Tag:
crazy
I’m writing this and it’s early as fuck.
I can’t sleep. I just made a grilled cheese too an it was great. Early in the morning is when my thoughts are crazy.
I was thinking about how I feel like the day I die my soul will finally find peace . It will be a relief . I’ll finally get to rest. I wish the day could come sooner.
I was also thinking about a afterlife . I wouldn’t say that I believe in God , but I believe in something . I hope there is something after this world . Maybe this life is hell? There has […]
how is it that the only reason i have for not killing myself is that I’m worried that my cat won’t have a good home??? That is sad. I have no one. I am alone. People make me think I can talk to them and when I do…..They back off. I can’t depend on anyone. My boyfriend brok up with me because I went off on him because I was paranoid he was doing the same. I inevitably caused him to leave me permanently. I wanna die. But I’m scared that if it doens’t work I’m going to have bills. I have no job, no […]
I think I drive my self crazy. Last night I woke up at 3:11am , I always wake at this time. The numbers are really significant . They say that angels are trying to reach to me to give me peace . Numbers freak me out . And math freaks me out . Newton invented math , BUT HOW THE FUCK IS IT SO PERFECT??? I was up to 7 am this morning researching shit on this . It makes me head hurt . Then I started researching more philosophical views on life . All these geniuses were depressed too . I think they knew […]
Lately I have had insomnia (again). I mean I always liked not sleeping at night, guess I just liked the quiteness and tranquil aspect about it.
Yet too much crazy things are happening in my life. Do you guys ever feel like that? How reality seems stranger than fiction, and not at all how like it used to be when you were a kid. I think I am going insane, or maybe I already am…
I don’t know why crazy things are always happening in my life. It’s more than just a coincidence. Like how my life panned out. It goes all the way to my grandfather, […]
Lately I’ve been depressed, three weeks ago me and my girlfriend broke up. We’ve been together for about 2 years, in August my mother passed away, and well she kind filled with hope and happiness, and lately I lost all fo that hope, the joy and happiness, I turned to drugs, I’ve been in bed, not motivated to goto school, to ashamed of myself. I know what I’ve done wrong, Me and her had a pretty heated fight, and I said she didn’t care what I was going through, cause she didn’t really acted like it, that’s hwo our breakup started, the next day we […]
Before I get into all the crazy stuffs, that’s been happening in my life… I felt like I needed to vent a little about love problems.
For some reason I’ve always had girls who were too good for me interested in me. Like these are my dream type of girls and they like me for God knows what reason, I am a really secluded and shy guy though, and I am Korean American.
Yet because of all these crazy things happening in my life that has some to do with religion, I always bottled myself out from the outside world, since I changed starting at 17 or […]
I’ve lost control of everything. I am failing the two college classes that I managed to stay in, I’ve lost my closest friends… I can’t manage to even go to my classes because I literally cannot get myself out of bed. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I’ve attempted in the past. I’ve cut. I’ve turned to drinking. I’ve stayed in a hospital for a week. I don’t have anything planned and I don’t think I want to do anything but I just don’t know anymore. I don’t seem to know anything except that I can’t seem to do anything I need to do. […]
I’m 18, and I recently moved out of my parents house. I have three jobs, and I go to college, but I feel like I’m really bad at it. I feel manic, depressed, or anxious at all times, nothing seems real, I’m irritable as all hell, and I get high almost every day now just to get through all the self hate, guilt, and crazy thoughts running through my head at light speed. I don’t even want to die because of a situation I’m in or a person or anything, I just feel like I’m so bad at being alive and my mental illness is […]
I always feel like I think a lot differently than most people. I always think philosophically about everything I do . It drives me crazy.
I really think that is one reason why I’m depressed. I’m always wanting to find a reason that humans are alive. I’m a nihilistic person I’m not religious or anything, but I think I need something like that in my life.
Hello lovelies. Sorry about not posting lately… things have been a tad bit crazy. Got rushed to the ER last night, and seven hours later, the doctors still don’t know what’s wring with me heh. But I guess my internal bleeding wasn’t extraordinarily alarming, because I was able to go home. I’m hoping it isn’t anything too horrible… and now I’m sitting in my room, not only bleeding internally, but externally. Somehow, this damn razor jumped in my hand and my thigh got in the way…It seems once a cutter, always a cutter. I thought I was getting better; better in the physical sense. The […]
I’m not crazy, their there, always there. They linger in the back of my mind and demand to be heard. Oh the pain, the sweet agonizing pain. Have I created monsters inside me in hopes of never being alone?
In short i have a crazy mother no one can get to her when shes angry…
my mother doesnt care about anything else other than numbers….
i want to talk to her but i never could….
she doesnt care….
so why should i?….
i dont know what to do i am literally in a life or death limbo right now…
i will admit i really want attention but not from everyone but maybe just one friend?
Everyone tries to make me feel as if I’m crazy.
I can’t even talk to my husband because he looks at me like if I were an idiot.
Every time I try to be happy I end up crying and hating myself more than before I wish I knew what to do. As of this moment all I can remember that kept me sane was being a teen and cutting myself because no one was there to judge or tell me I was crazy. I’ve literally just started cutting myself because I just want this pain and sorry feeling to stop!
…how one person can affect your life so much. I pride myself in being a strong person. I always have been. No one’s words have ever hurt me. Except… for one person. He broke my heart, left me with nothing. Called me names. Said I wasted months of his life. I found that he was the one person whom I can’t fight. He’s also the one person that can make me hurt like no one else can. He’s also the only person that can make me feel weak. It’s not healthy to have him in my life. That much I’ve figured out. But I’ve also […]
I’ve been at work since seven
I haven’t been able to even think about work clearly, because my mind is reminding me about my relationship
Reminding me of how stupid I am
How being a female, who’s over emotional already, shouldn’t act crazy for attention
How I made the love of my life walk away from me
How I asked him to please come back to me and he told me I was killing him…
but little does he know is that he’s killing me.
I found a box of razor blades.
one cut for every time I’ve called
their not big or deep cuts but they hurt
I’m not good at pain
idk what to […]
They think you’re crazy,
they think you’re mad.
They call you stupid,worthless,
tell you you’re not worth it.
Now you’re walking back,
to a place you call home,
but you feel so alone.
The same hurtful hits,
it’s your darker place.
In your virgin ears,
the remarks they make.
And if they knew, if they really knew
all of those things.
That you do in your room,
to hide the pain.
I bet their minds would change.
I’ll bet their minds would change.
They’d change,if they knew the pain.
Sorry if this is a total ramble but nothing makes sense anymore & I need to talk to someone. My entire life is completely fucked. The crazy thing is, I have to best mates and a boyfriend that care about me (at least I think they do) but none of them understand. I mean really understand. My dad died 8 years ago, my 15 year old moved out 9 months ago to live with my ***** mother (don’t even get me started on that subject!), I’ve been forced to rent out my two bedrooms to cover the rent (I’m living in the lounge), I have […]
i don’t know why this is on my mind. just life is full of bullshit and people think I’m fucking crazy for being suicidal and when i tell them they just say I’m selfish and shouldn’t be like this. they just don’t understand. i put on a front and act happy round my family but no one really knows who i truly am and how i feel. life is just bullshit man
I really don’t know what to feel about myself at the moment. I’m not sure how to word this, but I just go ahead anyway. I’ve recently been watching Onision videos since he popped out on my Recommended List.
I checked out his videos on cutting on a whim, and frankly speaking, he’s super blunt. I’m not going to lie, the way he says it all, about how cutting is ‘attention whoring’, and that cutters are ‘stupid, and crazy’ kinda hit me hard. He says that I should be grateful that I have a roof over my head and a good education and all the opportunities […]