, suicide is when we can’t help ourselves and can’t be helped by anyone else. Suicide is deciding that we’ve had enough of this fucking world and don’t want any help staying in it. The only way suicide could possibly be a cry for help would be if it was a purposely messy and obvious attempt, or if the person told a shitload of people their plans, or […]
Its not even funny anymore why am I getting into these difficult situations and being blamed for shit which i havnt done.
First thing that happened recently is my ‘best’ friend turned around one day and just told me to go away and to never talk to her again…. I was like ok? wth… so anyways a couple of days later i talked to her again and she starts that crap again telling me to fuck off.. by now I’m like what the fuck have I done… So I ask someone else and they say I apparently I was taking about my friend behind her back… […]
I’ve been compared to my sisters, my family and my friends the entire time. I’m good at different things, but everyone seems to forget about them. I’m a failure to everyone around me. I try to “feel good about my stuff” but that is complete crap when you feel like the entire world has been against you your entire life. I don’t know how much longer I can do this.
I’m at the edge of breaking into tears, at the edge of an hysterical attack… I want to scream and yell and hit the walls and bit my arms and just lose my self control for a little while. But right now I just can’t, I can’t go crazy in the middle of my class.
Today I’m having a down and it’s the worst, I’ve been feeling like crap since the very moment I woke up. I think that if I die, none of the ones around me will even notice, I’m nothing more than the shy girl who hides behind the anger and her phone […]
I am starting to feel like I am being punished for being alive, I wasn’t truly meant to exist anyway since I was unplanned. I can’t have one good thing happen and if something does, I pay for it later on. I have been through so much in my life, was mentally and physically abused by my dad, had to watch it happen to my mom who is disabled, been into women’s shelters, was raised in a cult like religion which left me without friends, social activities was highly restricted, no help from them with what was going on at home since they said in […]
I am trying to hold on, but I have been steadily tidying up my life these last weeks and I am throwing away my career and my life very quickly. I am steadily working towards the end and although I feel really bad right now, I know I will hold on another day or two. I keep trying to find excuses to carry on just one more day (new tattoos, new clothes/shoes to be bought tomorrow), anything at all. But it is all crap and means nothing. It is just a distraction from where I know I am heading. I hate to set deadlines, none […]
I have this one so-called friend who’s always calling me pessimistic and way too negative. She’s one of those intensely annoying types, unbelievably selfish but able to hide that trait under a mask of caring before backstabbing for her own enjoyment. The kind of girl who asks how much work you’ve been doing just so she can brag about how hardworking she is before starting on at you and making you feel like crap… Basically, she’s poisonous.
But yeah, she likes to call me a pessimist which I am not. I’m not a pessimist at all, I’m simply a realist who’s tired of bullshit and doesn’t […]
i’m new here and i will get straight to the point: i suffer from depression that is killing me, i feel so insecure, so doubtfull of myself and i sometimes hate myself for who i am and i’m afraid what will become of me. i just have this feeling and i just can’t turn it around. i have been bullied at class, and i’ve got no friends in my class. they all think i’m weird because i listen to heavy metal music and R&B music together. i don’t like hiphop and that kinda crap and that’s why people in my class think i’m weird cause […]
who am i kidding im a nobody. im no artist im not even worth calling trash. i try and try but im still not getting any better with my art.. i cant even design my own original characters without it looking like crap. so y should i even bother. im a failure as a human and an artist…
i feel unloved and not wanted… my friends seem to only use me for there own needs but when it comes to my feelings it does not matter. im a nobody… why wont anyone listen to me? why wont anyone lend me a shoulder to cry on? everyone constantly makes fun of me and my looks… i know i dont look good but i still… if they only knew how fucked up i was then maybe just maybe they will care for me as much as my beloved did. at the same time i have a feeling that most of my so called friends would […]